Are All the Networks Besides NBC Having the Best Week Ever?

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NBC spent  $613 million to get beaten in the ratings by a CSI, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and, especially, American Idol. (Perhaps the Olympics would get better ratings if they used amateurs again?) Almost twice as many people watched AI as they did the Olympics on Wednesday when only 17.9 million people tuned in to see what was up at the Turin, I mean Torino, Games. 31.2 million saw AI, 27.4 million saw CSI, 25.4 million saw Grey’s, and 23.5 saw Desperate Housewives. In other words, all the other major networks seem to have had the Best Week Ever! But don’t worry, NBC still kicked PAX’s butts.

While You Were Downloading ‘Best Night Ever’ Off iTunes

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  • Ledgerjpg Britney Spears is worried she’ll die the same way Princess Diana did: Married to Prince Charles.
  • Heath Ledger wants to play George W. Bush on the big screen. He just can’t get enough of those gay cowboy movies.
  • A recent study shows that ugly people are more likely to commit crimes. And more likely to own Metallica T-Shirts.
  • Simon Cowell says he doesn’t keep in touch with past American Idol winners. Meanwhile, Paula Abdul continues to insist that she doesn’t have sex with past American Idol losers.
  • The British act Elbow will perform a show with 100 children later this month. Michael Jackson wonders out loud, "Why didn’t I ever think of that?"

Scott Stapp Is The King, and Other Things I’ve Learned From Celebrity Sex Tapes

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You know, when the Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex tape showed up yesterday and took the World Wide Web (Information Superhighway) by storm, it seemed like every blogger in the world had some kind of sarcastic, "Ugh, I just threw up in my mouth" reaction to the preview clip.  Your first thought might even have been something like, "Gross, I don’t want to see this!"  That would be a big mistake.Sostapp

Personally, I happen to think this has the potential to be the greatest Celebrity Sex Tape yet.  I mean, not since Pam and Tommy’s Love Boat have we heard anything as undeniably genius as Stapp’s turning to the camera and unironically declaring, "It’s good to be the King".

You know, as the lead singer of a Christian band, maybe this is Scott’s way of emulating Jesus’ controversial decision to hang out with Mary Magdalene, a Biblical woman of ill repute.  Though I definitely don’t remember any Bible verses where Jesus says, "It’s good to be the King of Kings."

Anyway, this got me thinking about other Celebrity Sex Tapes I’ve seen, and things I’ve learned from them…

Read more…

Tabloid (S)Mothers Jennifer Aniston

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Star Magazine is worried about Jennifer Aniston. Yes she’s too skinny, but she’s also getting old and she doesn’t have a man!

In this week’s issue, the magazine is just reminding the actress that she’s almost 40. It’s not bad enough that she’s now "living in a small rented beachfront home in Malibu, Calif." They also want her to know people have talking about her. I mean some one even said, "She’s almost 40, and she has no husband, no baby and no Oscar. I think it’s a scary time for her."

Look, Star is just worried about her that’s all. And would it kill her to pick up the phone and call sometimes?

Who Got the Better Deal?

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Katie Holmes got $5 million and a career boost in exchange for 5 years of servitude and one kid she’s forced to raise in an undisclosed location.

Debbie Rowe got $5 million, a Beverly Hills mansion and a $900,000 a year salary in exchange for two kids who she’s not allowed to see.

So who do you think got the better deal?

One More Reason to Love Julianne Moore

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Not only is she a great actress, a beautiful woman, very smart, and apparently a good mother, but Julianne Moore can talk basketball with Samuel L. Jackson! Plus, she loves American Idol and even called in to vote during the first season! (Yes, I’m watching The View.) By the way, she totally ruled in The Ladies Man. You should check it out.

CAPTION THIS!

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And Halle Berry presents " The Reason You Rented Swordfish from Blockbuster last weekend."

Your turn.
(Pic courtesy of the fantastic Egotastic!)