Shea Hess just might’ve had the best night ever.
- (MOST BRITISH) HEADLINE: "Punter pays million-pound penalty for fluffed spot kick." (AFP)
- RACIST LOCAL NEWS TEAM: Something tells me the motivation behind this "hilarious" news segment had nothing to do with Leprechauns. (YouTube)
- LESSON: Being on Flavor of Love, calling oneself "Pumpkin" and
spitting in the face of another contestant apparently deems one
unsuitable for substitue teaching in California public schools. Who
knew? (SJ Mercury News)
- GAY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: "Stomp Out Litter!" (Gothamist)
- AGING ADVICE: Only eat asparagus. (Ying-Yang Mossimo Hacky-Sack)
- TIMEWASTER FOR TWENTY-SOMETHING GIRLS: This chick is re-reading the entire "Babysitter’s Club" series of books and blogging about it. (Claudia’s Room)
Today the New York Times declared THE BEARD IS BACK. While we don’t think it ever went away, we are thrilled to see everyone from males models to celebrities sporting the fisherman-chic ‘do. But while aged-to-perfection manly men like Michael Douglas and George Clooney can carry a big bushy barrel o’ beard, other celebrities can’t even sprout a sprig of facial hair. But thanks to our Michael Douglas’s Beard Photoshop contest, you can see what your favorite hairless stars would like if they had the fierce testosterone of the Basic Instinct star.
Grab a Michael Douglas beard after the jump put it on anyone you think could use it.
Also check out some more stars we’d like to see grow beards…
- Dick Cheney spends his downtime watching FoxNews and drinking diet caffeine free Sprite in 68 degree hotel rooms. What do you expect from a guy who spends his ‘up time’ quail hunting.
- Jamie Kennedy returning to TV with a new comedy-reality show called Blowin Up. But first had to promise no more Xpiraments.
- King Kong is available for download for a mere $35 bucks. Or you could rent it in a month for $3.95 and not watch it at your desk.
- Kellie Pickler poses before her senior prom. And then hops a limo and heads for the event inside a genie’s lantern.
- New Dixie Chicks song addresses death threats they received as a result of their political views. Does not mention death threats they got as a result of their singing.
- Pete Doherty kicks a reporter. Worse yet, he doesn’t offer him crack.
- What if Snakes on a Plane were called Pacific Air Flight 121? Ray Liotta probably would have been the star.
- If you’re cast on Survivor, you better not be allergic to peanut butter.
Our action news comedian Paul Scheer returns with more SXSW Music Festival coverage, this time using his street team skills to get to the bottom of some very important issues with indie rock darlings We Are Scientists, The Go! Team and Tapes ‘N Tapes!
Here’s a video for Ludacris‘ "Blueberry Yum Yum," in which he walks around a hydroponic pot factory. I haven’t seen a joint that big since History of the World Part One. Just say no, kids.
(Thanks to, appropriately, Paper.)
When I heard about P. Diddy’s show Celebrity Cooking Showdown, I had my doubts. I mean, he was a great record producer, but what does he know about a cooking show? Well, my concerns were unfounded. Savvy guy that he is, Diddy turned to a true pro to host the show. I’m talking about Jason Seaver himself, Alan Thicke. And checkout this list of participants: Naomi Campbell, Tom Arnold, Ja Rule, Gabrielle Reese, and the incomparable Ashley Parker Angel. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already got my P. Diddy oven mit on!
This has been an awesome week for Michael Douglas, the intensely private movie star who’s been out of the limelight for some time. First he partnered with Hilton to give his Bermuda hotel a $100 million makeover. And earler today, a blind item hinted that he may be getting a little extra-marital loving from Mullholland Drive bombshell Laura Elena Harring. But honestly, the debut of Douglas’ lustrous multi-tonal beard alone is reason enough to have the Best Week Ever.
This season of The Sopranos seems to be about leaving viewers in the dark. Episode one gave us the Malanga Mystery: What did Uncle Junior say when he shot Tony? And this Sunday’s episode was bewildering on a number of levels. By now, you’ve probably figured out all the symbolism in Tony’s coma dream, but there is one nagging question left: Who provided the voice of Tony’s wife when he called home? There have been lots of guesses, Charmaine Bucco (Kathrine Narducci), Adrianna (Drea de Matteo), Gloria Trillo (Annabella Sciorra), or maybe Carmela with a different voice. But HBO won’t tell other than saying that they cast a woman specifically for the role and that she wasn’t famous enough to be familiar with viewers. But if that’s so, why won’t they tell us who she is? Will we see her in the next episode? I noticed that Dr. Melfi isn’t on this list, so could it have been her and the producers are just lying? I don’t mean to break anyone’s balls, but this question is giving me serious agita.
It seems like at least once a day I see something that makes me grateful for YouTube. This is one of those things. Back before the turn of the century, Ben Stiller directed a pilot about a guy and his talking motorcycle, starring Jack Black and voice of Owen Wilson. If not for the Internet, we might never have seen the result of this marriage of hilarity. But now we can: