SIZZLER: Gwyneth’s Gift From God



According to New York Magazine,  Brad and Angelina’s incumbent baby is the most anticipated birth since Jesus Christ. That’s not an easy pill to swallow, if you’re Brad’s ex- girlfriend and an expectant mother yourself. It kinda makes your baby feel like chopped liver.

But quick thinking Gwyneth has come up with a solution. She named her brand new baby boy, born this weekend, Moses. Sure Jesus was a savior, but Moses belongs to the chosen people. Suck it, Brad.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN ERA: Global Warming the Bench


What better way to enjoy the arrival of spring’s beautiful weather than spending your weekend crouched in the darkness of your local multiplex.  Here are the top 5 movies you forked over your hard-earned money to see:

1.  Global warming is cute and hilarious so long as it only happens to fuzzy little animals who sound like Ray Romano – $34.5 million

2.  Deuce Bigelow, Joe Dirt and Napoleon Dynamite form a dream-team of unfunniness and pound you over the head for an hour and a half with a big bat made of half-baked fart jokes cut out of Adam Sandler’s last movie – $20.5 million

3.  Another movie in which an idealistic teacher must use unconventional methods to get through to violent, unruly inner-city high school students takes the lead opens in third place to mediocre numbers – $12.7 million

4.  Spike, do the right thing and just stop$9.2 million

5.  If only the movie could be as deliciously clever as the title – a pun AND a number turned over to look like a latter.  Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? – $7.1 million

Pussycat Pam


Who would’ve thought that Pamela Anderson would one day transform into the Old Chick at the Strip Club? You know, the one stripper who doesn’t feature dance because her back can’t take the pole slides anymore. The one who just meanders around the bar smoking cigarettes and asking anybody within earshot "Who wants a dance? Anybody want a dance?" One of your friends will lean in and tell you that she’s the best one to spend $20 on for a lapdance because she’s got something to prove, but looking at her you realize that it would just make you sad to see her grinding up and down on your leg. And it’d be kind of gross too. So instead you turn your attention to one of the younger, prettier girls in the club and do your best to stop thinking about her. But that night when you get home you wonder about the Old Chick at the Strip Club. Where she’s going, what she’s doing, and how much longer she’s going to subject herself to that unforgiving lifestyle. Whoever thought Pamela Anderson would some day get to that point?

Oh. Everybody? Nevermind then.

[more pics from Pam’s one-night-stand as a Pussycat Doll over at Hollywood Tuna. If you dare.]

Kenny Rogers Shorter Beard Reveals Android Face



Ever since his recent appearance on American Idol, something is different about Kenny Rogers. I just can’t place my finger on what it is. Maybe it’s his eyes, they seem bluer than ever before … no that’s not it. Oh it’s his glow, he must be truly in love. No it can’t be that. Oh I know, he shaved his sideburns. Of course!

Read more…

One MySpaced Out Video


No matter how many I see, I’m always a sucker for MySpace parody videos and songs.  The latest one is from a folkster known as The Fresh, whose soft melodies provide a nice counterpoint to his hilarious bagging on the culture of community sites:

Doesn’t it seem like everybody’s on MySpace these days?  Your friends, your family, your classmates you thought you’d never have to think about again (who always seem to be the ones who insist on leaving you endless comments and messages).  But you know who’s NOT on the ‘Space?  British people.

But we are – so add us!

(video via Jen at Gothamist)

While You Were Mimicking Vito’s Dance From Last Night’s Sopranos


  • Mariah_2
    Coldplay’s Chris Martin broke out into song when discussing Mariah Carey’s boobs. "Mariah Carey’s boobs are so nice, and she doesn’t mess around, if she had been aboard the Titanic, there’s no way that ship would have gone down." When asked about wife Gwyneth Paltrow’s boobs, however, he merely responded with a haiku.
  • Speaking of the happy couple, Gwyneth gave birth to their second child over the weekend. Bizarre fruit name developing…
  • Kiefer Sutherland has signed on for three more years of 24. This guarantees Jack Bauer will have at least 8 miserable days before the writers mercifully kill him off. Poor guy.
  • Condoleezza Rice had Playboy and Penthouse magazines pulled from State Department newsstands. Department officials say they have no problem with this, but would appreciate it if Condi made up for it by showing a little more skin around the office.
  • NIcole Richie is not "dangerously thin" and she wants you to stop talking about how skinny she is. At least that’s what she told reporters before a strong breeze blew her away.
  • Mel Brooks is thinking about bringing Young Frankenstein to Broadway. Fine by me. It would bring us one step closer to Spaceballs: The Musical.

BWE Film Festival


Welcome one and all the first BWE Film Festival. Today we have three wonderful online videos for you featuring some of your favorite BWE panelists. First up, the David Wain produced short "The Proposal," starring Paul Rudd. Next, we have a re-imagined segment of "Ask Best Week Ever" starring Michael Colton and John Aboud. And finally, we have an episode of The Post Show titled "Persons," featuring the one-and-only Pete Holmes. So grab some popcorn, get comfortable, and enjoy the first BWE Film Festival.



  • Sexy_pink002HEADLINE:  "Feds want to seize suspects’ grillz." (AP)
  • POT KETTLE BLACK: Pink, who recently admitted to doing live webcam sex with her husband, is just so bummed about living in a world in which "sex tapes are cool".  (MTV News)
  • BUMS: Dudes who payed homeless people to fight on film, then sold the tapes, settled out of court.  Too bad someone couldn’t film them getting raped in jail.  (Yahoo! News)
  • ROADRUNNER VICTORY: A report on what killed Central Park’s famous coyote. (The Smoking Gun)
  • CINEMA REVOLUTION: Rap video director Hype Williams is "changing up his style", presumably from "lots of hoes shakin’ dey booty" to "even more hoes shakin’ dey booty". 
  • ADS THAT DON’T SUCK: Check out these cool posters & billboards.  (Just Elite)

SIZZLER: Jessica Simpson Sued Over Jeans!


20041006_jessica_simpson Pop Star Jessica Simpson is being sued for entering into a multimillion dollar licensing deal for low-priced jeans and apparel and then failing to promote them as promised.

According to the Smoking Gun: The Tarrant Apparel Group alleges that Simpson, 25, failed to support the clothing lines and even refused to be photographed wearing items from the JS by Jessica Simpson and Princy collections.

Now the brand is suing her for upwards of a $100 million. Between this lawsuit, Nick’s divorce demands and sister Ashlee’s dwindling career, it seems like everyone wants a piece of Jessica. Especially her dad.