Wednesday Morning Quick Hits

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Insidefantastic4alba

Depeche
Mode

   fans who pre-order the group’s new album on-line will get priority
when it comes to buying tickets
for their upcoming tour and may be able
to convince Depeche Mode to play their living room on their upcoming tour. Okay I may have lied about that last part.

Grateful Dead tour bus for sale. $200,000 price includes bonus of
enough of Jerry Garcia’s DNA in the seat cushions to make 47 copies of
him.

Man accused of trying to kidnap David Letterman‘s son charged with a slightly lesser crime,  overcharging for house-painting services.

Clooney
and Pitt can’t get a ride, pays a kid $1823 for a lift to New York City. I would have traded Pitt a ride for a ride.

Neve Campbell not going to star in Scream 4. Common sense scores rare victory.

Jessica Alba launches line of kids clothing. Your toddler wants a push-up bra.

Natalie Portman discovers lesbians find bald girls attractive. ha. um…Not going to touch this one. Nope.

Man swigs a Mountain Dew, is surprised to discover he is drinking mellow yellow.

Skeletor holds up bank. He-man surrenders.

Tuesday Afternoon Quick Hits

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NY Times Magazine to begin running comics.  Ah, Ziggy, will you ever win?

WWSBD? Scott Baio replaces Henry Winkler on Arrested Development, Willie Ames just happy to be losing weight.

Heidi Klum continues to contribute to the animal kingdom with birthing another baby seal. PETA is very proud.

Birds of a feather flock together: Jacko to do Katrina benefit song
with fellow drug and plastic surgery enthusiasts Mariah Carey and James
Brown.

Shirley Temple to receive the Screen Actors Guild’s Life Achievement Award. In other news, Shirley Temple is still alive.

Matt Damon is reportedly engaged.  In a surprise twist, Ben Affleck reportedly not the blushing bride
                            MATT DAMON!

If you were in London and thought that you saw Madonna and Guy Ritchie
having a food fight
in a Moroccan restaurant, you were right.

Smiths to hang in National Gallery. Hang, hang, hang, hang. Hang by their necks in the pitiful place.

David Banner to do hurricane benefit concert.  You better buy tickets or he’ll turn green and smash stuff.

 

Leslie and the Lys: “Gold Pants Live”

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First there was Star Wars. Then The Lord of the Rings.
Now the Gem Sweater trilogy reaches its climactic end. Leslie and her
Lys are back one last time to rock the mic live to thank her mama for
making her gold pants.

  See how the phenom started with the original Gem Sweater and rocked on in Beat Dazzler.

Gold pants have never been rocked so hard before. Ever.[watch now]

The birth of Frodo

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Those of you questioning Elijah Wood’s sexual preference can stop right now. Click the picture to see what exactly that is. Any joke to be made here would be too offensive so we will let you do it.[NSFW CityRag Link]

Tuesday Morning Quick Hits

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Mrtsombrero1

Homosexual cowboy movie coming to theaters soon, to finally answer question "Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?"

I pity the fool who wont watch this show. Mr. T is the new Oprah.

Matthew McConaughey, everyone’s favorite stoned bongo player, shares
his art onstage at John Mellencamp concert
; keeps his pants on this time.

Paul McCartney’s
latest solo album called his best since the breakup of
The Beatles.
By best, they mean the fact that the first single is
already a corporate jingle.

Bill Cosby makes hey hey hey over Fat Albert domain name, wins legal battle.

Leonardo DiCaprio to play Teddy Roosevelt in upcoming film. Hollywood may not be out of ideas, but they’re out of good ones.

If you notice SNL sucking more than usual this fall it’s because Tina Fey will be busy being a MILF.

Contestant on new Trump "Apprentice" is an Eastern European stripper
who bilked some guy out of lots of money. Sounds more like one of
Donald’s wives.

Screw you guys, I’m going to Broadway: Trey Parker and Matt Stone to pen musical.