Ladies, meet Dante Spencer. Dante likes chocolate-peanut butter ice-cream, fluffy bunnies , romantic strolls in the park of your choice and Paula frikkin’ Abdul. Did you hear that loud POPPING noise? Yeah…that was my mind exploding. Don’t look into his eyes, he could be a cold hearted snake. [Socialite Life Scoop]
I have a confession to make: I went into the new The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
with lower expectations than most. I’m not a Martha hater but after the
last season of Trump’s Apprentice, I had soured on the show and its
concept. Now that I’ve seen the premiere of Martha’s version, I can
happily admit I was wrong. I really enjoyed the show – so much so that
afterwards I celebrated by whipping up some fresh homemade cream sauce
in honor of Martha. And then I cleaned up and went to the kitchen to
cook something as well.
Stevie Wonder delivers album to anxious record label just before Grammy deadline. Says he can’t see what the big hurry is…
Pamela Anderson tops Lycos list of all-time most-searched web term,
behind Dragonball and Pokemon. Judges must have disqualified pr0n and
Billboard charts don’t care about Kanye West.
Ratings of Martha Stewart‘s Apprentice show? Not a good thing. Not a good thing at all.
FBI thought John Lennon was too stoned to be a revolutionary. John found this statement came out of the blue and just wants the FBI to know he doesn’t want to be a soldier and that he’s moving on.
Chris Rock’s former schoolteacher felt so crappy after watching "Everybody Hates Chris" he sent the comedian an apology…and then a bill from his lawyer.
Warren Beatty blasts Arnold Schwarzenegger for political spin, cosmetic use, and photo ops. Schwarzenegger’s defense? Instructing him to watch the first few minutes of Terminator. Have you seen the size of this man’s penis? It’s huge.
Hollywood now pitching movies in churches. Please do not pray during the movie.
McDonalds to give contraceptive injections, no news as to whether it will come with fries and a coke.
Science has come a long way, folks. I’m no scientist, but maybe that was because in high school we had to use boring fake skeletons to learn about our anatomy. I think the children are the future and that they deserve the best tools and specimens to study from. That being said, I think Nicole Richie should do a nation wide school tour so the future rulers of tomorrow can be truly
disgusted enriched by the scientific wonders that is Ms. Nicole Richie. Donate that body to science, stat! Do it for the children! [ eat a burger and check out Junk-Feud's larger picture]
Good News: "A Current Affair" gets cancelled 8 months into its 2nd run. Bad News: It gets replaced by "Geraldo at Large".
FBI’s website releases dirt on dead celebrities. Liberace was a
gambler, Sinatra volunteered as undercover FBI and Andy Warhol’s 15
minutes of fame will never expire.
Kate Moss being wooed by Scientology to help beat her drug problem. Katie, watch your back.
Rap artist Nelly to star in reality show to bring "more attention to my
nonprofit organizations." Like the Nelly Stripper Pole and Plasma TV
Lynndie England was only trying to "please" her boyfriend by posing for
the Abu Gharib photos. Cue the desire to claw out your mind’s eye
"Looo-cy, you got some ‘splain to do!" heard in Orioles clubhouse as Raffy implicates another teammate in the steroids scandal.
"Sure, we all want to keep on truckin’. But are you prepared to maintain the Learn how!"[screenhead link]
Huricane what-what? I come to you with LATE-BREAKING-NEWS. An Olsen decided to stay in New York and says ‘yes’ to another year of learning, however the university food plan card is probably still a no-go.[Gawker and Perez Hilton]
Alyssa Milano is out trying to help hurricane victims. Meanwhile, Angela and Mona have still done jack s***.
HBO decided Lisa Kudrow wont comeback to their offices any time soon.
Ed McMahon to tour the country reminiscing about Johnny Carson. Look for his one man show "Living off the talent of a dead man" coming to a town near you.
Chris Martin, who thinks naming your daughter after fruit is a good idea, thinks making a Coldplay country/hip-hop album with Garth Brooks and Kanye West would help the future of music.
Metallica to appear in an episode of the Simpsons. Comic Book Guy heard muttering "Worst Show Ever" while downloading the Black Album.
New Dutch TV show titled "Swallow and Shoot Up" will feature host taking LSD and heroin on air. Fox network nods admiringly…
What better way to start off your day than some coffee and Tyra Bank’s uneven boobies. Is she a normal woman or a freak of nature? Tyra, those boobies of yours maybe strange but you could have a third nipple and a wooden leg most of us would still be interested din fondling ‘em. Good try though…a few more episodes like this and you might be able to convince us you’re human.[four four link]