The Reality Show Employment Office

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Chair

Before you submit your application to be a rock journalist at Rolling Stone through MTV’s new Apprentice-style reality competition, consider all your options. Now the music network is casting for America’s Next Music Video Director. The show’s winner will get to shoot a music video for a major recording artist and a one-year contract with a music video production company.

Bless those network execs’ hearts for offering the young, tele-inspired workforce more employment opportunities in this sluggish economy. It just goes to show there’s a world of opportunity out there for the smart, tenacious and beautiful. Sorry, nothing right now for the smart, tenacious and ugly.

Gwynnie Sex Sizzler

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According to the New York Post, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are having a boy. They are planning to name him Mortimer, after Steven Spielberg, who will be the child’s godfather (she calls him Uncle Morty). The Post joked that the baby might have been called Orange, but since it’s a boy, shouldn’t he be called Banana?

…OF THE DAY

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  • (MOST BRITISH) HEADLINE: "Punter pays million-pound penalty for fluffed spot kick." (AFP)
  • RACIST LOCAL NEWS TEAM: Something tells me the motivation behind this "hilarious" news segment had nothing to do with Leprechauns.  (YouTube)
  • LESSON: Being on Flavor of Love, calling oneself "Pumpkin" and
    spitting in the face of another contestant apparently deems one
    unsuitable for substitue teaching in California public schools.  Who
    knew?  (SJ Mercury News)
  • GAY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: "Stomp Out Litter!" (Gothamist)
  • AGING ADVICE: Only eat asparagus.  (Ying-Yang Mossimo Hacky-Sack)
  • TIMEWASTER FOR TWENTY-SOMETHING GIRLS: This chick is re-reading the entire "Babysitter’s Club" series of books and blogging about it. (Claudia’s Room)

BWE’S Michael Douglas’ Beard Photoshop Contest

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Today the New York Times declared THE BEARD IS BACK. While we don’t think it ever went away, we are thrilled to see everyone from males models to celebrities sporting the fisherman-chic ‘do.  But while aged-to-perfection manly men like Michael Douglas and George Clooney can carry a big bushy barrel o’ beard, other celebrities can’t even sprout a sprig of facial hair. But thanks to our Michael Douglas’s Beard Photoshop contest, you can see what your favorite hairless stars would like if they had the fierce testosterone of the Basic Instinct star.

Grab a Michael Douglas beard after the jump put it on anyone you think could use it.

Also check out some more stars we’d like to see grow beards…

Read more…

While You Were Setting Your Thermostat to 68 Degrees

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  • Dick Cheney spends his downtime watching FoxNews and drinking diet caffeine free Sprite in 68 degree hotel rooms. What do you expect from a guy who spends his ‘up time’ quail hunting.
  • Jamie Kennedy returning to TV with a new comedy-reality show called Blowin Up. But first had to promise no more Xpiraments.
  • King Kong is available for download for a mere $35 bucks. Or you could rent it in a month for $3.95 and not watch it at your desk.
  • Kellie Pickler poses before her senior prom. And then hops a limo and heads for the event inside a genie’s lantern.
  • New Dixie Chicks song addresses death threats they received as a result of their political views.  Does not mention death threats they got as a result of their singing.
  • Pete Doherty kicks a reporter. Worse yet, he doesn’t offer him crack.
  • What if Snakes on a Plane were called Pacific Air Flight 121? Ray Liotta probably would have been the star.
  • If you’re cast on Survivor, you better not be allergic to peanut butter.

SXSW: Hard-Hitting Questions With Paul Scheer

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Our action news comedian Paul Scheer returns with more SXSW Music Festival coverage, this time using his street team skills to get to the bottom of some very important issues with indie rock darlings We Are Scientists, The Go! Team and Tapes ‘N Tapes!

Ludacris Gets Sticky

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Here’s a video for Ludacris‘ "Blueberry Yum Yum," in which he walks around a hydroponic pot factory. I haven’t seen a joint that big since History of the World Part One. Just say no, kids.

(Thanks to, appropriately, Paper.)

Diddy and Thick(e): Now We’re Cooking

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When I heard about P. Diddy’s show Celebrity Cooking Showdown, I had my doubts. I mean, he was a great record producer, but what does he know about a cooking show? Well, my concerns were unfounded. Savvy guy that he is, Diddy turned to a true pro to host the show. I’m talking about Jason Seaver himself, Alan Thicke. And checkout this list of participants:  Naomi Campbell, Tom Arnold, Ja Rule, Gabrielle Reese, and the incomparable Ashley Parker Angel. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already got my P. Diddy oven mit on!

Is Michael Douglas Having The Best Week Ever?

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This has been an awesome week for Michael Douglas, the intensely private movie star who’s been out of the limelight for some time. First he partnered with Hilton to give his Bermuda hotel a $100 million makeover. And earler today, a blind item hinted that he may be getting a little extra-marital loving from Mullholland Drive bombshell Laura Elena Harring. But honestly, the debut of Douglas’ lustrous multi-tonal beard alone is reason enough to have the Best Week Ever.