Papa’s “Ow!”

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When not playing with his knob, showing off his nodding moves and doing strange tribal dances, K-Fed has been working hard on his parenting skillz.  When Kevin recently took his infant son Preston in to get his ear pierced, big momma Britney apparently rushed to stop her brain-dead husband from blinging up the baby. 

Britney reportedly complained that piercing Preston’s ear would seem "trashy" – and coming from her, it would be hard to get any trashier without being in a landfill.  I guess Kevin’s dreams of turning his child into Vanilla Ice will have to wait another day.

The BWE Poll of the Day

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Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan was hospitalized for cutting herself on a broken teacup. Apparently she had just gotten out of the shower (in Bryan Adams’s house) and was wet. And covered in lotion. She’s also been hospitalized for asthma, and for fever, headache, and exhaustion. So today’s question is: What will land her in the hospital next?

(Please answer in the comments section.)

How To Sleep In College

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BWE’s Pete Holmes is all about helping out. He’s that kind of guy. So if you’re in college and you have trouble sleeping, this is for you.

The most important thing I learned in college was how to sleep. I’m not even sure what my major was, but the sleeping skills I learned living in the dorms will stay with me forever.

Read the whole thing here. Hopefully Pete’s next column will focus on how to sleep with somebody in college. Just a thought Pete, just a thought. We’re listening.

Ben Seaver Thugs It Out

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After the very public ousting of Source Magazine’s CEO David Mays and president  Ray "Benzino" Scott, the embroiled magazine has settled on a new editor, Jeremy Miller.

Best Week Ever did a little digging into Mr. Miller’s past and discovered the new editor may have actually  played Ben Seaver on the long running sitcom Growing Pains. With the advent of this new editorial position that promises gang wars and violent feuds,  it’s clear that Miller– unlike co-stars Kirk Cameron and Chelsea Noble–has been Left Behind.

Today in Celebrity Conception

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On this day in 1925, Johnny Carson was conceived because his parents had no late-night television to watch. This was also the day that Carson’s father coined the phrase “Heeeeere’s Johnny,” which he said to his wife.

Also conceived today: Pele (1940), Michael Crichton (1942), "Weird" Al Yankovic (1959)

Are You Ready For Some Football?

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If you’re already gearing up for Sunday’s Super Bowl Big and Tall, click on over to SPN.com for "more than complete mega-coverage" of "all the latest in sports – so your friends don’t think you’re queer".

(via CRACKED)

“American Idol”: Twin Killing

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Terrell and Derrell are gone. E! has the story:

Fox has dashed Terrell and Derrell Brittenum’s dreams of becoming the next American Idols. The 28-year-old identical twin brothers were "uninvited" from the competition after their criminal records became public fodder, their lawyer said. "It was an amicable breakup," attorney Maurice Bennett said on an Atlanta radio station. "The guys understood why. It’s amazing how these things work."

It is amazing. Who would expect a little thing like being charged with using another man’s identity to buy a 2005 Dodge Magnum would get you kicked off the show?