The TV used to believe in us, it used to give us hope for a better life with bigger windows, more expensive furniture and lots of free time. You had the Friends, who lived in multi-million dollar lofts on their waitress-caterer budget. And the office-buddies at Just Shoot Me and Suddenly Susan, who spend their days in colorful, couch-heavy offices with large kitchens and friendships that went beyond the work day.
But these days we’ve gotten less optimistic in our portrayal of 20-something life on TV. Want proof?
You know, for a singer who had a massive hit with a song called "Toxic", you don’t seem to have a very strong grasp on the meaning of the word. It is my sincerest hope that, while you’re laid up in the hospital, praying the needle you stepped on wasn’t Natasha Lyonne’s, you’ll take a moment to strongly consider what I’m about to tell you.
The barefoot journey across America has got to stop, Britney. Your adamant protest against footwear is bordering on obsessive and isn’t cute anymore. It’s just reckless. And rednecky. A simple Google image search for "Britney Spears barefoot" tells a pretty sad, sobering story.
As if your husband wasn’t enough of Hepatits risk all on his own, you insist upon increasing your chances of infection by doing a barefoot
long jump at every IHOP you go to.
I am so excited about the new Amanda Bynes movie She’s the Man– about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. Why? because I love Shakespeare. The movie has billed itself as being inspired by the Bard’s classic comedy of errors Twelfth Night and we are absolutely sure it’s faithful to the original text. Just as faithful as the 1985 film Just One of The Guys was. That movie was also about a girl who goes incognito as a guy at her high school. I guess that was really based on Twelfth Night too.
After the jump we’ve collected a list of movies that are also inspired by Shakespeare but somehow remind us more recent films…
As you may have heard, they’ve made "The Godfather" into a video game. I spent some time on the website and it actually looks pretty cool. (Check out Mob Face!) Anyway, they used a lot of elements of the movie to make it look authentic, including using Marlon Brando’s real face. They are trying so hard to make it like a movie that they even had a star-studded premiere. Check out the pictures after the jump.
Is it possible to form a rock and roll supergroup without a single super musician?
That’s the question CBS is going to try to answer on the next season of Rock Star when Jason Newstead (Metallica), Gilby Clarke (Guns ‘N Roses), and Tommy Lee (that sex tape) join forces to find a singer to lead this group that’s destined to make one radio-friendly single and then disappear forever. Hey, if you’re mediocre enough, maybe it’ll be you!
I’m sure there are a handful of
sad 36-year-old former metal heads people out there who would be willing to argue with me that Newstead, Clark, and Lee are super-talented musicians from great bands. To those people, I’d say two things. 1) Get a job. Seriously, you haven’t been able to hold down a job since you worked at that liquor store in ’89, it’s time to get your act together. And 2) Tommyland: The Ride.
Yeah. It’s going to be a Super show.
Richard Simmons x amphetamines + Tony Danza = why television was invented.
Each week, the writers of Grey’s Anatomy do a blog entry about the show that just aired. You would think that the fans of the show would be grateful for this, but judging by this week’s comments, you would be wrong. They are disappointed. They are angry. And they aren’t going to take it anymore:
Angie writes, "I’m a little disappointed in the blog too. I’ve waited
all day to read it just for the insight as to WHY you people write the
episodes you do and all I get is what wonderful guests you had on. Yes,
Natalie Cole was GREAT as was the Veronica Mars dude, but I have
questions. Love the show – hate this week’s blog."
According to the UK’s Female First: "Britney Spears had to be rushed to hospital after treading on a hypodermic needle. The pop babe – who is on holiday in Hawaii – had stepped out of her car without shoes on when she trod on the needle in a parking lot."
Britney? Barefoot? Hypodermic Needle? My head is swimming. There are so many ripe, perfectly formed one-liners on the tips of my fingers. But I will defer to you, readers. Give us you’re best joke for this Sizzler- we’ll post our favorite later in the day.