While You Were Contemplating the Meaning of “Hump Day”

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  • Brokeback Mountain will be released in Jamaica, despite homosexuality being illegal in the island nation.  So, to recap: getting high all day and listening to Marley – legal, mon.  Not being able to quit your rodeo buddy – illegal, mon.Harrisonaction
  • When asked why he chose to make Firewall, Harrison Ford responded by saying, "I like to play a real person who has a real life and family."  And whose real life family is in constant threat from terrorists who he must save them from, over and over again. 
  • Time Inc. has launched Office Pirates, it’s "edgy" new "humor" website with "hilarious" content like what life would be like if your female co-workers all just wore bras, how annoying bosses are and why working in a cubicle sucks.  Now that I think about it, offices ARE really funny.  Someone should make a movie about that and call it Office Space, or maybe a TV show about one really funny office. 
  • The mating habits of the albino hippopotamus Pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow sunbathing at a pool.
  • Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sue to stop distribution of their sex tape, break the virginal hearts of Christian Rock fans across the country.

Is Martin Holmes Having the Best Week Ever?

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This week it seems that with the help of the best deprogrammer money can buy, the Patriarch of the Holmes family just might get his daughter back. In this upcoming litigious edition of Life and Style , the tabloid reports that a) Tom and Katie’s made it seem like they were buying a house in Ohio for the benefit of the paparazzi b)Katie hates Tom’s obsession with his own image c)Katie’s dad hopes the two are over for good and he plans to make sure she gets custody of the kid and the cash.

While we’re happy that Katie will be returning home soon, we think think this kind of behavior merits a grounding for at least two weeks.

24– The Movie

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There have been whispers of a 24 movie for quite some time now. But today, Moviehole has some gossip that could indicate it’s a done deal.

Kiefer has inked a 3 movie deal for a series of ’24′ movies at Fox. Yep, three. Chances are, you’ll see the first one going before-the-cameras as early as ’07. [continue reading]

Yes! I can’t wait.

Of course, now comes the question: do they do it in real time and call it 100 Minutes (plus credits) or do they stick with the 24-hour theme? Or do they abandon it completely and produce some sort of epic action movie that spans weeks– if not months. Gah! This is making my head hurt. All I know is that whatever they decide to do, I’ll be there opening night. It’s what Jack Bauer would want.

Why I’ve Stopped Watching “American Idol”

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Earlier this season, I couldn’t get enough of AI. The freak-show part is great, but it’s also great to discover singers who are really great, like Paris. But once they get beyond the auditions, it’s just a bunch of somewhat talented singers singing cheesy songs. Where’s the fun of that? It’s like watching the girl who always sings Annie Lennox songs or "Heaven Is  a Place on Earth" at karaoke. Sure, she sounds good, but what fun is it? Or maybe it’s more like watching skinny Jared talking about Subway these days. He’s a fine spokesman, but it’s no fun unless he’s holding up his fat pants. Anyway, I can’t wait till next season.

An Open Letter to Donald Trump, Regarding His Open Letter to Martha Stewart

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Dear Donald J. Trump,
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While perusing the World Wide Web (Information Superhighway) today, I ran across an open letter you wrote to Martha Stewart, lambasting her low-rated, totally inferior version of your hit show, The Apprentice.  Frankly, I couldn’t agree with you more.

Martha’s version of the show was a complete trainwreck, whereas your last season of The Apprentice was NBC’s highest-rated show (behind E.R., My Name Is Earl, Las Vegas, Crossing Jordan, Medium and all three incarnations of Law & Order).  Where does that glorified soccer mom get off blaming her own failure on a proven television genius like yourself, The Donald? 

Read more…

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Bill_murray
    Indie For Dummies has a handful of tracks from The Indelicates, a band that may have two of the best song titles ever: "Waiting for Pete Doherty to Die" and "We Hate Kids." I like these guys.
  • Speaking of bands who name songs after famous people, here’s Gorillaz with the song "Bill Murray." Thank you Pop Tart.
  • My Ex-Bestfriend has posted some Coldplay covers that you may not have heard- give a listen to "Georgia On My Mind" and "Here Comes The Sun."
  • Rbally posted an entire Shins concert straight outta Germany. I’m not usually a fan of concert tracks, but I can make an exception for The Shins.
  • While you’re in a Garden State-of mind, head on over to Two and 1/2 Pounds of Bacon to download a great Iron & Wine track ("The Trapeze Singer"), as well as other songs that are good for dreaming.
  • And finally, See You in the Pit has listed some Nada Surf tracks for your enjoyment. Download more than just "Popular." Seriously. You won’t be disappointed.

Angelina in Prom Dresses and PJs

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There are lots of reasons to love JC penny. It’s the only place you can go to score a $59 diamond engagement ring and their satin housecoats make great Christmas gifts for Grandma. But the best reason to love the department store franchise is right here:

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Angelina Jolie in petite outerwear.  (thanks ontd)

While You Were Threatening to Issue a Presidential Veto

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  • Lindsay_lohan_3
    Lindsay Lohan
    says she doesn’t want to be called a "teen queen." Coincidentally, neither does Aaron Carter. 
  • Pete Doherty has been photographed smoking crack just two short weeks after vowing to never do drugs again. This officially makes him the first drug addict in history to ever relapse. Bastard.
  • Britney Spears claims her singing voice is better ever since having a baby. America agrees that it’s cute Britney thinks we’ve ever cared about her voice.
  • Hugh Grant reportedly attacked a photographer with a manila folder. Hugh Grant: even his weapons of choice are wussy.
  • Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony may be ready to adopt. Fertility experts assume it’s because of Marc’s inability to deliver a decent Latin Explosion.
  • Donald Trump rips Martha Stewart a new one. The old one was torn to shreds in prison.

An Open Letter to Nick Lachey

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Nick, I understand you’re asking for spousal support from Jessica. I’m here to tell you that that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Even though she was clearly the brains behind the whole Nick and Jessica phenomenon, you’re still extremely talented, and you have a long career ahead of you. Why in the world would you need more money than you will already make with your music, TV shows, and movies? Just make a clean break with her and move on to your next project. Otherwise, you’ll just seem greedy.