Trapped in a closet last night? Watch this video to learn everything you need to know about what went down.

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Think You Like Bob Marley? Think Again



The great Field Maloney has come to the rescue of Bob Marley‘s reputation. He feels that his "musical legacy has been hijacked and simplified by his cheesier [whiter] fans" and that the greatest hits collection Legend was "a defanged and overproduced selection of Marley’s music."  So all of you millions of people who have enjoyed that album over the years, you should be ashamed of yourselves. You should also immediately run right out and get the three albums from Marley’s Fieldian "Golden Age," then throw away Legend! Thank you, Field Maloney, for telling us how stupid we are compared to you.

The Mid-life Crisis Jacket



It’s official. The leather biker’s jacket is the new symbol of a mid-life crisis. Back in the day a brand new Porsche and a pony tail were surefire signs that a guy approaching 50 was grappling with getting older.

These days it’s all about the leather jacket. More specifically, the mock-turtleneck-collared, form-fitting Ducati-inspired biker’s jacket. More and more male celebrities are sporting this look all over Hollywood. The aerodynamic collar and sharp darted shoulders are designed to give the impression that these aging celebs can rock climb, drag race or leap from explosions at a moment’s notice–cause their lives are just that crazy. Lets take a look at the men who have made this fashion trend a mid-life staple.

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"Do we have to wait for Bolton to get here, or can we just start ordering appetizers now?"

This terrifying photograph of Steven Seagal and Carrot Top is courtesy of The Superficial. Now it’s your turn.

Tyra’s Tough Question of the Day


[removed by youtube! thanks, fellas.]

Trya Banks is a thoughtful interviewer who is not afraid to ask the tough questions, no matter how many times she has to say "check" or "genital."

While You Were Figuring out How to Divide 365 Million by Fifteen


Shawshank2If you’re looking for a roundup of pop-culture news, you’ve hit the jackpot!

  • Eight workers at a Nebraska meat processing plant claimed the record $365 million Powerball jackpot today. Sometimes knowing nothing about math pays off. But only once in several million.
  • Morgan Freeman will be honored with UCLA’s Spencer Tracy Award, which recognizes outstanding screen performances as a semimystical grizzled best friend.
  • Brian Dunkleman is maybe just a bit jealous of Ryan Seacrest, but who isn’t? 
  • NBC releases Dick Wolf‘s latest, Conviction, on iTunes. My dream of living in a Dick Wolf World 24 hours a day is just that closer to coming true! Now all I have to do is get him to start producing my dreams… 
  • The Last Temptation of James Bond: These morons threaten to boycott Casino Royale (even though they haven’t seen it) because they don’t like Daniel Craig as 007.   
  • Robert DeNiro‘s maid to serve hard time; judge can’t help making the "you were supposed to clean up for your employers, not clean them out" joke.

While You Were Contemplating the Meaning of “Hump Day”


  • Brokeback Mountain will be released in Jamaica, despite homosexuality being illegal in the island nation.  So, to recap: getting high all day and listening to Marley – legal, mon.  Not being able to quit your rodeo buddy – illegal, mon.Harrisonaction
  • When asked why he chose to make Firewall, Harrison Ford responded by saying, "I like to play a real person who has a real life and family."  And whose real life family is in constant threat from terrorists who he must save them from, over and over again. 
  • Time Inc. has launched Office Pirates, it’s "edgy" new "humor" website with "hilarious" content like what life would be like if your female co-workers all just wore bras, how annoying bosses are and why working in a cubicle sucks.  Now that I think about it, offices ARE really funny.  Someone should make a movie about that and call it Office Space, or maybe a TV show about one really funny office. 
  • The mating habits of the albino hippopotamus Pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow sunbathing at a pool.
  • Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sue to stop distribution of their sex tape, break the virginal hearts of Christian Rock fans across the country.