The nominees for the 2006 Juno Awards– Canada’s version of the Grammys– were announced today, and as usual, they were the funniest thing to come out of Canada since Jim Carrey.
There’s been a lot of talk over the past couple of years about the Montreal music scene. Bands like the like the Arcade Fire, The Stills, Stars, and Wolf Parade put the city on the map (that’s a metaphor. To the best of my knowledge, at press time there are still no actual maps of Canada.) Anyway, when the Juno Awards were announced I kind of expected that the new, hip Canadian acts that dominated college radio would be well represented. Well, they weren’t. Instead, the band who earned the most nominations was… Nickelback.
It gets worse…
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Looks like Apple is developing some pretty sexy cell phones. Dancing neon silhouettes using call waiting to come.
I need help: You know how sometimes you’ll be walking down the street and someone walking toward you seems to be talking to themselves and you think they’re crazy for a moment but then you realize they’re talking on their hands-free cellphone? I think there should be a name for that. But what should it be?
The winner: Schizophonia!
QUOTE: "I’m the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend." – Dick Cheney (CNN)
BWE PANELIST INTERVIEW (TIE): Greg Fitzsimmons (The Cheap Pop) & Aziz Ansari (WWJB?)
OLD WWF STORYLINE PLAYING OUT IN REAL LIFE: Canada and USA Locked In War of Words (Breitbart)
INTERVIEW: Tom Cruise on Oprah- Remix (BWE)
BOBBLEHEAD DOLL PETITION FORM: Dwight from the Office (Sign the Petition Here)
VIDEO GAME BABE THAT’LL MAKE YOU FEEL DIRTY ABOUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES: The new Lara Croft (Hollywood Tuna)
Further proof that Oprah always gets the last laugh. (Thanks to Michael Colton & John Aboud for the concept)
Due to recent reports that our favorite daytime talk show might be canceled, we decided to take matters into our own hands. Best Week Ever has created a Save Tony Danza petition in the hopes that we can show those network execs how many people are really tuning in.
Please do your part and sign, sign, sign!
Dick Cheney admitted to drinking one beer "hours before" he went hunting with a couple of friends and proceeded to shoot one of them in the face.
Now, generally one beer doesn’t do much to most people. However, anybody who’s ever attended a sorority mixer, drank with a bunch of high school kids, or funneled a beer in high altitudes while hanging upside down by their ankles off a deck KNOWS that different people handle various amounts of liquor differently. If you’re a 65-year-old man with a history of heart problems who probably takes more pills daily than Barry Bonds does over the course of his Spring Training regimen, then I’d say you probably shouldn’t risk it. Well, Dick did. And look what happened.
I think we should all breathe a sigh of relief that Mr. Cheney stopped at just one. If you use the formula One Beer = Shoot a Guy In The Face, things get pretty hairy when you extrapolate that to a night out drinking. Don’t believe me? Just check this out:
We know it’s not easy to keep up with the world of pop culture when you’re being peppered with questions, so here’s a roundup of everything you need to know to get you through the night:
Dick Cheney came out of his bunker to talk to Brit Hume about what happened the other day, you know when he shot some guy in the face. Apparently, Cheney said it was his fault, but Hume held Cheney close, stroked his head, and said, "There, there. You aren’t to blame. It was the White House press corps. They are to blame." Then Cheney fell asleep in Hume’s arms. Unfortunately, we didn’t get that last part.
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