HEADLINE: "Spider-Man Robs Comic Book Store" – Be sure to watch the hilarious video! (CBS)
HEADLINE RUNNER-UP: "Man’s shirt erupts in flames after he is shot by a taser" (Sun Sentinel)
SALES PLOY: Hiring pop singers to perform concerts to sell condos (NY Times)
PRETENTIOUS PITCHFORK ORGASM: They gave Liars’ new album a 9.0 and made up a new adjective in the process: "Berliniamsburg". (Pitchfork)
SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "UR NOT HERE BY ACCIDENT" – Indeed. (MySpace)
POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK: Trump calls Martha a "moron". (Daily News)
Last week Sandy Lakdar was a no-name French actress with a virtually unwittnessed MySpace profile. But after she was photographed with her arm around K-Fed this week homegirl got to add a million friends. But what we love most about Sandy is that she’s getting famous off a guy who got famous off a girl who’s actually famous. Which makes her famous twice removed. Which makes her still more famous than us.
See how long you can look at this photo of socialite Nicky Hilton and androgynous clothing designer/party monster Richie Rich before your eyes simply refuse to stop working:
"What seeing a Captain & Tennille show on LSD would look like."
ALSO: What happened to the Richie Rich we all knew and loved?
You may have forgotten to treat the skins for your drums, but we didn’t forget to collect all the good stuff that’s going on around the world:
- The Killers‘ former manager is suing the band for $16 million for breach of contract. In court papers, he was quoted as saying, "It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"
- Roger Moore is standing up for new 007 Daniel Craig. But who will stand up for Roger Moore?
- Nicole Richie was seen holding hands with her ex-fiance, Adam Goldstein aka DJ AM. This better work, because I’m still reeling from the failed Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards reconciliation.
- Some are asking, "Where were the naked men on that Vanity Fair cover?" Publisher is still laughing at the question.
- There’s an article about a really cool network that everyone loves. It’s the best article ever.
- So was Lindsay Lohan with Shaun "Flying Tomato" White or Jonathan "Tiny Elvis" Rhys Meyers?
Tony has a little bit of trouble with his bird. By the way, have you signed our Save Tony petition?
Just when we thought TV couldn’t get any better than MTV’S Fat Camp, the British step it up with Tourette’s Camp. The feature length documentary, airing in the UK, follows kids–with a disease that propells them to shout obscenities uncontrollably– during their summer stint at a therapeutic camp. Says one British reviewer of the show: "It’s very sad, you feel extremely sorry for these kids. And yet it is funny. They find it funny themselves." Funny, I felt the exact same way the first time I watched Danicia McKellar and Chad Allen in Camp Cucamonga.
In this time of war, violence and poverty, it’s important to support those pivotal organizations that really make a difference. A powerful group of devout, web-savvy James Bond fans are committed to giving the power back to the people. Craignotbond.com, is a non-profit organization who’s sole purpose "is to promote and support a consumer boycott of the new film Casino Royale." Founded by a group of underground grassroots activists, they plan to stop the tyranists who cast Daniel Craig as the new 007 and restore peace to the web-based bond fan community by supporting the recasting of a more suitable actor like Hugh Jackman. Viva La Revolucion!
I’m not sure if I heard this right, but I’m pretty sure I was just selected to be Aquaman! I guess I better hit the gym.