Did you know that According to Jim is filled with references to masturbation? That Freddie featured a conversation about pubic hair? That a character in Girlfriends spent most of his time searching for a setting in which he could provide sperm to impregnate his lesbian sisterâ€™s girlfriend? You would if you visited the Parents Television Council’s website. In addition to letting you know which shows are appropriate for children (and which companies sponsor objectionable programs), the site gives you advice about how to get the Disney channel but not MTV and how to avoid the "worst cable content of the week." Want to know what your night would look like if you followed their recommendations? Here it is:
- 7 PM: The Most Extreme (Animal Planet) Some animals deceive their prey.
- 7:30 PM: Unwrapped (Food Network) Take a look at some refreshing snacks.
- 8 PM: The Luck of the Irish (Disney Channel) When a young teen begins to turn into a leprechaun he must find a gold charm that will protect his family.
- 9 PM: The Planetâ€™s Funniest Animals (Animal Planet) Animals doing humorous things are caught on tape.
And then it’s straight to bed! See their entire list of "red light" shows after the jump…
As of 12:20PM today, Naomi Campbell was locked in a cage. The dangerously hot-tempered supermodel is currently behind bars at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan after being arrested for allegedly assualting her assistant.
This morning at around 8AM, Campbell reportedly threw a large object at the head of her 41 year old assistant. Her assistant was then taken to Lenox Hill Hospital and Naomi was taken to jail. This is the third time the model’s been accused of assaulting one of her assistants.
Reps for Campbell claim: "We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning. We are confident the courts will see it the same way." Huh?
It’s not bad enough she hits her assistants in the head with blunt objects, now she makes them clean her house too? That’s worth 20 years in the slammer right there.
If you were a monkey this week, you were sitting pretty. Just look at all the good stuff that happened with our primate relatives: Yesterday, the British phenomenon The Arctic Monkeys announced they’re almost done with their second album. Then the canceled CBS show, Love Monkey, is picked up by VH1. But wait there’s more: a Brooklyn anthropologist discovered a new species of monkeys. And fakebands.com debuts a book about the best fake bands of all time (featuring the Monkees)
And if that weren’t enough to make any monkey happy as a clam, today on youtube you can watch Karate Kid reenacted by three guys in monkeys suits.
For more movies artfully reenacted by monkeys go to clefpalate.com.
Why would anybody possibly go see Basic Instinct 2 this weekend?
1) They were dared to.
2) They’re into older women. Like much older women.
3) The wife won’t let them watch porn at home.
4) They remember seeing bits of pieces of the first one on HBO when they were a kid and want to see if it’s still enough to get them off.
I can’t think of anymore. Okay, so that leads to the questionable PR move of the weak. The deleted sex scenes from Basic Instinct 2 have been "leaked" onto the internet, begging the question: if these were the scenes that were cut out of the film, why would anybody possibly pay $10 to see a tamer, lamer version in theaters? The plot?? No way! It’d be like buying the Paris Hilton sex tape but only watching that annoying scene where she’s putting on makeup in the bathroom. Come on MGM, get it together. Why go buy the old, wrinkly cow when you can get the milk for free? [save yourself some money and watch the NSFW scenes here]
For all you Lost fans, last night’s episode was filled with hidden clues. The biggest came when John Locke was trapped under the door, and a diagram was revealed on the wall. While the producers of the show only wanted you to see the diagram for a second, thanks to modern technology we took a screen grab in order to decode its clues. Unfortunately, we still have no idea what it means. So we’re putting our faith in you diehard fans, click on the diagram and tell us what the F it means!
Acclaimed author Nicole Richie will follow up her best-selling novel with another book "dedicated to fashion and beauty." It’s going to be a guide filled with her style tips, and a source says, "It’s called ‘Nicole Richie Style.’ It’s going to be about her hair, make-up and clothing." How do you like her now, VS Naipaul?
Fox has renewed the new hit show Prison Break for a second season, and in the process spilled the beans on the not-so-surprise ending of season 1.
â€œSeason 2 will be the manhunt,â€ series creator and executive producer
Paul Scheuring told the trade paper The Hollywood Reporter. â€œIt will be
â€˜The Fugitiveâ€™ times eight.â€
Lame! Come on Prison Break guys, that’s a rookie mistake. It’d be like if Lost renamed the show Lost: They’re Not Getting Off That Damn Island, or if 24 went with 24 Episodes Where Jack Bauer Almost Dies, But Doesn’t. Where’s the fun in that? Oh well. I guess I’m going to have to watch the rest of the season to find out which 3 characters die in the last episode. Yeah. They spoiled that too. *Sigh* [read the story here]
When Joy Behar wants to knock Star Jones off her pedestal she cuts her off on national television. But when the introspective Rosie O’Donnell wants to put Star in her place she sits down and writes a poem. Yesterday, the former talk-show-host-gone-bonkers, posted an e.e. cummings inspired poem called Star View on her blog. Within her prosaic stanzas that reference both Regis and George W., O’Donnell compares Star to a scared little girl who lost half herself. And culmintaes with the zen-like allusion to the cyclical nature of life with the couplet:
peace to star jones
every wave hits the shore
But don’t let me interpret the poem for you. Read it in full (a few times to really absorb it) after the jump… (tip via fadedyouth)