Meet Me At The Max

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Kelly_kapowski

I’m not sure why the folks over at SmitHappens put together a Kelly Kapowski video gallery. Is it ironic? Are they trying to showcase her bad acting? Are they trying to remind us of a simpler time? Do they really love Saved By the Bell that much? Do they want to make us fall in love with Tiffani-Amber Thiessan all over again? I have no idea.

Try not to overthink it. Just enjoy. Just enjoy.

The BWE Guide to Great PR

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Drew

Lesson #132: "Using SNL to Make Fun of Yourself, So People Will Stop Making Fun of You"

So you’re a celebrity.  And so you’ve very publicly done something dumb and/or embarrassing, and you’re getting endlessly railed on every time you open a magazine or turn on the television.  Something must be done to reverse this potentially career-damaging negative press – and fast!  Thank goodness for a little program called Saturday Night Live.

You see, ever since Lorne Michaels’ seminal late night comedy program decided to stop being funny and start being Access Hollywood, celebrities have been given the wonderful opportunity to appear on the show, lightly parody themselves and their latest hi jinx, then be absolved of any sort of wrongdoing or scandal in the public eye.  It’s a strategy that works, over and over again. 

1.  Drew Barrymore – After appearing bra-less on the Golden Globes (the "least supported actress", as it were), Drew Barrymore knew that she was facing a lot more than the catty comments of viewers who caught her performance on the show.  What better way to combat the endless "worst dressed" lists and tabloid criticism than by taking the offensive and inexplicably showing up in the middle of Weekend Update with big, floppy boobs as if to say, "Yes, I realize I should stop being such a hippie and start using a bra next time I’m going to be broadcast to millions of viewers.  Leave me alone." 

2.  Mike Meyers – When Kanye West abruptly shared his opinion of President Bush with the world during a live telethon for Hurricane Katrina, a genuinely shocked Meyers stood silently, wearing an expression of sheer helplessness and confusion.  People talked about his lame reaction almost as much as they talked about West’s bold statement, so in order to make up for his surprising lack of humor, Meyers showed up at SNL a few weeks later when Kanye was on the show to re-live the moment once again. 

3.  Paris Hilton – At the height of her sex tape scandal, Hilton appeared on Weekend Update to do a bit where Jimmy Fallon ostensibly calls her a slut.  Actually, this didn’t do much to repair her reputation, she just likes being on TV. 

4.  Paula Abdul – After being accused of having a "conflicting interest" (that means they were doing it) with an American Idol contestant, Abdul showed up on Weekend Update to make fun of herself.  The scandal was subsequently forgotten, and millions of people continue to tune in every week to watch the "fair judging of legitimately talented performers". 

5.  Lindsay Lohan – With seemingly endless tabloid reports of her hard-partying, anti-eating ways, LiLo showed up to do a "Teen Mentoring" segment with Amy and Tina on Weekend Update.  By the end of the bit, she’s managed to convince the audience that she’s actually a virginal health-nut who enjoys quiet nights at home reading before her 9pm bedtime.

And these are just a few examples of how SNL isn’t a comedy show so much as it is a Celebrity Public Image Repair Shop.  Coming soon: Tom Cruise’s appears on Weekend Update and has a threesome with Amy and Tina. 

Tom Cruise Doesn’t Want to See Katie Holmes Naked

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Cutting_room_floor1

According to Page Six, Tom Cruise nixed a nude scene from his upcoming wife’s upcoming movie, Thank You For Not Smoking.

In the flick, based on the best seller by Christopher Buckley, Holmes, who plays an investigative reporter, and Eckhart, who plays a tobacco lobbyist, enjoy a randy romp. But while that scene was still in the movie when it debuted at last year’s Toronto Film Festival, it has vanished from the Sundance screenings, causing some to wonder if Holmes’ fiancé, Tom Cruise, used his staggering showbiz clout to kill the footage. A spokeswoman for Fox Searchlight didn’t seem to know what happened: "It’s never been altered," she said of the finished film. "It will absolutely be released with that scene. We don’t know what happened, but we’re looking into it."

So relax, all you fans of The Gift, help is on the way.

In Case You Missed It: Skating With Celebrities

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Some random thoughts that went through my head while watching Skating With Celebrities last night.

  • Coulier_and_kerriganIs that Bob Odenkirk (from Mr. Show) announcing? Oh no… it’s Scott Hamilton… and I think he’s doing an impression of Bob Odenkirk doing an impression of Scott Hamilton. My head already hurts.
  • Critics, take note. Skating with Celebrities is nothing like American Idol. Yes, like AI there are 3 judges, and yes there’s a ditzy optimist sitting in the middle, and yes there’s a surly British guy…HOWEVER SwC has a gay dude instead of a black dude. THERE’S your diversity baby.
  • My favorite team is the Dave Coulier – Nancy Kerrigan team. Do you think Nancy is just walking around after the show thinking, "Wait a minute. I won 2 Olympic gold medals. I was a national icon. I hosted Saturday Night Live. And the ‘celebrity’ I’m skating with is Uncle Joey from Full House??? What???"
  • The theme of tonight’s episode is "The Decade of the 70′s." Coincidentally, that’s the last decade any of these people were actually considered celebrities. Zing!
  • I bet this show is big in Canada. (I told you, random thoughts)
  • Todd Bridges said he’ll do whatever he has to in order to win. Um… everybody be careful- this dude shot a drug dealer in ’89 after a 4-day coke binge. If he says he’ll do whatever it takes in order to win: duck!
  • Everytime they say the words Jillian Barberie and "groin pull" I smile just a little.
  • By appearing on the show, Debbie Deborah Gibson has finally completed the Fallen Star Trilogy: Big in the 80′s—Playboy spread—bad reality TV show. We salute you Debbie Deborah. Tiffany has some catching up to do.

Living in America: Ricky Gervais

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Theofficeap1

Word on the street is that Ricky Gervais is moving to the U.S. We know you like the British version of Gervais, but the American one is funny, too. You just have to give it a chance.

CORN FLAKES: Your Inessential Essentials

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Without the midgets or the sequined Top Hats,   working with newly-incarnated radio dj,David Lee Roth,isn’t as awesome as it originally seemed. (Daily Dish

Everyone’s pulling for John Stamos (Page Six)

Victim of drug-induced baby-naming, implores celebrities to stop branding their kids with freakish first names. (Msnbc)

Sundance report: Fiji is the new Evian (New York Observer)

Jason Lee’s chicken pox disrupts filming of NBC’s Great White (Trash) Hope (People)

Hey kids, if you want to write a book when you grow up, you’ve got to learn how to blow some serious rails (The Mirror)

Today in Celebrity Conception

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On this day in 1938, daredevil, insurance salesman, and minor-league hockey player Evel Knievel was conceived in Butte, Montana. It all started when his father, Robert, told his mother, Ann, that he’d like to "jump the snake river canyon," which he did, crushing his pelvis and femur; fracturing his hip, wrist and both ankles; sustaining a concussion that left in him a coma for a month; and giving life to the greatest popularizer of red, white, and blue since Betsy Ross.

Also conceived today: diet doctor Robert Atkins (1930), One Wolf Michael McKean (1947), Superman paramour Margot Kidder (1948), barstool warmer and gifted comedic actor George Wendt (1948)

“Magnum, P.I.” Has Serious B.O. Potential

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Selleck31

According to CNN, Magnum, P.I. is coming to the big screen:

Rawson Marshall Thurber ("Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story") has signed on to write and direct the big-screen adaptation of "Magnum P.I.," the 1980s series that made Tom Selleck a star.

…Thurber is not making a spoof but rather something akin to the tone of the show, which mixed humor and danger. The story line for the Universal Pictures film sees Magnum, with the help of his former military pals, searching for a missing buddy.

If you’re thinking the missing buddy is Steve Guttenberg, you’re wrong (and mean; he’s been great in everything he’s ever been in!). And the missing buddy isn’t his mustache either. The missing buddy is his running shorts.