Jada Pinkett-Smith Rocks-Rolls

by

Jada_pinkett_smith_wicked1

The indispensable Goldenfiddle reminded us that Jada Pinkett-Smith’s metal band Wicked Wisdom is playing Letterman tonight. Here’s a little description of the group:

There she was fronting the Wicked Wisdom, an otherwise all-male group of menace-rockers. Smith takes pains to present the band as a collective, but make no mistake, the actress-singer-wife commanded the attention. In fact, the audience of young men — few nancy-boys among them — were slightly taken aback by the sight of her.

Her eyes bulged like Jack Nicholson. A black muscle shirt revealed formidable triceps, which were taut like the rest of her. She did the devil-horn thing with her fingers, and her demonic tongue-waving would trouble even Linda Blair. Here could be the distressed, bastard hate-child of Henry Rollins and Diana Ross, I kid you not.

In the words of Paul Shaffer, “Yeah!”

Michael Jackson, Happy Homemaker

by

Michael_jackson_soccer_mom

According to Star Magazine’s sighting, Michael Jackson is becoming quite the everyday soccer mom. He was spotted carting his kids to Mall (in Bahrain), while sporting conservative suburban fashions(a black abaya robe traditionally worn by Bahraini women and a veil hiding his face), all while monitoring the safety of his kids (wrapping scarves around their faces.)

Who wants to bet that after their shopping spree they picked up some ice-cream sundaes(dippin dot’s and Elmer’s glue), piled into the minivan (the oscar myer weiner-mobile) and went to catch a movie(End of the Spear).

Kate Moss: Rehab by the Book

by

Book20final1

Breaking news in the world of literature:

British supermodel Kate Moss, at the center of a scandal last year after being filmed apparently snorting cocaine, has agreed to publish her autobiography. Will Whitehorn, a right-hand man of Virgin Group founder Richard Branson, said Moss had agreed the terms of a deal with Branson, although there was no indication of when the book would appear on the shelves.

That coke scandal could turn out being the best thing that ever happened to her. Are you paying attention, young models?

Today in Celebrity Conception

by

Imagemain_sperm_egg1_21

On this day in 1960, Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg, AKA Jean-Claude Van Damme, AKA the Muscles from Brussels, was conceived. Also on this day, there was an earthquake in Belgium, and the epicenter was traced to his parents bedroom. (The maximal intensity degree was V, in case you were wondering.) Finally, it’s almost too good to be true, but around this time the song “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head” was also conceived. Learn more about Van Damme at his incredibly awesome website.

Also conceived today: Chuck Berry (1926), Peter Boyle (1935), Pam Dawber (1951), Wynton Marsalis (1961)

Zombie-Shop

by

Zombie018hm1_2 Zombie026bj1_1

If you think you’re sexy now, imagaine how you’d look as a zombie!

The dudes at imarc.net are offering step-by-step instructions on how to photoshop your face off. (Thanks a welsch view!)

Pixney or Disnar?

by

Lasseter_inline21
Please stay incredible!

Now that Disney has bought Pixar, the question is: Will Pixar make Disney better, or will Disney bring down Pixar? It’s encouraging that John A. Lasseter will be taking over, but it’s possible he’ll be stretched too thin. We’ve all seen it happen: You have a favorite restaurant that is really popular, so the owner opens another one, and they both end up mediocre. By the way, Lasseter is, according to Kevin Koch (the president of the Hollywood animator’s union), "probably the most respected single person in American animation. He’s a creative leader without being overbearing or over-controlling." Mr. Lasseter, if you need to be overbearing to keep Pixar from Brother Bearing, please do it!

Sex Sells

by

Sexhammock

This from CNN:  "Sex.com, long coveted as potentially one of the most lucrative sites on the Web because of its catchy name, has been sold for about $12 million in cash and stock, a source familiar with the deal said on Monday."

So Best Week Ever did some re-con work to find out some similar sentiments that are still up for grabs on the www.

intercourse.com

tenderlovemaking.com

nomeansno.com

doinit.com

popazao.com

Corn Flakes: Your Essential Inessentials

by

Flakes

  • Russell Crowe vows to mercilessly beat paparazzi with a bulky 1970′s rotary telephone should any of them dare to harass his pregnant wife (The Age)
  • Remember that one time, when Kanye stepped out of his bullet-proof Escalade and walked on water on his way to Puffy’s party where he miraculously turned Korbel into Cristal?  (The Gospel According to Yahoo! News)
  • And is Pamela Anderson his Mary Magdalene??? (MSN)
  • Brooke Shields is preparing to have another daughter!  Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is preparing to have another meltdown! (Yahoo!)
  • American Idol Judge Simon Cowell is under attack for insensitively questioning a male contestant’s sexuality.  For a man whose entire wardrobe consists of tight black t-shirts, it sort of seems like the pot calling the kettle black. (E! Online)
  • RIP Chris Penn (Reuters)