Vice President Dick "Buckshot" Cheney kept his word to the inmates at California’s maximum security Folsom State Prison. He played a one hour set with his band "Dickie and The Trigger Happy Birdie Killers". The set received a luke warm reception until Cheney launched into his new, as yet unreleased, single "Go F***Yourself". During the guitar solo the Vice President thrilled the assembled audience by producing a rifle and opening fire. "He seems angry. Very angry" one inmate said "I mean, I always thought that the American people didn’t like to vote for angry people but…Man, that dude is angry!" I managed to obtain a tape of the performance and am proud to present it here….
Okay, I realize I’ve posted a lot about Dick Cheney this week… some might say I’ve made more bad Dick jokes than Jay Leno… but cut me some slack, it’s not every day the Vice President shoots a man in the face. At least, I don’t think it is. We’ll never really know.
I need help again. How many times have you heard in a movie: That’s crazy. So crazy, it just might work! Okay, you don’t here that many times any more, but I was thinking, What are some actual things that were so crazy that they worked? I’ll start: Ashlee Simpson. Not particularly talented, not particularly pretty, already has a famous sister (who is talented and pretty). You would have to be crazy to think you could make her a star. But lo and behold, she’s a big star and has even appeared on the covers of fashion magazines. So what else can you think of that was so crazy that it worked?
If anyone managed to catch MTV’s Fat Camp, a reality show that takes place over a summer at a Poconos weight loss camp, you may have noticed it’s hard to be fat and in high school. But it’s even harder when you have a camera following you around when you’re getting undressed.
In last night’s MTV special, the directors and producers got a little too documentary-style when it came to profiling these obese kids. They featured lots of unflattering bathing suit shots, followed one heavy-set girl around while she was buck naked and employed the Celebrity Fit Club method of weight loss display, dressing the kids in skivvies to reveal their bulging bodies before and after. All in all, pretty much a fat high school kid’s worst nightmare.
While the show taught me that fat kids have the same problems as skinny kids (except they’re also fat), it seems that these kids now have another problem: the whole world has seen them half-naked. MTV just may have guaranteed these kids a year’s worth of painful, public wedgies.
REASON TO ASSUME THAT J.J. ABRAMS IS CRAZY: He doesn’t think Tom Cruise is crazy (SciFiWire)
REASONS NOT TO SMOKE: Employers hit smokers in the wallet (CNN); California city passes no smoking outside (The Acorn)
REASON NOT TO WATCH PORN: Kid Rock & Scott Stapp… together at last (The Bastardly)
REASON FOR GEEKS TO PICK UP THE NEW MAXIM: Veronica Mars, naturally (Maxim Online) ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE JILL SOBULE BESIDES THE FACT SHE ‘KISSED A GIRL’: Her Dick Cheney hunting song (The Huffington Post)
After over ten years of waiting for the next Guns N’ Roses album, it’s impossible to hear the words "Chinese Democracy" without thinking about Chinese Democracy. And without thinking about how bat-s*** crazy Axl has gone, and without thinking about that dude who joined the band that wore a KFC Bucket of chicken on his head.
But anyway, all signs are pointing to Axl Rose FINALLY unleashing Chinese Democracy onto the general (American) public. First up there was a rumor that it was going to be released this spring. Nobody got too excited though, because just like leap year that rumor pops up once every four years. No big deal. But then today… today we took another step closer to Democracy. Two previously unreleased tracks leaked onto the internet today, one of which you can find HERE (for the time being, at least).
Download it and let me know what you think. Are you glad they’re back, or would you have been content just listening to the new Velvet Revolver?
This morning, Tom Cruise was attending media mogul Kerry Packer’s funeral alone. Katie planned to stay behind to avoid the 14-hour flight so late in her pregnancy. But now, popsugar has pictures of the happy couple in the land down under.
While we understand how important it was to be there for Tom during this difficult time of media skepticism, we’re not sure if it was the best idea.
According to WebMD: "Pregnant women should avoid air travel after their 36th week….Frequent flying is not recommended as it is possible for you to exceed the cosmic radiation limit considered safe during pregnancy."
On the other hand, cosmic radaition is how Katie got pregant in the first place.