SIZZLER: Can Richard Hatch Survive Prison?


hatch.jpgRichard Hatch, the very first winner of Survivor, was sentenced to four years and three months in federal prison for tax evasion, after failing to give the government their part of his million dollar winnings. Richard better start thinking up some of his famous “strategy” for surviving life in the clink. I’d suggest “forming an alliance” by offering himself as a girlfriend to “Tacklebox”, the 325-pound man-eating violent offender on his block. It would also probably not be a good idea for Richard to walk around bare-ass naked like he did when he was on the show, as Jeff Probst is not going to be here to bail him out this time. Additionally, I’d think about using the remainder of my winnings to buy as many cartons of cigarettes as possible, to be later used for bribing my way out of undesired rapings (make sure to hide them from Tacklebox!).

Will Richard be able to “Outwit, Outplay and Outlast” the brutal conditions of America’s penal system long enough to be a true Survivor? Find out this fall on CBS when producer Mark Burnett presents his latest reality show hit – American Prison Bitch!

SIZZLER: Mandy Moore Slams Wilmer’s Lies


Mandy Moore has spoken out against ex- boyfriend Wilmer Valderamma’s claims that her took her virginity. Valderramma boasted to Howard Stern last month that he was the first to sleep with the singer-actress and also claimed to have had sex with Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Moore called Valderamma’s claim “utterly tacky, not even true…it hurt my feelings because I like him.”

Mandy wasn’t the only actress to deny the V-man’s claim. Jennifer Love Hewitt also categorically denied ever having sex with Valderamma. So we guess Ashlee and Lindsay will be denying they ever slept with Wilmer too, right? Ashlee? Lindsay? Guys?

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever


  • Neiles Life has posted every single mp3 from the May 5th Radiohead show in Copenhagen. It’s just like seeing them live! Kinda.
  • Music is Art has three versions of “This Must Be Place”– The original Talking Heads track, and covers by the Arcade Fire and the Counting Crows. I’ll let you decide which one is the coolest.
  • You need four remixes of the song of the summer– Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” Thankfully, Awesome Until Proven Guilty has them for you. Whew.
  • Has your iPod been Deee-Lite free for too long? Well, that’s about to change. Looking At Them has 5 Deee-Lite tracks up today. I had no idea they had more than one song.
  • Jack White isn’t the only cool mofo in The Raconteurs. Meet Brendan Benson. Head on over to Sixeyes and download a six-pack of fantastic pop music.

5 Actors I Wish Would Take a Folding Chair to the Face


Folding Chair.jpgMTV News recently, inexplicably, released this story entitled “10 Actors Who Can Take a Folding Chair to the Face”. The list includes such Hollywood heavyweights as Hulk Hogan from Rocky III, Terry Funk from Road House (amazing movie, by the way), and The Rock from Be Cool. While this list is all well and good, I went a little further by creating a list called “5 Actors I WISH Would Take a Folding Chair to the Face”, including hypothetical scenarios outlining how I’d like this to be accomplished.
Read more…

SNOOZLER: J.LO is Pregnant


jlomarc.jpgWe read about J.Lo being pregnant a couple of days ago. But honestly, ever since the dissemination of the first Bennifer, news about J.Lo hasn’t had the same punch. For example, the tell-tale signs that she’s pregnant are that she’s not coloring her hair and she’s not drinking. Snoozeville. According to In Touch, she and Marc have been “nothing but smiles” because this certainly wasn’t a surprise. Now she’s even taking more vitamins and “eating iron-rich foods such as spinach.” I’m sorry I just fell asleep while I was writing this post. Jeez, let’s just hope she has a stormy relationship with her baby…

SIZZLER: Lohan Hilton Bar Brawl



On Friday night at LA’s Hyde nightclub, Lindsay and Paris had it out. Hilton’s representative Elliot Mintz explains, “Paris was having a conversation with a couple of friends. Lindsay approached her table and at that moment Paris felt she was being interrupted and didn’t wish to speak to Lindsay…A couple of words were exchanged and Lindsay went back to her table.”

Sources say the root of the problem is that Lindsay name-dropped Paris during publicity of Just My Luck. Others suggest it has to do with Lindsay’s recent succession of boyfriends, ie: Stavros and Paris Latsis or the recent charity event where Lindsay catwalked with Paris’ enemy Nicole Richie. But we’d like to think it all comes back to Aaron Carter.

It’s May 16th; What’s up?


tv set3.jpgSummer is here. Well, in the TV sense anyway. Shows we’d normally watch on Tuesday night like Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls have already called it a season, which is why we’re forced to expand our horizons starting now. Suddenly, we’re open to checking out Jamie Kennedy’s new MTV show Jamie Kennedy’s Blowin’ Up. Suddenly, it’s okay to watch a Jeff Foxworthy special on Comedy Central. And yes, maybe now’s the time to finally check out Pepper Dennis. I said maybe.

This summer talk might be premature, though. Tonight we still have some quality programming left. We have the season finales of Scrubs, Boston Legal, and NCIS; one of the last remaining episodes of American Idol and an all new House. Not bad. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

While You Were Pressing Snooze



  • Howard Stern and Rosie O’Donnell plot to take over the world. Step one, obliterate Star Jones’.
  • Brian Grazer is a hoot at a party. Hide your lampshade, or it’s so going on his head!
  • Madonna’s not wearing her wedding ring. Not wearing her cone bra either–and that really meant something.
  • ABC has high hopes for new comedy lineup. But they’ll never match the chemistry of According to Jim .
  • Paris Hilton attacked in pop song. How will she ever bounce back from this one.
  • Denise Richard and Charlie Sheen makes a divorce truce. Well, their lawyers go out for a martini.