Monday Morning Quick Hits

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Likeaprayer

It looks like Madonna has pissed off religious folks again. In some what related news, Marty McFly finds 2005 not so different than 1985 after all.

Doctors complain that Hollywood sex scenes omit condoms. Sony announces next Bond movie will involve 007 finding cure for AIDS.

Harry Potter becomes subject matter for college professors, with panel discussions like "Bucolic Bullionism: Economics in the Wizarding World".   

Bobby DeNiro’s maid, previously pinched for pilfering people’s prized possessions, presently penned for poaching person’s papers. Pfff

Jackson falls on face trying to avoid fans, face miraculously does not break.

British singer Robbie Williams embraces black magic. Has yet to learn the spell that makes people magically appear at his concerts.

Is your girlfriend sick of your Old Spice? Try some CB I Hate Perfume in varieties like Snow, Rubber Cement, Skunk, or Roast Beef. Coming soon: Gasoline.

The “might as well be Friday Afternoon” Edition of Quick Hits

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Billy_bob_thornton11_1

Nothing says "honey, let’s take a trip and lose the kids college
tuition money" quite like big guys in thongs. Las Vegas to host a
three-day
Grand Sumo Tournament.

Indiana
bill

  that would prohibit gays, lesbians and single people from using
medical science to assist them in having child
is withdrawn after
protests. Will be forced to use penis instead.

Andy Warhol’s film, ‘Empire’, is being screened in London for the 1st
time
. It’s an eight hour single stationary shot of the landmark building.

Russia launches collapsible spacecraft. Plans to hitch it to their space station wagon.

Yahoo’s CEO belittles Google’s attempts at expansion. Asserts "his name is cooler, so there," takes his toys, goes home.

Secret summit of Santas has drawn up guidelines for girth, beard length, attire, footwear and general demeanor. Personally,I like my Santa’s like I like my martinis: Dirty.

Best of Friday Linkage

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Christie_loves_robot_movies_and_hates_fr

Hinokio – "In order to avoid attending
school physically, Iwamoto Satoru began operating a robot remotely from
home to go to school in his place. Hinokio could be controlled from his
bedroom. The story is about how the robot tries to communicate with the
people around him."


Death_jr

Exploding Hampsters" A fantastic game for a Thursday.
The premise is, er, simple. You play Death Jr. (a younger kind of
Death), and your task is to hurl hamsters with C4 plastic explosive
strapped to their backs at the large red monster, and see how far the
resulting explosion flings the monster’s flaming head around the
landscape."


Wtf_security_checkpoint 

Playmobil – Security Check PointWTF toy of the day Because strip searching for cocaine has never been more fun.


Interview_with_a_pirate

An
                                Interview With a Pirate
– Classic National Lampoon sketch about professional
                                pirating, starring Christopher Guest and John
                                Belushi.


Aquoicasertlamore

A Quoi ça Sert L’amour? - "A great little bit of "Ah, what the hell is life?" animated short. Set to an Edith Piaf and Theo Sarapo duet."

Swedish “MTV Me” interstitials

by

Skaaaate333 

"Mind-bendy, funny promos for Swedish MTV from Vardagfilm which inspire
in the viewer a feeling very much like the one you get from placing
your expensive new television in a piece of Swedish furniture that
you’ve build with only an Allen wrench, can’t pronounce the name of,
and has a least a dozen leftover parts, three of which are umlauts"

Let Screenhead hook you up with some Swedish MTV funnies this afternoon.[SH Link]

It’s just a weezy Thursday for all

by

Jasonbiggs2

Pepto Bismol’s new slogan is "Pink tastes better than you think". Joint marketing agreement with Taco Bell in the works

Despite his booming film career, "American Pie" star Jason Biggs claims he’d be up for another AP sequel.

Still out of ideas, Hollywood plans to bring "Transformers", "Voltron", "Miami Vice", and "Dallas" to big screen…

George Clooney to remake "Network" on live TV; will play deranged
protagonist Howard Beale. Apparently, Clooney is a method actor.

Python bites
off more than he can chew, ends up with indigestion.

‘Super koala’ habitat to be bulldozed. Nick Cage’s baby wakes suddenly from a dream, cries a little.

Charlize Theron was spanked and whipped as a child. I’m sorry… I know this is horrible so I’m trying very hard to read this without finding it hot…and I can’t do it. I just can’t. In fact, I’m going to end this post now, as I lost the ability to function properly.

Please excuse me for a moment…

America’s Next Top Ghost

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02


Hmm. I’m trying to make sense of these pictures after having missed this week’s episode and only having these photos to keep me company until I manage to steal someone’s TIVO. My conclusion thus far? Models are practically invisible anyway so I suppose that makes them ghost-like…that’s a ghost right? Bah. Who cares… after viewing these photos, I am left perplexed, hungry and in dire need of hairspray.[ONTD picture post]