While You Were Pouring Bushmill’s Into Your Coffee

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  • Gay cowboys Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal will appear on Will & Grace to continue beating the dead gay horse of Brokeback Mountain jokes.
  • Today is Paris Hilton’s 25th birthday.  Spank somethingClooney_batman7_resize
  • Was Dick Cheney really hunting for beaver when he shot his friend in the face last weekend?
  • AOL is facing criticism for listing "gay and lesbian" as a musical genre on their online music site.  Maybe they just didn’t have space to write out "Coldplay".
  • Nicole Richie curses the fame she worked so hard to get. 
  • I think it would be awesome if George Clooney bought back his old Batman suit and wore it to the Oscars, in order to remind people that the star of Batman & Robin is nominated for 3 awards.  Joan Rivers’ head would explode.

Are All the Networks Besides NBC Having the Best Week Ever?

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NBC spent  $613 million to get beaten in the ratings by a CSI, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and, especially, American Idol. (Perhaps the Olympics would get better ratings if they used amateurs again?) Almost twice as many people watched AI as they did the Olympics on Wednesday when only 17.9 million people tuned in to see what was up at the Turin, I mean Torino, Games. 31.2 million saw AI, 27.4 million saw CSI, 25.4 million saw Grey’s, and 23.5 saw Desperate Housewives. In other words, all the other major networks seem to have had the Best Week Ever! But don’t worry, NBC still kicked PAX’s butts.

While You Were Downloading ‘Best Night Ever’ Off iTunes

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  • Ledgerjpg Britney Spears is worried she’ll die the same way Princess Diana did: Married to Prince Charles.
  • Heath Ledger wants to play George W. Bush on the big screen. He just can’t get enough of those gay cowboy movies.
  • A recent study shows that ugly people are more likely to commit crimes. And more likely to own Metallica T-Shirts.
  • Simon Cowell says he doesn’t keep in touch with past American Idol winners. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul continues to insist that she doesn’t have sex with past American Idol losers.
  • The British act Elbow will perform a show with 100 children later this month. Michael Jackson wonders out loud, "Why didn’t I ever think of that?"

Scott Stapp Is The King, and Other Things I’ve Learned From Celebrity Sex Tapes

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You know, when the Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex tape showed up yesterday and took the World Wide Web (Information Superhighway) by storm, it seemed like every blogger in the world had some kind of sarcastic, "Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth" reaction to the preview clip.  Your first thought might even have been something like, "Gross, I don’t want to see this!"  That would be a big mistake.Sostapp

Personally, I happen to think this has the potential to be the greatest Celebrity Sex Tape yet.  I mean, not since Pam and Tommy’s Love Boat have we heard anything as undeniably genius as Stapp’s turning to the camera and unironically declaring, "It’s good to be the King".

You know, as the lead singer of a Christian band, maybe this is Scott’s way of emulating Jesus’ controversial decision to hang out with Mary Magdalene, a Biblical woman of ill repute.  Though I definitely don’t remember any Bible verses where Jesus says, "It’s good to be the King of Kings."

Anyway, this got me thinking about other Celebrity Sex Tapes I’ve seen, and things I’ve learned from them…

Read more…

Tabloid (S)Mothers Jennifer Aniston

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Star Magazine is worried about Jennifer Aniston. Yes she’s too skinny, but she’s also getting old and she doesn’t have a man!

In this week’s issue, the magazine is just reminding the actress that she’s almost 40. It’s not bad enough that she’s now "living in a small rented beachfront home in Malibu, Calif." They also want her to know people have talking about her. I mean some one even said, "She’s almost 40, and she has no husband, no baby and no Oscar. I think it’s a scary time for her."

Look, Star is just worried about her that’s all. And would it kill her to pick up the phone and call sometimes?