Monday Afternoon Quick Hits

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Broadway ticket prices have pushed past $100. Blame Monty Python and his flying circus.

More folks choose to watch movies outside of theatres.Strangely enough,
$10 tickets, $8 soda pop, $10 popcorn or screaming children not listed
as the main reasons.

“But in the end, everything worked out really well. Pauly Shore had
little effect on the weekend
.” Was Pauly Shore expected to have an
effect on the weekend? Or on anything, for that matter?

New "Got Milk?" ad pokes fun at steriod scandal. For some silly reason, MLB is upset.

Suspicious Squash Spooks Security Service. Specialists ‘Splode Said Squash Swiftly, Secure Shabby Suspect.

If you go the bathroom and find a long yellow and black thing in the
toilet
that you can’t flush, the firefighters will be more than happy
to remove the python for you.

Madonna: Still Hipper than You

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Madonna dropped by the MisShapes party at Luke & Leroy’s in New York on Saturday night to prove that she’s not going to go quietly into the adult-contemporary night. Pshh, if these hipsters are going to rock out to Kylie Minogue and Annie, why not show the O(M)G some love? (that’s ‘Original Material Girl, in case you were wondering)

Brooklyn Vegan is all over it. Read all about Madonna’s night in NY here.

a big show

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Would you tell a guy who looks like this that he’s not having the Best Week Ever. I wouldn’t.

Well, check out BWE tonight. We have a guy from the World Sumo Challenge going one-on-one against our own heavyweight– Paul Scheer.

To find out more about Onipaa Paaaina and the World Sumo Challenge, click here!

WorldSumoChallenge.com

Steve Guttenberg’s MOVIE REVIEWS!

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Steve3_1 Hey guys!  Good ole’ Gute (pronounced Goot) here.  Just wrapped production of “Mojave Phonebooth.”  This is really the one that’s going to get my career back in the fast lane,  Dom DeLuise’s son is in it!  Look out for it in 2006! 

Its Friday, you know what that means: NEW MOVIES!

STAY

This one looks like it got more twists than Chubby Checker!  A taut, psychological thriller from the director of Monster’s Ball, starring Ewan McGreggor.  Ewan reminds me of a young, well… me.  British, sexy, and one of his biggest roles has been acting alongside robots.  I got two words for you Ewan: Short Circuit!  Remember Johhny Five?  I would have given my life for that robot.  His heart may have been made out of a toaster oven but he was the most loyal friend a man could have.  And not too bad of wing man either!  Reminds me of this time that Tawny Kitaen, me, Johhny Five, and….wait just a second! I almost forgot this was censored!      

NORTH COUNTRY

Oscar is already buzzing around Charlize Theron’s newest movie.  Charlize is never afraid to take risks.  She went straight to the A-list following her amazing transformation in Monster.  I feel like a good parallel to this is was when I did Cocoon.  I was a young Hollywood heartthrob at the time and  I was on fire after Police Academy 2: Citizens on Patrol.  And what did I decide to do next?  Play it safe and reprise my role as Mahoney yet again?  Guaranteed box office gold?  No way! I starred in a movie with Wilford Grimley and Don Ameche and aliens.  But don’t worry, eventually I came back and reprised the rold of Mahoney. Twice.

DREAMER

This is the perfect way to warm your heart right when the weather is getting colder.  A little girl and her horse, nothing more, nothing less.  Throw in everyone’s favorite precocious child actor Dakota Fanning and you got a hit!  Kurt Russell plays her dad.  Kurt and I used to be box office rivals in the mid to late Guties (That’s what I call the Eighties).  I think I had a little more range than Russell.  Three Men and a Baby vs. Overboard in a streetfight.  Me, Danson, and Selleck win easy.  We won’t even use Selleck’s moustache.  Oh, and I got the whole kid’s movie thing down too.  I know what kids love: dogs and dolphins, specifically dogs that befriend dolphins and ride on their backs.  Sound familiar? Of course it does. Does Zeus and Roxanne ring a bell? No? It doesn’t? Really? Hmmm.    

DOOM
They finally turned the revolutionary first person shooter into a movie. Not for the faint of heart, expect a testosterone pumping, blood and guts gore fest.  If you’re looking for something equally as thrilling and a little more family friendly, check out the made for TV Tower of Terror. We may not be trying to close a portal to hell but we’re providing a cute story behind the ride in MGM Studios in Orlando. Kirsten Dunst was in it! Hey Kirsten, if you’re reading this, I haven’t been able to reach you in awhile. I still have the same number. Give me a call if you have some time. I know you’re really busy promoting Elizabethtownand getting ready for another Spiderman but you still have some time for ol’ Gute, right? Well anyway just give me a call back.

That’s all the time we have this week folks! But be sure to check back here for Gute’s Movie Reviews!  Now where’s that paycheck you promised me?

Friday Afternoon Quick Hits

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Donald Trump whines that Martha Stewart’s Apprentice ratings are hurting his, apparently forgetting he is the exec. producer for both shows.

Today’s case of "Is that a metaphor or not ?" brought to you by ABC News : David Letterman and Madonna "go horse riding".

Dennis Rodman
once rushed from a craps table in Vegas to New York after Madonna placed urgent call telling him she’s ovulating; who said chivalry is dead?

Rod Stewart announces to the world he’ll take a year off when his baby is born; world encourages him to have plenty more children.

Best Friends Forever

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….especially if that friendship will help sell upcoming albums, movies, and television shows. ONTD gives us the latest Paris and Nicole gossip.[ONTD Link]