Ozzy Osbourne has offered to save Pete Doherty from his drug addiction. While the aging rocker is famous for his bouts with excessive booze and drugs, he’s reportedly cleaned up his act in the past few years thanks to a radical detox treatment, more powerful than any rehab center or methadone clinic. His secret? wife Sharon. Ozzy claims Sharon is great at cleaning up drug-addled rockers and he really thinks Doherty should give her a try. He also mentioned his price is negotiable.
Yesterday we learned the dangers of talking bad about Joe Rogan on his MySpace page. But of course, Joe isn’t the first person to get dragged into a flame war, and I’ve collected five of my favorite online battles from the past:
- The Grungies This was an email exchange between Judd Apatow (Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared) and Mark Brazill (That ’70s Show). Brazill was angry about something to do with Topher Grace, but then he accuses Apatow of stealing one of his ideas. Best quote: Get cancer.
- The Bla Bla Bla: William Korman got angry at Dianna L. Abdala because she notified him by e-mail that she didn’t want to work for him. Her reason: ”The pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living." Best quote: bla bla bla
- The Ham Sandwich Two secretaries lost their jobs because they got into an online fight about a ham sandwich. Best quote: Let’s not get person [sic] "Miss Can’t Keep A Boyfriend".
Don’t forget to join our YouTube group, because you’ve been forgetting things lately. Things like joining stuff.
- POET: Jessica Simpson. She has been writing poetry since her breakup with Nick Lachey and plans to publish her work. (Contact Music)
- THE OTHER SHOE FALLING: Producers of Crash. Now that the movie is being recognized by the Academy, everyone’s fighting for the credit and money. (New York Times)
- MOVIE MADE IN TWO HOURS AND FOURTEEN MINUTES: Atbhutam. An Indian film maker finished the 74-minute feature, loosely based on Terri Schiavo’s right-to-die battle, in 2:14. (Reuters)
- PEZ DISPENSER: Brokeback Mountain. (Ebay via D Listed)
- THURSDAY PIE BLOGGING FROM AN
OBSOLETESTILL THRIVING BLOG: Greenwoodâ€™s Holy Sh*t Chocolate by Gawd Cream Pie (Blog d’Elisson)
- IRONIC HEIMLICH: John Giannetti. The state senator saved the life of a choking man who turned out to be his political rival, Jim Rosapepe. (CNN)
- K-FED HEAD SHAKER: "My wife is fat" edition. Britney was out the other night and this is reportedly what a waiter said: "I’m sorry, Ms. Spears, but your husband called here a few minutes ago and told us you weren’t allowed to have dessert. In fact, we’ve been told that no one at the table can have dessert–because you’ll eat it." This can’t be true. Please tell me this can’t be true. (I Don’t Like You That Way)
Jessica Simpson feels like everybody is out to get her. Not everybody Jess– just straight guys (you’re on the rebound, remember?).
- Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe are giving their marriage another chance because they don’t want to divide up their pets. It was hard enough explaining to them that "daddy won’t be sleeping over anymore."
- Robert Downey Jr. thinks they should remake Weird Science. And by "they" he means anybody who will hire him.
- Fall Out Boy have been playing secret shows under the pseudonym Saved Latin, proving that No, Fall Out Boy is NOT the worst band name they can come up with.
- Mischa Barton’s boyfriend Cisco Adler asks: "Has Paris nothing better to do than party and row with people?" The short answer? Well… no. She doesn’t.
- James Blunt has become the first Brit to reach #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart since Elton John. Somewhere in England, Robbie WIlliams cuts himself just a little.
On Sunday, things weren’t going too well for the gorgeous Stacy Keibler. She was the first celebrity elimanted from the Dancing With The Stars finale, and by all accounts her recent run at fame seemed to be over. But then something incredible happened. At almost the exact same time, everybody in the country realized how unbelievably good looking she is. And since we all came to that realization, Stacy has been all over the web.
You really can’t avoid Stacy this week. The photographs taken of Stacy at Wednesday’s GM fashion show were the best pictures taken this side of Lindsay’s nipple. Disgrunteled fans are calling for a dance-off against Jerry Rice. And gossip blogs like The Bastardly are just looking for excuses to post pictures of her… in a good way! She’s the anti-Fergie!
And the best part about Stacy possibly having the best week ever? It gives me an excuse to google image search for her hours to try to decide which picture to use for this post. Thank you Stacy. Thank you.
Some poor 20 year-old college student learned a very important lesson today when he made the mistake of sending comedian/reality star Joe Rogan the following MySpace message:
"Joe Rogan, I hate you…you’re not funny…"
This message, the type one imagines most every public figure receives countless times daily, apparently caused something to snap inside Rogan, as the Fear Factor host launched into an increasingly brutal series of back-and forth "You’re lame! No, you’re lame!" MySpace messages.
A few things I learned: 1) Joe Rogan is richer and more successful than the college student. 2) Joe Rogan was a kickboxing champion. 3) Never – EVER – send a nasty MySpace message to Joe Rogan.
Read the entire unedited textual maiming after the jump.
- Cheryl loved riding her Dancing with the Stars partner Drew Lachey so much, she’d like to try his brother out.
- Jessica’s two men, Adam Levine and Nick Lachey, cross paths, don’t notice.
- Christian Slater refuses to take of his hat because of a lousy haircut. They accidentally shaved off his hairline.
- Vote Donald Trump for President, not pedro.
- Superman’s Brandon Routh to be honored at Showest. Shouldn’t he do something first?
- America loves The Simpsons. So-so about the First Amendment.
Match the nominee to a little-known fact (answers after the jump):
1. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) 2. Charlize Theron (North Country) 3. Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents) 4. Keira Knightley (Pride & Prejudice) 5. Felicity Huffman (Transamerica)
A. She was to play "Grizabella" in CATS, but an ailment forced her out.
B. Nickname is Little Miss Type A.
C. Her dream came true when she got to sing backup to her idol Tina Turner on Oprah.
D. She has dyslexia and had to wear special glasses in adolescence to help her read.
E. After moving to Hollywood, she became furious when she learned that
the bank could not cash a check because it was an out-state check.
She made a scene, and an agent gave her his card.
Prove it. Email your submissions to BWEphotoshopContest@gmail.com. We’ll be posting our favorites next week, and awarding a prize to the best of the best.
Now get your Paul Scheer heads here, and get to work. May the best photoshopper win.