Who Would Make a Better Vice President?

by

Dick_cheney_1    Federline_1

This weekend Dick Cheney shot his 78-year old buddy in the heart while hunting quail in a densely wooded area. Meanwhile, it’s been reported that K-fed was also shooting guns with friends this weekend, but he chose to hunt in a residential, densely populated area. Amazingly he didn’t hurt a soul. And while Cheney dressed in his usual upper-crust uniform of khakis and a hunting cap, Federline et al. got in touch with their inner-soldier in fatigues and beanies. So who would make a better Vice President? After this weekend, K-Fed’s got the edge.

…Of The Day

by

Tomkatie4
DENIAL:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE STATEMENT REGARDING TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES AND LIFE & STYLE MAGAZINE Los Angeles, CA (February 14, 2006) – In reference to a forthcoming cover story in the tabloid magazine Life & Style about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, it should be known that the story is 100% false. Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes are still engaged and are moving forward with their wedding plans, as well as planning for the arrival of their child. Despite the malicious fallacies put forth by Life & Style magazine, the couple is looking forward to a long and happy life together as a family.

BROKEN HEART (TIE): Hunter Shot by Cheney has Minor Heart Attack (CNN) & Tomkat is Over!?!? (BWE)

REASON TO GET WASTED TONIGHT: Bode Miller Disqualified (Chicago Tribune)

PROOF THAT THE WORLD IS READY FOR DEMOCRACY:
Chinese Democracy to drop March 6? (Product Shop NYC)

WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LAME VALENTINE’S DAY: Check out these poor souls (PostSecret)

While You Were Watching the Clock

by

Duckiebw

You spent the day working, we spent the day working for you! So here’s our summary of everything that happened today in the world of pop culture:

  • Alex is worried what the breakup of TomKat will do for the universe.
  • Bob gave you all the highlights from the international competition everyone’s talking about: the Westminster Dog Show. And other stuff, too.
  • Can you tell what happened on the Bachelor at MySpace? Piper says yes!
  • Photographers don’t take pictures of everything, but they’ll tell you about anything.
  • "V" is for Vajayjay.
  • Isaac Mizrahi has designed the costumes for a revival of Barefoot in the Park. Especially the panties.
  • An episode of Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen faking epilepsy has epileptics angry. They wanted Ducky to be the one with epilepsy.
  • March 21 has been set as the release date for LL Cool J’s album, "Todd Smith." Ladies love cool Todd.
  • Leo DiCaprio to play Teddy Roosevelt? It’s no bull(moose).

Did Katie Call It Quits?

by

Getty_tom_cruise_katie420x3

It’s no surprise that Tom and Katie didn’t last. But what may throw you for a loop is who ended it. While Tom kept is baby-mama in a comatose state of obedience, judging from last month’s series of events I think it was Katie who put an end to this much-maligned relationship.

Lets take a look at what might have happened:

Read more…

Are Bloggers Having the Best Week Ever?

by

009_sagan_papertrash2

First, New York magazine told everyone in the world what these wonderful "blogs" are. Pretty good. Then the Vice President of the United States shot someone in the face (but didn’t tell anyone, then said it was a flesh wound, then said the guy had a heart attack). Writes itself. And now TomKat is a thing of the past? Pure gold.

Now, I know I’m biased, but I think bloggers might just be having the Best Week Ever!

While Your Were Having Your Mind Blown By a Scientologist

by

Plutonash

  • Could TomKat – and the natural order of the universe as we know it – really be over???
  • Pink will never get divorced, Joel Madden will never cheat on Hillary Duff, and Madonna’s marriage to Guy Richie is "rock solid".  Happy Valentine’s Delusion Day, everybody!
  • Whitney Houston is scheduled to perform at the Winter Olympics in ItalyBobby Brown is scheduled to smoke some crack and ruin the whole thing.
  • Shannen Doherty got into another car wreck, this time with something other than her career choices.
  • Jessica Simpson and Maroon 5 douchebag frontman Adam Levine are "officially dating".  Apparently "officially dating" is what you have to say to keep having casual, frivolous sex with Jessica Simpson in your Beverly Hills Hotel room.
  • If Pluto Nash just wasn’t enough "Eddie Murphy in outer space" for you, Fox has greenlit some movie called "Starship Dave" nobody will see sometime next year.

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

by

Billyprestoniwroteasimple252404

  • Nine Black Alp’s "Behind Your Eyes" reminds me of a smoother Love Spit Love(remember them?) Anyhow this angsty riff sure is purdy. (thanks stereogum)
  • Soul Sides just made my day with 1970′s soul spliff Backed Up Against the Wall by Steve Parks.
  • Sexy beast Jack White has a new band-The Racontuers- and a new kick ass website circa 1981. Click on media and then type  ’2′ to listen to Store Bought Bones. It’s almost as hard as directing the turtle (anyone?).
  • If "Burmese garage rock and Southeast Asian insect electronica" is your thing, take a gander at Choubi Choubi courtesy of tenthousand
  • Oh crap, I think i just ‘John Henry’ed in my ears after I listened to this sick Billy Preston song. Earfuzz is not f-ing around with this soulful supergroove.

EXCLUSIVE SIZZLER: TomKat Is Over!?!?

by

Tomkat2

Tomkat1_1

(Click on pics for EXCLUSIVE blown-up screen grabs of the full story.)

Holy Couch-Jumping Heterosexual Thetans, Batman!!!

Life & Style Weekly is running a cover story on the demise of the (literally) star-crossed relationship between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes!  The ramifications of this news are unthinkable – our very existence might be hanging by only a few fragile threads of sensational tabloid fodder!

Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom’s saying: “Their relationship is basically over.” Another friend adds: “They both agreed that the marriage wouldn’t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.”

The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby’s birth this spring.

Could it really be true?  And if so, why in the name of Xenu do we have to find out about this on VALENTINE’S DAY???

UPDATE: We’ve got footage of Oprah telling Tom she’s mad that he lied.