Whatever it is you’re doing right now, you’re not working nearly as hard as Lindsay Lohan does. Have you ever tried keeping your nipples inside the fabulous-but-revealing confines of a designer dress while simultaneously typing a text message, posing for paparazzi, trying to look sober, flirting with an A-list director and verbally berating your assistant? That sh*t ain’t easy and, for Lindsay Lohan, the assistance of narcotics are simply not an option. Watch her eloquently explain this to a very glib Matt Lauer:
Last Month, K-fed got in hot water for stealing riffs from Thomas Dolby’s She Blinded Me With Science on his track America’s Most Hated for his upcoming album. At the time he was forced to remove the track from his MySpace page, a site that featured a cornucopia of Federline tracks and playa pictures.
Well, we’re sorry to say that K-fed’s home base at Myspace has been deleted. The cached version of the page shows his last log in was April 28th. We really hope this doesn’t signal problems with the release of his upcoming album, Playing with Fire. But where his MySpace music player once listed three blazin’ Federline singles, it now says simply “That Artist Does Not Exist.” Five more chilling words have never been spoken (except “Will You Marry Me, Britney”).
UPDATE: After a brief blip in the universe Kevin’s MySpace Page is back up and better than ever. Not only is legally embroiled song America’s Most Hated back on the player, but the pictures of Kevin sipping bubbly have been replaced with photos of a more sober “artist” sipping cola. Welcome back K-fed. Don’t ever scare us like that again!!!
Since the advent of user-submitted video sites like YouTube and iFilm, we’ve been trying to think of a new word to capture the essence and awesomeness of previously forgotten footage from the 80’s and 90’s that has been given new life via the Internet. That word is YouTubular, which is the new tag we will apply to all the clips that don’t really have anything to do with anything – other than being awesome. Like the video below, dropped by reader ocdfreelancer, depicting the lovely ladies from Saved By the Bell in a classic coordinated dance routine!
Kevin Federline is Playing With Fire. Which exactly why you should be playing with Playing With Fire.
What’s K-Fed’s upcoming album cover going to look like? If Lisa S is anywhere close, the answer is AWESOME. Submit your entries to email@example.com Anything goes. We’ll post our favorites, and every week we’ll be awarding prizes to the best of the best. So get to it, y’all. PapaZao!
- Bruce Willis wants more kids. Ex-wife Demi advises him to just follow in her footsteps and marry one.
- Jessica Simpson dyed her hair red. At least that’s what people tell me… I’ve been staring at the picture for 45 minutes and still haven’t noticed.
- Sheryl Crow is standing up for Coldplay, a band that she thinks doesn’t get the respect they deserve in the US. Chris Martin replies, “Thanks, but you’re not exactly helping.”
- Lil Wayne says “I am the Kobe Bryant of hip-hop.” Which is exactly why he’s not allowed anywhere near white women in Colorado.
- President Bush says his best moment in office was when he caught a 7.5 pound fish. I’m inclined to agree.
So imagine you’re engaged to the hottest guy on the WB and you can’t even take him to your high school prom! It happened to Kenzie Dalton, the pageant queen turned teen home wrecker, who’s engaged to One Tree Hill’s Chad Michael Murray. When school officials found out he’s 24 (and going through a divorce) they banned him from her prom citing a “no date over 20″ rule. Don’t they know that 24 is really 16 in One Tree Hill years?
In honor of National Prom Month, check out some vintage celebrity prom pictures here. If you think CMM is a sketchy date for a teenager, think back to who singer Brandy brought for her big night in ’96.
This website has a pretty hilarious list of titles for Harry Potter fan fiction that might be best unwritten. Some of these are laugh-out-loud funny:
Harry Potter and the Uneventful Year When No One Tried to Kill Him
Harry Potter and the New Love Interest Who Happens to Have the Same Name as the 15-Year-Old Girl Writing this Fanfic
Harry Potter and the Uncomforatble Oversexualization of Minors
Harry Potter and the E Street Band
Harry Potter and the Things You Have to do to Get By in Prison
Harry Potter and the Prisoner Detainees of Azerbaijan
Harry Potter and the Wand of Franchise Extension
Harry Potter and the Order of the Pizza
(via Boing Boing)
This week on SNL, host Tom Hanks was the lastest celebrity in the Samberg/ Parnell musical meat grinder. In this “SNL digital short” Hanks bypasses the Natalie Portman-style gangsta rapping, and instead portrays an early 90’s Right Said Fred rip-off who doesn’t want you to touch his testicles.
Watch the clip here.
Props to dyanysus1116 for dropping it (and not touching our testicles.)
The year is only five months old, but already we’ve had to say goodbye to some of our favorite shows: Arrested Development was pulled off the air, 7th Heaven wraps up tonight, and according to a friend of a friend Matt LeBlanc was in some show called Joey that also won’t be coming back.
With a bunch of other shows going the way of the dinosaurs (and the Dinosaurs), one tends to be left with mixed emotions. Sometimes you’re happy that you don’t have to endure another season of Will & Grace– Upgrade! But other times, you’re left feeling empty and Jennifer Garner-less– Downgrade! Go vote now!
Even though the wounds inflicted by Hurricane Katrina have yet to heal, the citizens of Louisana could be facing yet another horrifying disaster – Britney Spears and Kevin Federline moving back to the pop princess’ home state. What will happen to life in the sleepy town of Kentwood, Louisana when residents are suddenly confronted with the terrifying reality of a du-rag wearing, blunt-smoking white boy who is constantly having loud “rap battles” with his “OG homies” from suburban Fresno whilst his barefoot bride looks on disdainfully instead of paying attention to her child, who is always playing in traffic? Even by Southern standards, is rural Louisiana ready for the redneck antics of the Spears-Federline clan?
Beverly Hillbillies, indeed.