Brokeback 2: Girls Go Wild

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Katemossglastonbury

Supermodel Kate Moss will star in Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee’s next movie as the female lover of Charlize Theron.

Here’s a guess as to how the pitch meeting for this movie went:

  • Executive 1: So everyone loves this new gay movie thing. Who would have thought?!
  • Executive 2: Yes we’ve got to get Ang Lee to direct another one
  • Executive 1: But you know what would be even better? This may be crazy but– what if this time the gay people were two really hot girls?
  • Executive 2: That’s so crazy it just might work.

Donald Trump Plays the Blame Game

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Donald Trump says that Martha Stewart should "take responsibility" for the failure of The Apprentice. Well, as the old saying goes, when you point the finger, you have three fingers pointing back at you. With that in mind I decided to look back at Donald Trump’s history of accepting responsibility for his failures. Let’s see how he did:

  • "Trump Blames Martha Stewart for Ratings Slide"
  • "Donald Trump blames Joey for Apprentice‘s slip in ratings."
  • When Trump didn’t hire both Randall Pinkett and Rebecca Jarvis on The Apprentice, he blamed it on Pinkett.

Read more…

CINEMA’S GOLDEN ERA: Weekend Box Office Results

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Here are the top five films people paid their hard-earned money to see this week:
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1.  Hollywood’s Latest Attempt to Capitalize on the Popularity of "March of the Penguins" and Other Movies About Animals Overcoming Arctic Terrain – $19.85 million

2.  Another Studio-Produced Wacky Spoof Movie Composed Entirely of the Cliched, Poorly Constructed Gags Found In Most Other Studio-Produced Movies Over the Past Couple of Years, Except This Time It’s Supposed To Be Funny Because, You Know, It’s a Wacky Spoof Movie – $18.9 million

3.  Peter Sellers Continues Rolling In His Grave, Only This Week Steve Martin Is Down Two Notches at the Box Office – $16.5 million

4.  George Is Still Curious.  Moviegoers Clearly Are Not – $11.25 million

5.  After Only One Week In Relase, This Unnecessary Sequel to an Unnecessary Sequel Is Rapidly Approaching It’s Final Destination: Forgotten Irrelevancy – $10.1 million

While You Were Enjoying Your Day Off

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  • Nick_lachey Kevin Federline thinks the media’s portrayal of the way he acts is "unfair." However, he agrees that the media’s take on his horrible rapping abilities is "dead on."
  • Donald Trump wants Martha Stewart to "take responsibility" for the failure of her Apprentice. Martha continues to blame her stockbroker Peter Bacanovic.
  • The Rolling Stones played a concert for a million fans in Rio, resulting in record-long bathroom lines when Mick announcedit was time to "play something off our newest album."
  • Nick Lachey wants spousal support, and has requested a share of Jessica’s earnings as well as "miscellaneous jewelery and other personal effects." The court was then forced to explain to Nick that he won’t be able to keep Jessica’s breasts in the divorce, no matter how hard he tries.
  • The new James Bond, Daniel Craig, got his two front teeth knocked out on the set. Critics who argued that Craig was too prissy to be the next Bond smugly call their friends and say, "See. I told you so."
  • Chris Robinson was allegedly caught cheating on wife Kate Hudson with a "homely brunette" long-haired hippie. Brother Rich Robinson named the Number 1 suspect.

The Big OH! (and we don’t mean Sandra)

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I know that wacky and unbelievable medical phenomenons are a trademark of Grey’s Anatomy. But last night’s episode which featured a teenage girl with uncontrollable orgasms was a hard pill to swallow. We’ve accepted bellies stuffed with bombs and pregnant men, but had the "Grey Matter" writers gone too far? Especially when they made us feel bad for her? But as it turns out, they weren’t lying:

It’s been documented that "A British 44-year-old woman was prone to repeated and uncontrollable orgasms every two weeks over three years.  "They were neither pleasurable nor satisfying and often came on at the wheel of a car," the doctors wrote in the Lancet medical journal.  "Sexual seizures are rare and, owing to their nature, may be presented to physicians late," wrote Dr Robert Will and Dr Paul Reading of Edinburgh’s Western General Hospital."

Nope, still don’t feel bad for her.

Video Crack: Weboggle

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This may sound nerdy, but I spent a great deal of the early hours of Saturday morning playing weboggle (which is exactly what it sounds like: Boggle on the web). All you do is go here, put your name in the box, then start playing against a bunch of other people. There aren’t a lot of fancy graphics and you don’t get to kill anything, but once you start, I guarantee you’ll find yourself saying, "Just one more game and I’ll stop" about a hundred times.

Beard Blogging: McSteamy

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I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy and my Tivo just caught up to real time, so instead of watching those commercials (shudder), I decided to write something about McSteamy’s beard. It’s horrible.

I just saw the end. No, George, nooooooo!

…Of The Day

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Kristin_cavallari
HEADLINE:
Mascot Mayhem: Tree Suspended, Alcohol Cited (you have to read this one) (The Stanford Daily)

NATURAL DISASTER: Michael Jackson’s Katrina Song Said Ready (Breitbart)

THE ‘BITING THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU’ AWARD: NBC is forcing YouTube to remove Lazy Sunday from its site (TechDirt)

THE ‘YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE ALREADY UP’ WAKE-UP CALL: Kristin Cavallari’s Get This Party Started has been cancelled after 2 weeks (The Futon Critic)

MORE PROOF THAT WE LOVE YOU, JOHNNY WEIR: This video (YouTube)

WHILE YOU WERE VITAMIN-C LOADING

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You spent all day working, we spent all day sucking all the juicy bits out of the pop culture orange:

  • Bob says goodbye to Dick jokes with a song…

  • Debbie Rowe or Katie Holmes: Who got the better deal?
  • You can learn a lot from celebrity sex tapes if you watch enough of them.
  • Tony Danza converts to Judaism to save his show?
  • Another Bourne Identity? Let the punning begin! I’ll start: It’s a role Matt Damon was "bourne" to play.
  • The Olympics continue on NBC. Be the first one to watch!
  • What’s more deadly: the Seinfeld curse or the Dharma curse? CBS plans to find out.
  • Kanye West thinks Tony Blair doesn’t care about urban people.

Have a great weekend!