Monday Morning Quick Hits

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Philton1

American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino reveals in her new book that she’s illegiti…illici…she can’t read. In related news Reuben Studdard releases high impact fitness video.

Having not seen her name in the news for 48 hours, Paris Hilton breaks off engagement.

Enrique Iglesias voted sexiest bachelor. Uhh..Yes, nice to mole you. Meet you! Nice to meet your mole. Don’t say mole. I said mole.

Xena discovered to be orbited by Gabrielle. Scientists insist they are just good friends…Nerds everywhere snicker.

Santa Claus receives $5k for fly-by death of reindeer. In other news, Santa exists and has a checking account.

Melissa Etheridge is developing ABC sitcom. This groundbreaking sitcom will feature Etheridge in a role destined to open America’s eyes to homosexuality as a single gay woman named Melissa…just trying to live life, her way. My magic mirror says this show will last half a season only to pave the road for a hit morning talk show called ‘Melissa’. Think of the morning talk show ‘Ellen’ but with Ethridge’s notorious sense of humor…

Well, somebody has to pay dearly for Jen’s happiness…

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Here is your shot to buy the once happy home of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and it will  only cost you a measly $28 million.  But there is no guarantee Brad Pitt will have a night of confusion, only to stumble into your bedroom, drunk, wanting forgiveness and guilt free sex. Not again anyway.

Pfft. For $28 million you think you could at least get his wax figure and a few finger nail clippings. What? Too freaky? He’s dating a  woman (granted a super hot woman) who used to wear a vial of blood around her neck for god’s sake. I think he can handle some wax and dead skin.[Real Estate Listing ]

Link thanks to:
The JJB

TVgasm’s Desperate Housewives Episode Review: Cleaning House

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Last week’s Desperate Housewives left off with a
decidedly bizarre and sad funeral for Bree’s beloved Rex/really fake
looking dummy head, and Susan breaking up with Mike over his psychotic
gun-toting son he never knew he had. And with Gabrielle’s Carlos still
locked up in the hoosegow and the father of her baby still unknown, it
was rather a sad week for the ladies of Wisteria Lane.

It’s that time again, TVgasm takes no prisoners this time…[TVgasm review]

Kate Moss Cocaine Video

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It was only a matter of time until someone with a cell phone camera had enough balls (and lacked enough class) to either catch a supermodel backstage topless or you know, snorting gigantic lines of coke. Smile pretty for the camera Ms. Moss.[video link]

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Black_family

From Demi & Ashton getting married to Steve-O losing it on Adam Corolla, it’s been a pretty crazy week. That’s why you have to tune in tonight at 11 (and all weekend long) and watch Best Week Ever.

Need two more reasons to tune in?

Well, this week we had our favorite blogger drop by, Trent (from Pink is the New Blog) and we had our favorite Amazing Race family here too– The Black Family. Insert joke here.

So check it out.

(image from Gawker)

Friday Quick Hits

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Showgirls

Mike Myers has sign ed on to play The Who’s Keith Moon in a biopic. If he’s half as good doing Keith as he was doing Mick Jagger on SNL, we’re all in for a treat.

According to a poll in Empire magazine, the worst sex scene ever on film was Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan’s pool romp in "Showgirls." Which is shocking, because besides that "Showgirls" is such an incredible movie.

Tara Reid is close to breaking point. This should make for a "very special" episode of Taradise. Well, more special than normal.

Constantine from "American Idol" signs abc sitcom deal. Probably because heaven didn’t want him, hell won’t take him, and Earth needs him. Or something like that.

The inventor of Valium has passed away. Friends and family try their best to muster up a reaction.

George vs. Rita

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"Use your Dragonzord!!"

Finally, an accurate depiction of how our President handled Hurricane Rita. I had no idea how big this thing was… apparently it involved Power Rangers, Dick Cheney, and the Terminator. Who knew?? Read all about it here.

Link thanks to GorillaMask

Shining: It’s heartwarming

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Shining

FInally, a feel good comedy that the whole family can agree on. "Shining."  Check out the trailer for this beautifully shot Jack Nicholson piece here.

This is definitely the best piece of editing I’ve seen in quite some time. I wonder what other movie trailers would look like if they got a similar treatment?