QUOTE: "Years ago I asked my dad for a boob job and he said it would cheapen my image, and he’s right." –Paris Hilton (Egotastic)
KISS OFF: Isaac Hayes tells Matt & Trey to suck on his chocolate salty balls– Chef quits South Park. (Yahoo)
ANNOYING TIMEWASTER: Hum along to just about every TV theme song from the 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s… just try to stop yourself. (Retrojunk)
‘FULL HOUSE: THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY’ MATERIAL: Dave Coulier goes wild. (Cityrag)
CATCH PHRASE: Gotsar a malenka. (or whatever the hell it is Uncle Junior is saying in this clip.
BARGAIN: Michael Keaton is willing to work for $100/day. And who said Jack Frost killed his career? (CNN)
TIVO ALERT: Howard Stern on Letterman tonight. Sorry Les (don’t fire me.) (CBS)
If you’re as big a fan of Tyra Banks as we are then being a guest on her life-changing show would probably be a life-changing dream come true. We visited the life-changing Tyra website to see what kinds of shows they’ve got coming up and to our surprise, the producers are planning a show about Tyra! They’re looking for guests that feel passionately about the talk show host:
Are you Tyraâ€™s number one fan? Do you dream of one day meeting Tyra face-to-face? Have you been inspired to accomplish a dream or overcome great odds because of something that Tyra said or did? Have you done something wild, or even embarrassing, hoping to get the chance to see or meet Tyra? Do your friends and family love to tell funny stories about how much you admire Tyra?
While the Best Week Ever family loves to tell funny stories about Tyra, she already knows how we feel about her. This is your chance to give back; you owe her that much. Be a guest on the show!
You’ve probably never heard of Haldis Gundersen, but once you hear her story, you might want to get to know her so she’ll invite you to her house:
By an improbable feat of clumsy plumbing, someone at the [Big Tower Bar] in Kristiandsund, western Norway…accidentally hooked the beer hoses to the water pipes for Gundersen’s apartment. "We had settled down for a cozy Saturday evening, had a nice dinner, and I was just going to clean up a little," Gundersen, 50, told The Associated Press by telephone Monday. "I turned on the kitchen faucet and beer came out."
The beer was flat, but I still think that deserves a full-throated "Dude!" and Gundersen has to be considered a candidate for Best Week Ever status.
- Sharon Stone insisted that her full-frontal nude scene in Basic Instinct 2 should be â€œdisturbing,â€ â€œthreateningâ€ and â€œbrazen.â€ I’m sure she got a lot of pushback from the studio on that one.
- Speaking of disturbing, threatening, and brazen, the spanking scene from Secretary was voted the sexiest moment in film. Least sexy? The full-frontal nude scene from Basic Instinct 2.
- Isaac Hayes has quit as Chef on South Park because he doesn’t like the show’s take on religion. I don’t either because those guys give God the shaft.
- A judge has kept alive Colin Farrell‘s lawsuit to prevent distribution of a sex tape he made with his girlfriend. The judge’s name? John T. Partipooer.
- Hell’s Angels are trying to prevent Disney from using their logo in an upcoming movie called Wild Hogs, which stars Tim Allen and John Travolta. It all started when Robert Iger leaned against one of their bikes, knocking it over, starting a chain reaction that knocked over a bunch more like dominoes.
- Scott Weiland says that Axl Rose is a hypocrite who disappoints fans
and is incapable of writing songs. He wrote on a website: "Get a new
wig motherf**ker….Your unoriginal, uncreative little mind, the same
mind that had to rely on its bandmates to write melodies and lyrics.
Who’s the fraud now bitch?" The answer is, of course, all of the above.
What happens when you combine one of the best pop-rock artists of the 90′s (before "pop" was considered a dirty word) and one of the hottest rock chicks of the 80′s? You get Sid ‘n’ Susie, a side project of sorts featuring Matthew Sweet and The Bangles’ Susanna Hoffs.
Go to their MySpace page and listen to their covers of the Velvet Underground, the Beatles, and the Bee Gees. Okay, you can skip the Bee Gees one if you want.
As a student of VH1′s Behind The Music, I have to warn Matthew about something before the two embark on a musical career together (they’re playing South By Southwest this weekend): don’t let Susanna’s unparalleled sexiness tear the band apart. It caused problems with The Bangles, and it has the potential to break up Sid ‘n’ Susie as well. Just let her be the sexy one, okay Matthew? Think you can do that? Great.
(Oh, and in case you were worried, these pictures are proof that Susanna’s still got it. The years of walking like an Egyptian have done her well.)
SPOILER ALERT: If you’re a Sopranos viewer and haven’t seen last night’s episode yet, stay in your cave and DON’T read this post!
Here’s the footage of what you’ve been hearing about by the watercooler all day. A couple things about Uncle Junior: a) what the hell does he say right before he does the deed, and b) does anybody else think he seems like he’s straight out of a David Lynch film?
It’s only because we love you, Angelina, that we’re gathered here today for this intervention. We ask that before you shut us out, you just listen to what we have to say. You’ve been acting, well, different, this past year. You haven’t gone to work in months. You’ve dropped everything for your boyfriend.You won’t stay in one place; you’re in Paris one day, Cambodia the next. You’re just not the same Angelina we used to know.
We think we know why: first there was Maddox and we supported you on that, then Zaraha came and you promised it was the last one…until you got pregnant. And now we hear you want to adopt two more? Angie, this has gone to far, it’s time to face the fact that you’re ADDICTED TO BABIES.
While the effects may not be as sudden as drugs or booze, babe-a-holism is just as dangerous. Baby addiction is the #1 career killer amongst celebrities over 30. You need to get help. But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re with you 100%, but the first step is hand over the babies. All of them. (whats that in your pocket? baby!)
Charlize Theronhas apparently split with her boyfriend of five years, Stuart Townsend:
They reportedly grew apart due to filming schedules which kept them away from one another for months at a time. Speculation about the breakup has been strong since Theron claimed a few weeks ago that a marriage with Townsend was "not really what I want." His absence was noticeable at last Sunday’s Academy Awards and the BAFTA’s the week prior. A friend of Charlize says, "Charlize is free and single again. Her relationship with Stuart is well and truly over. They just grew apart. It wasn’t always easy because filming often kept them apart for months."
I knew something was wrong! Let’s hope she’ll be smiling again soon.
- My Old Kentucky Blog treats us to an old New York favorite: The Talking Heads’ And She Was. She sure was.
- In last week’s roundup, Jason tipped me off to SoulClub.org. Now I’m tipping you off to Wendy Rene’s After Laughter Comes Tears. You’ll thank me, I’ll thank Jason.
- Ground control to major blog. Best Week Ever presents your next 10 minutes: enjoy Space Oddity. A blog soup hooks up this Bowie favorite.
- It’s easy to make a good cover of The Cure’s Just Like Heaven. But making a so-so version is more of a challenge. Knob Tweakers posted this Atari-spawn of the song by David Sugar that manages to suck the soul right out of it. But don’t let my opinion sway you.
- Cocaine Blunts hearts Biggie Smalls and Biggie Smalls hearts his bitch. Listen to the unreleased version Me & My Bitch and get in on the action.
- If you loved Tom Brokaw’s The Greatest Generation, it probably won’t affect the way you feel about The Lost Generation, a 70′s soul outfit that tempers funk with a "resigned sadness." Thanks Ear Fuzz!
- If you’ve already gone through the four stages of the Arctic Monkeys, it’s time for phase five: Watching their SNL performance online.