Wednesday Morning Quick Hits Part 1

by

Kirk_cameron

New Kirk Cameron movie opens on 3,200 screens. JuJubees, popcorn for sale in antechamber

McDonalds
to include nutrition information on packaging.
  In
other news, McDonald’s recently created the world’s tiniest font.

Arrest warrant issued for Village People cop. Perhaps they should check the YMCA? (too easy? Yep.)

Cindy Sheehan and protesters will "die symbolically" the next four
nights
to protest war deaths. Billions around the world will do the
same but will still call it "sleep".

According to this study, 25% of Chinese women are dissatisfied with sex. However after conducting this study, they found the women just wound up wanting more 30 minutes later.

Oh My (ipod) God…

by

Buddychrist

"Inspired by the world’s obsession and devotion to the iPod, iBelieve is a replacement for your iPod Shuffle"


I guess they thought naming it the iGod was a bit too self-righteous.[link]
 

TVgasm Review Time: Searching for Mr Goodbar

by

Desphouse102305_5

"So I have a confession to make. I really wanted to like Desperate Housewives.
I really did. Before I started recapping it this season I even went
that extra mile and rented the entire first season on DVD to get up to
speed."

TVgasm tried real hard to be nice but failed miserably. Enjoy.[TVgasm review]

Tuesday Afternoon Quick Hits

by

Elmo

Sesame Street Muppet Elmo learns ‘H’ is for handcuffs. This link brought to you by the number 1010.

It’s one thing to be obsessed with a woman’s breasts. It’s quite
another to tell the media that you’d like to be reborn as Pamela
Anderson
‘s "thrupenny bits".

Cable
station Nickelodeon putting up $30 million to combat child obesity. Of
course, this article makes no mention on exactly HOW a cable TV station
plans on doing this.

New York City tells Jersey drivers to stay home, or at least find an alternate route, for the next 6 years.

The new James Bond doesn’t like guns.  He likes his martinis straight up.  Man up, Nancy.

Homer Simpson

  named philosopher of the decade by Britain’s Men’s Health magazine. "I eat donuts, therefore I am".

MMO gamer pays over $100,000 (real money) for an in-game resort. When
you live in your parents basement subsisting on cheetos you become
flush with cash apparently.

Distance between Earth and Mars will be "wafer thin" this Sunday. Just to be on the safe side, better wear a helmet.

50 Cent was shot by dead “Hommo”

by

50_cent_posters_gun

"New York magazine music editor Ethan Brown investigates the shooting of
50 in June 2000 in his book Queens Reighns Supreme: Fat Cat, 50 Cent,
and the Rise of the Hip Hop Hustler."

Who knew 50 cent is just a big ol’ teddy bear? Turns out he ain’t so tough after all. Then again, this is so much easier  to say when he’s not pointing a gun in my face fo’realz.[I don't like you in that way link]

Tori Spelling Needs Your Help!

by

1454_127372383_tori_spelling_16_5_h20063

"Tori Spelling is looking for an assistant to help
schedule her extramarital trysts and take care of her after her plastic
surgery operations. Naturally, this is the perfect job for many of our
readers."

Apparently daddy couldn’t help her out this time.[perez link]

Tuesday Morning Quick Hits

by

Robert_downey_escorted_to_movie_set

Robert Downey Jr. is back. In other, more surprising news, Robert Downey Jr. is still alive.

Janet Jackson
has secret teenage daughter with that DeBarge guy. Secret
meaning of "Who’s Holding Donna Now" can finally be revealed.

Zach Morris
set to play media strategist on "Commander in Chief." Producers deny Screech-as-Chief-Justice subplot.

Disney
to encrypt this year’s Oscar screener DVDs, in effort to prevent piracy
of hot commodities like "Ice Princess" and "Herbie: Fully Loaded".

For the right price, Star Jones might just be willing to participate in an eating contest.

And lo, the sea’s turned to blood and the sky to fire, Ashlee Simpson‘s CD at the top of the charts over Stevie Wonder.

John McCain
to guest star on the new season of 24. Reportedly will make
compromise between terrorists and CTU, declared traitor by that wuss
President Logan.