Wednesday Morning Quick Hits (Take 2)

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Gerard Depardieu uses the ever popular Sean Penn technique to discourage photographer.Sacre bleu-arity ensues.

Dave Matthews Band, Foo Fighters and Switchfoot
want you to break CD Copy Protections. Want to know a better way to spend your time? Sit down and think about why on earth you would want to listen to
a Dave Matthews Band or Switchfoot cd.

Man arrested for falsely lighting emergency beacon.  "Oh, wicked, bad, naughty evil Zoot!", said man.

Today is the day the music died.  Martha Stewart in good ol’ gangsta fashion has decided to launch record label.

Anthony Hopkins to play the role of Ernest Hemingway. Overheard pondering, "vowels in or vowels out?"

Rabies, the musical.

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Everyone has RABIES!
RABIES RABIES RABIES!
RABIES RABIES RABIES RABIES RABIES!
Everyone has RABIES!

Check out "Rabies The Musical".[Link]

Wednesday Morning Quick Hits (Take 1)

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Someone started a petition to keep horrible show "The Comeback" on HBO.
Signatures stall at the 3,200 level, as that’s the total number of people
who’ve ever watched the show.

Paris Hilton
‘s ex-fiancee calls her, "The most incredible woman I’ve
ever met in my life."
In other news, a study finds that billionaire heirs
are incredibly sheltered.

Like herpes, Jimmy Kimmel is probably going to be with us until we die

Peter Jackson officially moves onto much bigger rings as he will be producing the live-action Halo movie.  Frodo unavailable for comment, but agrees it looks like a Puma.

Lindsay Lohan suffered minor injuries in her car crash.  Airbags deploy and deflate… again.

Lawsuit filed by suckers bilked into buying into the "Dr. Phil Weight
Loss Plan
." Next lawsuit will come from those who bought all those
bottles of "Dr. Phil’s Super Miracle Grow Hair in a Bottle."

Dr. Phil and Shaq to appear together in Scary Movie 4.  There is nothing good about any part of that sentence.

Lohan didn’t learn a damn thing from Herbie

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This makes car crash #2. Turns out Lohan learned jacks**t from filming Herbie. That or she thought cars could actually save her from flying bananas, diamond thieves and pesky paparazzi. Perez Hilton has your story, complete with really annoying logos all over his crash pictures.[Perez Hilton Scoop]

Afternoon Quick Hits

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Hugh Grant says he looks like a ‘butch lesbian’ with his hair cut
short. Hopes this will cover up his master plan of attracting more
transvestites…

Man ordered to quit stalking Pamela Anderson.  Penalty for non-compliance is a case of Hepatitis C.

Unable to sue for anything else, Canadian folk group sues Harry Potter flick producers.

Sports Illustrated writer
wonder’s if boxer’s death means we’re immune
to death in sport
s, fails to realize that we’re merely immune to boxing.

90% of US men and 70% of US women over sixty are overweight, no world on corresponding rates of Jolliness.

Microsoft walks out of talks with music companies in protest over
increased royalty rates. Microsoft doing something cool is right in
there between the boiling seas and the sun being black as sackcloth.

Parents forget 5-year-old son at bluegrass festival, now scarred for life by dueling banjos.