Jessica Simpson feels like everybody is out to get her. Not everybody Jess– just straight guys (you’re on the rebound, remember?).
- Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe are giving their marriage another chance because they don’t want to divide up their pets. It was hard enough explaining to them that "daddy won’t be sleeping over anymore."
- Robert Downey Jr. thinks they should remake Weird Science. And by "they" he means anybody who will hire him.
- Fall Out Boy have been playing secret shows under the pseudonym Saved Latin, proving that No, Fall Out Boy is NOT the worst band name they can come up with.
- Mischa Barton’s boyfriend Cisco Adler asks: "Has Paris nothing better to do than party and row with people?" The short answer? Well… no. She doesn’t.
- James Blunt has become the first Brit to reach #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart since Elton John. Somewhere in England, Robbie WIlliams cuts himself just a little.
On Sunday, things weren’t going too well for the gorgeous Stacy Keibler. She was the first celebrity elimanted from the Dancing With The Stars finale, and by all accounts her recent run at fame seemed to be over. But then something incredible happened. At almost the exact same time, everybody in the country realized how unbelievably good looking she is. And since we all came to that realization, Stacy has been all over the web.
You really can’t avoid Stacy this week. The photographs taken of Stacy at Wednesday’s GM fashion show were the best pictures taken this side of Lindsay’s nipple. Disgrunteled fans are calling for a dance-off against Jerry Rice. And gossip blogs like The Bastardly are just looking for excuses to post pictures of her… in a good way! She’s the anti-Fergie!
And the best part about Stacy possibly having the best week ever? It gives me an excuse to google image search for her hours to try to decide which picture to use for this post. Thank you Stacy. Thank you.
Some poor 20 year-old college student learned a very important lesson today when he made the mistake of sending comedian/reality star Joe Rogan the following MySpace message:
"Joe Rogan, I hate you…you’re not funny…"
This message, the type one imagines most every public figure receives countless times daily, apparently caused something to snap inside Rogan, as the Fear Factor host launched into an increasingly brutal series of back-and forth "You’re lame! No, you’re lame!" MySpace messages.
A few things I learned: 1) Joe Rogan is richer and more successful than the college student. 2) Joe Rogan was a kickboxing champion. 3) Never – EVER – send a nasty MySpace message to Joe Rogan.
Read the entire unedited textual maiming after the jump.
- Cheryl loved riding her Dancing with the Stars partner Drew Lachey so much, she’d like to try his brother out.
- Jessica’s two men, Adam Levine and Nick Lachey, cross paths, don’t notice.
- Christian Slater refuses to take of his hat because of a lousy haircut. They accidentally shaved off his hairline.
- Vote Donald Trump for President, not pedro.
- Superman’s Brandon Routh to be honored at Showest. Shouldn’t he do something first?
- America loves The Simpsons. So-so about the First Amendment.
Match the nominee to a little-known fact (answers after the jump):
1. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) 2. Charlize Theron (North Country) 3. Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents) 4. Keira Knightley (Pride & Prejudice) 5. Felicity Huffman (Transamerica)
A. She was to play "Grizabella" in CATS, but an ailment forced her out.
B. Nickname is Little Miss Type A.
C. Her dream came true when she got to sing backup to her idol Tina Turner on Oprah.
D. She has dyslexia and had to wear special glasses in adolescence to help her read.
E. After moving to Hollywood, she became furious when she learned that
the bank could not cash a check because it was an out-state check.
She made a scene, and an agent gave her his card.
Prove it. Email your submissions to BWEphotoshopContest@gmail.com. We’ll be posting our favorites next week, and awarding a prize to the best of the best.
Now get your Paul Scheer heads here, and get to work. May the best photoshopper win.
We just put a bunch of videos up at our YouTube group, including outtakes, Martha vs. The Donald, Cheney’s Smoking Gun and so much more! But don’t forget today’s Daily Danza. Join the group and you’ll get updates every time we put videos up.
We know you were swept away by the romance of the Bachelor: Paris Finale. From the moment Travis Stork, the handsome MD from Tennessee chose the handsome Sarah Stone, a kindergarten teacher also from Tennessee, we knew they’d be together forever. They built bonds that couldn’t be broken on their group dates. And experienced a chemistry that no one could match that night alone with only the Bob and Tim–the camera guys– to share their ecstasy. Travis even gave her a ring-necklace as a symbol of his undying like. So could it be true that Sarah is dating some one else? How could she just throw away their future of passion, product endorsements and at home spreads in In Touch Weekly? She must not know what really love is.
Comedian Dane Cook has signed a multi-project deal with HBO to develop series, specials and other projects. [continue reading]
You can click the link to learn more, or you can just wait until Dane posts a MySpace bulletin about this. Because you know he will. Come on. You know he will.
Well, this is good news for comedy fans. I think Dane has what it takes to put together a good show. In fact, I’m calling it right now: whatever Dane Cook ends up doing for HBO, you’ll be hearing white guys in buttoned down shirts quoting it instantaneously.
You’ve been warned.
Guests on today’s Tony Danza Show: a lemur, a penguin and a venomous snake. Take that Ellen!