While You Were Choosing To Accept Mission:Stalk Cruise


  • kingkong.jpgThanks to our insider, we’ve got a leaked itinerary for Tom Cruise’s taking of Manhattan next Wednesday. Reserve your spot on the Crazytrain!
  • Jennifer Lopez says she’s misunderstood.
    I don’t really see what’s so hard to understand about a marginally-talented, tabloid-whoring diva who goes through men like kleenex.
  • Super-cool-ultra-indie “it couple” Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal are reportedly looking to staart their new faamily in the haappenin’ neighborhood of Tribecaa.
  • Now that she’s been voted off American Idol, Kellie Pickler is gearing up to begin her new 15-minute-long career of B-list reality show casts leading up to the obligatory Playboy spread.
  • Quentin Tarantino is reportedly directing a biopic about guitar legend Jimi Hendrix. It will be sort of like Ray, except with fancier camerawork, way more karate and liberal use of the word “f*ck”. Meahwhile, Jamie Foxx has already started dropping acid in order to win the role.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever


  • I just downloaded 24 Pete Yorn songs over at I Am Fuel, You Are Friend, most of which I’ve never heard before. Now I’m going to spend the rest of my afternoon listening to them. I really couldn’t be any happier.
  • Disco-Not-Disco has a track by Gnarls Barkley and a remix of N.E.R.D’s “She Wants to Move.” Both are highly recommended for white people who want to “mix it up” a little bit.
  • Jonathan Richman’s little brother from a different mother, Adam Green, has a new album out; Neiles Life has a handful of tracks from it. Go check out these new tunes from the first man to ever record a song about Jessica Simpson. We owe it to him.
  • So Much Silence has posted a track by the highly underrated Magic Numbers. Get “Forever Lost” on your iPod ASAP.
  • Finally, You Aint No Picasso put up a great Rufus Wainwright track yesterday– a cover of Irving Berlin’s “What’ll I Do.” Rufus, dad Loudon, sister Martha: it’s a family affair. Lets hope this doesn’t give the Spears’ any ideas.

SIZZLER: Brangelina Shrugged?


brangelinaAngelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are considering co-starring in another movie together after the success of their blockbuster Mr. and Mrs. Smith. This time around it’s Ayn Rand’s seminal novel Atlas Shrugged.

While many have tried to cinematically adapt the literary triumph that grapples with the philosophical implications of capitalism in the face of economic devastation, all previous attempts have failed.

But producers believe that Hollywood’s super-couple Brangelina will be able to translate the complicated material for film. And if they can’t do it, maybe TomKat or Dambora can.

Survivor’s Bruce Survives Show


If you ever thought being on a reality show was easy, think again.

In last week’s episode of Survivor, 58 year old art teacher Bruce was taken off the island by medics after writhing in his tent throughout the night due to stomach problems. He’s now claiming that he waited 8 hours for medical treatment, because the camera crew were more interested in focusing on another story line. They “kept telling me to drink more water..[b]y the time the camera crews had come back with the producers and medics…it was too late for them to bring a helicopter, so they loaded me into the speedboat.”

Frankly, I’m outraged. But I guess now we know that Bruce is just really unprofessional on the set.

PROPPED: Exclusive Routes and Schedule For the Tom Cruise Crazytrain!


tom_cruiseoncar.jpgBIG proppers to reader garble for tipping us off to this EXCLUSIVE leaked itinerary, which lists and maps Tom Cruise’s forthcoming frenzied M:I3 publicity assault on Manhattan.

Captain Thetan is taking planes, trains, automobiles, speedboats and motorcycles across the entire city, stopping only to dance on cars, pump his fists in the air, and make bizarre, alienating statements his publicist wishes he wouldn’t! Expect him to be on his A-game, cranking the crazy up even higher – cause this time, he’s got a child to provide for!

With this exclusive guide, you too can experience The Cruise’s power and beauty, it’s shock and awe, up close and personal! Next Wednesday, May 3rd – Be There!

Captain Hasselhook?


david-hasselhoff-007-img.jpgIs there anything that actor/singer/German treasure/all-around Renaissance man David Hasselhoff can’t do? The BBC is reporting that The Hoff is now adding the ancient art of pantomime to his formidable performance resume, having recently accepted the role of Captain Hook in a London stage presentation of Peter Pan.

If anyone ever makes a sequel to Being John Malkovich, I sure hope it’s about what life is like inside the head of The Hoff.

It’s Thursday; What’s up?


tv set.jpgIs it that time of year already? Is it already time for our favorite television shows to start wrangling in guest stars to get us excited? The OC seems to think so. Tonight Samaire Armstrong takes a break from having a “Bad Day” to return to Orange County, along with recently ousted American Idol contestant Lisa Tucker. That’s just one of the many reasons to cancel your plans and spend tonight curled up on your couch watching TV. What are you watching tonight? Vote now!

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Heather Locklear’s Men


Heather LocklearWhen it comes to TV shows Heather Locklear has chosen roles on hits like Melrose Place, but she’s also picked a few stinkers like LAX. Well, when it comes to her choice in men, it’s not all that different.

From rockers to comedians to sitcom actors, some of Heather Locklear’s male companions have been large and in charge(UPGRADE) while others have been nothing but poison.(DOWNGRADE). Which of her lovers were studs and which ones were duds?



This Sesame Street spoof of V for Vendetta is flat out amazing. For years I’ve been saying that the Elmo should stop making fluff pieces and really sink his teeth into something gritty (Well, if he had teeth, that is.) C for Cookie is the perfect way for him to start. Link via Gorillamask.

The Nanny Diaries, Starring Boner Stabone


scarlett boner.JPGWhen you’re an actor there are certain occupational hazards you have to deal with. Sitting inches away from the sexiest woman in the world and staring directly into her eyes just so happens to be one of them.

Judging by these pictures, Scarlett’s The Nanny Diaries co-star Chris Evans performs his own stunts. I’m sure if you asked him about these pictures he’d break out the classic Curb Your Enthusiasm “awkward pants” defense, but I’m not buying it. She’s Scarlett Johansson. No jury in America would you convict you, Chris, it’s okay to be “excited” to work with her.

More pictures of Scarlett, Chris, and their… um… co-star, by clicking below. Read more…