While You Were Planning Your Happy Hour

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  • Kid_rock
    Kid Rock
    has a sex tape coming out with a couple of women… and Scott Stapp from Creed??? The soundtrack is expected to suck.
  • This Just In: Researchers have discovered that Titanic is the most successful romance movie of all time. Really? They just figured that out now? What the hell have they been doing for the past 8 years?
  • Madonna has been treated for a hernia. Many assume it’s the first time Madonna’s pulled something since getting married.
  • Slugger Sammy Sosa is expected to announce that he is retiring from the game of baseball. Wants to devote more time to doing steroids.
  • Chris Martin fuels speculation that Coldplay is splitting up. I suspect the guys who were doing that Titanic research are extremely concerned.
  • Bryant Gumbel says that the lack of blacks at the Winter Olympics makes it look like a GOP Convention. Republicans respond, "See, I told you there something wonderful about the Winter Olympics!"

You’ve Got Junk Mail

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I
just got junk mail from someone named "Sebastian" offering me "meg
ryan NAKED PICS." I love my Meg Ryan and all, but are there really that
many people so desperate to see her naked that they would open junk mail? What
was the matter, they couldn’t get their hands on any Meryl Streep naked pics? On
second thought, I might actually open that one. But you get the idea.

Good Career Move/Bad Career Move

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Thedukesofhazzard250b

Best Week Ever takes a look at celebrities’ upcoming movies to determine whether or not they’re making good career choices.

Jessica Simpson

Next Project:  Employee of the Month, 2006

Synopsis:  Two slacker Costco workers vie for the honor of dating hot girl. Costars Dax Shepard and Dane Cook.

Career Move: Bad. Between Dukes of Hazard, and the Pizza Hut commercials, Jessica Simpson is securing a target audience of 14 year old boys. And as 14 year old girls know, they’re a fickle bunch. Oh, Shannon Elizabeth knows this too.

Read more…

Are Nobodys Having the Best Week Ever?

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Files

There has never been a better week to be a nobody. Now, we’ve known for a while that Brandon Routh (you might remember him as "Young Henry Phillips" on an episode of Cold Case) is going to be the next Superman. But he just made a surprise appearance at the WonderCon and blew everyone away. A nobody having an even better week is Mads Mikkelsen, the new Bond villain Le Chiffre. You might not have seen him in such roles as "Arne" in 2000′s Blinkende Lygter or as "Jacob" in 2001′s En Kort en Lang , but you will certainly see him in Casino Royale. Last but foxiest, Karima Adebibe has been chosen to be the "new face of international action hero Lara Croft." I don’t know what that means, but it’s certainly a step up from her role as "Sacrificial Maiden" in Alien vs. Predator. Such a step up in fact, that I’d say she and her fellow nobodys might be having the Best Week Ever!

Blame Canada

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Juno

The nominees for the 2006 Juno Awards– Canada’s version of the Grammys– were announced today, and as usual, they were the funniest thing to come out of Canada since Jim Carrey.

There’s been a lot of talk over the past couple of years about the Montreal music scene. Bands like the like the Arcade Fire, The Stills, Stars, and Wolf Parade put the city on the map (that’s a metaphor. To the best of my knowledge, at press time there are still no actual maps of Canada.) Anyway, when the Juno Awards were announced I kind of expected that the new, hip Canadian acts that dominated college radio would be well represented. Well, they weren’t. Instead, the band who earned the most nominations was… Nickelback.

It gets worse…

Read more…

Name That Thing

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I need help: You know how sometimes you’ll be walking down the street and someone walking toward you seems to be talking to themselves and you think they’re crazy for a moment but then you realize they’re talking on their hands-free cellphone? I think there should be a name for that. But what should it be?

The winner: Schizophonia!


…Of The Day

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QUOTE:
"I’m the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend." – Dick Cheney (CNN)

BWE PANELIST INTERVIEW (TIE): Greg Fitzsimmons (The Cheap Pop) & Aziz Ansari (WWJB?)

OLD WWF STORYLINE PLAYING OUT IN REAL LIFE: Canada and USA Locked In War of Words (Breitbart)

INTERVIEW: Tom Cruise on Oprah- Remix (BWE)

BOBBLEHEAD DOLL PETITION FORM: Dwight from the Office (Sign the Petition Here)

VIDEO GAME BABE THAT’LL MAKE YOU FEEL DIRTY ABOUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES:
The new Lara Croft (Hollywood Tuna)