HEADLINE: "Jessica Alba officially sexy" – Who knew? (Female First)
DISTURBING CATCHPHRASE: "Fixin’ to do an R. Kelly" (All Headline News)
DISTURBING R. KELLY ACOLYTE: This complete weirdo who "hides in bathrooms, and drinks people’s urine." (NBC4 – if you’re brave enough)
EMERGED CAVE DWELLER: Illinois Governor – and apparently his staff – who didn’t realize The Daily Show was a comedy spoof. (AP)
ROCK STARS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS: "Crack makes me happy," said addled rocker Pete Doherty. Yes, Pete – it makes you happy because IT’S CRACK! (Mirror)
EMBRACING YOUR OWN STEREOTYPE: Some pothead forgot to address a package he mailed containing half a pound of weed. Might wanna lay of the doobage there, bro. (AP)
RANDOM BLOG: The Sound of Young America (TSOYA)
SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "Live like you mean it…" Or like a douche. Either way, Eddie. (MySpace)
One of these people is "the man formerly known as Wladimiro Guadagno, the organizer of Italyâ€™s gay pride parades and star of an upcoming film [who] wants to be taken seriousâ€¦as a real-life politician for Italyâ€™s main communist party." One is a movie star who has been married to Bruce Willis. Can you tell which is which?
Can’t get enough of the Olympics? Well, that makes 1 of you. Either way, you have to check out this hilarious David Wain video. You’ll learn more about death cookies and peely snow than you ever thought you would. You’ll see.
According to Yahoo!, the Sex Pistols will not show up for their induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Here’s what John Lydon wrote (and scanned) to the Filth and the Fury:
Next to the SEX PISTOLS rock and roll and that hall of fame is a piss stain. Your museum. Urine in wine. Were not coming. Were not your monkey and so what? Fame at $25,000 if we paid for a table, or $15,000 to squeak up in the gallery, goes to a non-profit organisation selling us a load of old famous. Congratulations.
I love a load of old famous myself, but I respect his position.
It’s time once again to play everybody’s favorite online game revolving around celebrities and their blogs… Guess Who! I’m going to put a couple of lines from a celebrity blog, and you’re going to have to try to guess who said it. The answer is after the jump. So, you think you’re ready? Here we go:
Anyone can funk and go to war, we all got soldiers but it takes real
men to make peace. Peace may not sell these squares’ magazines but it
can save a community and bring prosperity to our people.
a) Rosie O’Donnell
b) Serj Tankian (from System of A Down)
c) Anderson Cooper
d) MC Hammer
The always-amusing Worth 1000 site has launched a new contest called "Mate-A-Movie", inviting their best choppers to combine the posters of two iconic films. Hilarity ensues:
Baby needs a new pair of shoes! By the way, have you signed our Save Danza petition?
The lead singer of U2 has just been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize– which means he can finally wrap up all of his humanitarian work now that he’s got his point across. Bono, who’s worked tirelessly to prove to the world that he’s a great guy, deserves this medal more than competitors Rudolph Giuliani and Indonesian President Yudhoyono who have been preoccupied organizing peace deals in disaster-ravaged regions of the world.