(LUKE WARM) SIZZLER: Bolton and Sheridan Engaged

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Nsheridan Desperate Housewives actress Nicolette Sheridan and crooner Michael Bolton are officially engaged, according to People Magazine. Ever since the couple rekindled a romance they first consummated in 1994, they have been blissfully in love. Months ago the formerly-pony-tailed Bolton serenaded Sheridan with an impromptu concert in Hawaii and regularly the couple are seen cavorting on white sand beaches. But now that the duo will tie the knot, their romance will finally match the smoldering sexiness of the I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter Commercials.

BWE Photoshop Contest: Drunk Jakey G

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Jakegyllenhaalpreoscarparty01_1Boys and girls, it’s time for another BWE Photoshop Contest. Are you ready?

By now everybody’s seen these photographs of an assumedly intoxicated Jake Gyllenhaal sticking his face all up in Ang Lee’s photo-ops. Egotastic was all over it. Well, now it’s your turn to see where else you could stick Jake.

Click below to get the Jake photos to work with. Then, email your submissions to BWEphotoshopContest@gmail.com.

The deadline is a week from today, March 21, so get crackin! The best one gets a prize. Best of luck.

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While You Were Thinking About How Nice A Spring Break Would Be

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  • Scarlett
    Mike Wallace
    is retiring after 37 years on 60 minutes. You do the math.
  • Scarlett Johansson has been named Hollywood’s most natural beauty by a survey of make-up artists. Somehow, Cher didn’t make the list.
  • The host of the popular game show Press Your Luck was killed in a plane crash on Monday. Upon hearing the news, a slew of Jay Leno writers wonder if it’s too soon to make a Whammy joke.
  • The Golden Girls have been honored by Hollywood for their contributions to the TV world. This comes just days after being honored by The Cheesecake Factory for their contributions to the cheesecake world.
  • Nicole Richie is back with ex-fiance DJ AM. It’s a remix.
  • Aretha Franklin has the hots for Terrence Howard, and proved it by announcing "Twenty years ago i would have hustled and flowed with him." If you’ve seen Aretha lately it’s obvious that her hustling days are behind her… and I don’t even want to think about the flowing.

Like Father, Like Son

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Kit_1

So Macaulay Culkin’s new book Junior or the strike through rambling McSweeney’s style autobiography, is on display in Barnes and Nobles across the country. While critics are calling it an "audaciously empty mishmash of poems, letters, comics, etc.," no one can deny the book is rife with father issues. The father in question is based on Culkin’s real dad Kit, a failed actor who’s reportedly pined after his son’s career since Uncle Buck.

Not suprisingly, Culkin Sr. is once again following in his son’s footsteps and writing his own autobiography. No doubt it will be rife with son issues. Find out more about it after the jump…

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SIZZLER: George Lucas Okays “Indiana Jones” Script

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250pxindiana

Get your hat and whip ready:

George Lucas has finally given the go ahead to a script for the long-awaited Indiana Jones sequel and has passed it onto director Steven Spielberg for fine tuning. Speaking at last night’s Empire Awards in London, Star Wars producer Rick McCallum confirmed that shooting on the next adventure in the Jones franchise is moving towards a start date.
McCallum said, "(George has) just finished the Indiana Jones script, and Steven’s having that rewritten and a few things done."

This might be a disaster, but I’m excited anyway!

The Other Side of “Wife Swap”

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Wifeswap

A while back, there was a special episode of Wife Swap, where couples told us how the show saved their marriage. But it would seem to me that it would be much more likely that it would ruin marriages. Like last night’s episode, for instance:

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LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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Dolly

  • What do you get when you mash up a capella music with Super Mario Brothers? A nintendo medley sung by 15 college-age virgins, coutersy of WFMU’s Blog
  • Listening to Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 makes the work week somewhat more bearable. Especially now that I’ve taken my boss hostage and taken control of the company. (sponsored by Audiography).
  • The Hype Machine has the Morissey/Siouxsie (of the Banshees) duet Interlude. Doesn’t hold a candle to the romance in Cher/Peter Cetera’s "After All".
  • If you’re jonesing for a little uptown soul, listen to Voice of East Harlem’s joint Cashing In brought to you by combo plates.
  • Said the Gramaphone kisses and makes up with "new folk" athenmists Espers. The band the blog formerly reviled, now calls their latest album one of the best in the past 15 years. Downlaod Dead Queen and judge for yourself.

Jack Bauer’s iTunes Playlist

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Kiefersutherland
Is it a bad thing that I can’t separate Kiefer Sutherland from Jack Bauer anymore? Nahhhh.

Anyway, Jack took a break from killing terrorists and seeking out the centox nerve gas to make a celebrity playlist for the folks over at iTunes. And of course, just like Jack, it’s pretty damn cool.

Not surprisingly, Jack included famously cool artists like David Bowie, XTC, The Police and Marvin Gaye. But I don’t know about his inclusion of "Angel" by Sarah McLachlin. That must’ve been a Kiefer pick.

Click the thumbnail to the right to check out the tracklisting. Playlist

Let’s Play the Irrelevancy Feud!

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Weiland
Not since the great Scott Stapp vs. 311 showdown of 2005 has there been such an epic battle of unnecessarily bloated egos as this – Scott Weiland and W. Axl Rose!

First, Axl files a lawsuit against Slash and talks some smack about Velvet Revolver, calling lead singer Weiland a "fraud". 

Then Weiland fires back a blistering open letter with perhaps the funniest opening line ever:

Get in the ring Go the gym, motherf*cker, or if you prefer, get a new wig motherf*cker.

Ouch.  Weiland 1, Rose 0.

Of course, Chinese Democracy is going to reinvent rock music as we know it.  Right, Axl?

TV From the Cradle to the Grave

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Television

What if this happens:
A couple meets on The Bachelor. They have their wedding on Wedding Story. They have a child on Baby Story. Then they do an episode of Wife Swap. That causes problems in their marriage, so they see Dr. Phil. They can’t work it out, so they go Divorce Court. The husband doesn’t like the settlement, so he kidnaps the kid and is on America’s Most Wanted. He’s caught and his trial is on Court TV. He mysteriously dies in prison, and his case is featured on Autopsy. Finally, the couple’s life is made into a Lifetime movie.

Did I miss anything?