Dial A for Awkward

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Jennifer_aniston_phone

Jennifer Aniston decided over the Christmas period…it being the season of goodwill and all to call up her ex-husband Brad Pitt.

She dialled his cell phone only to have his new love, Angelina Jolie answer the phone for him. [keep reading]

It gets better. Apparently Angelina dropped the "I’m pregnant with Brad’s baby" bomb on Mrs Ms. Aniston during their little conversation.  Jennifer responded, "Oh yeah… well… people used to like having the same haircut as me" before abruptly hanging up and falling into the arms of Vince Vaughn. Who, the last time I checked, was a pretty big step down from Brad Pitt. Happy Holidays Jennifer. Happy holidays.

Click here in case you need proof that Vince Vaughn is no Brad Pitt. See?

The Best of Lohan

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Vf_lohan

The fine folks over at Popsugar have compiled a list of the best quotes from Lindsay Lohan’s new Vanity Fair interview. Check it out here. These are my personal favorites:

  • “Don’t ever say this to me, ‘Are you O.K.?’ It’s like Yeah, motherf*****, I’m fine.”
  • "I saw that S.N.L. after I did it. My arms were disgusting. I had no arms.”
  • When reached for comment, the guy from the movie Kids responded, "I have no legs/ I have no legs."

    Since Lindsay admits in her interview that she’s attracted to "the ones I probably shouldn’t like," I’m thinking they might be a perfect match. There’s your next Hollywood power couple, people.

    Lindsay Lohan Potentially Not Eating For Two

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    From The BWE Mailbox.

    EXCLUSIVE: Pregnancy Test and overnight bags delivered to Lindsay Lohan in hospital.

    A friend of Lindsay Lohan returns to Mount Sinai Medical Center with some shopping including a Pregnancy Test. The woman left the hospital in the early hours of Wednesday with Lindsay Lohan’s limo driver. She returned to the Emergency Department at 1:30 am with several overnight bags and food shopping including a Pregnancy test, Playing cards, mouthwash, Coke, and a box of Cocoa Puffs. The friend declined to comment on Lindsay’s condition.

    Don’t worry people. The word Coke is capitalized.

    BWE Ringtones

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    Okay, it’s time to lose that ridiculous "My Humps" ringtone and UPGRADE to a BWE tone. Be the first person on your block with Sherrod Small in your pants. Okay, well, actually Sherrod gets around, so you might not be the first…

    Cellphone

    Either way, download these brand new ringtones by Sherrod Small and Paul Scheer here. That way, you can have the Best Week Ever.

    Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

    Oh, and while you’re fancy-ing up your phone, sign up for BWE Mobile alerts too. That way you can have the… yeah. You get it.

    S.O.B’s

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    Bluths

    Did you see Monday’s episode of Arrested Development? If you’re an average American, probably not. That’s why it’s YOUR fault the show is going to be cancelled. The rest of us hate you.

    If you DID see it, you’d know it was by far the funniest half hour on television this year. All 4 days of this year. They pulled out all the stops: 3-D glasses, celebrity cameos, an unexpected death (I won’t ruin it for you by telling you who died). Meanwhile, the entire thing was a big F-U to FOX. Just incredible.

    Unfortunately, chances are it was the last episode of AD to air on the FOX network. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help. Save the page www.savethebluths.org and check back for updates. Hopefully it works out better than the old www.saveourbluths.com page.

    Listen to Ron Howard: Please tell your friends about this show.

    Best Vacation Ever

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    Angelina_jolie_9

    In Case You Missed it, it was decided by YOU, the viewers at home, that the one and only Angelina Jolie had the Best Year Ever.

    I need to know: what do you think? Did she deserve it? Was Kanye robbed? I’m sure he thinks so. What about Tyra? Or cheaters? Or Weathermen? Do you think Angelina had a better year than all of them? I want to hear your thoughts.

    Speaking of Best Year Ever, (this sentence is going to be weird, get ready) Best Week Ever had the Best Year Ever. So after working hard for nearly 52 best weeks in a row, we’re taking some time off. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean you should go far. You can still check out Bestweekever.Vh1.com for daily updates, and when we come back next month we’re going to have an all new, bigger and better Blog. So get ready.

    And that’s that. In the words of Kristin from Laguna Beach, this post is dunzo. See ya soon.

    Best Year Ever! Tonight @11

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    Best_year_ever_2

    From TomKat to Brangelina. From MJ to R. Kelly. From Paris to Lindsay and from Nick to Jessica, 2005 was THE BEST YEAR EVER.

    Tune in tonight at 11 a nd all weekend long to find out who had THE BEST YEAR EVER! Hey, maybe it was you.

    Comedians on 2005

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    Pete_holmes

    In preparation for Last Laugh ’05, CC Insider has asked a bunch of comedians to talk about the year that was. Our own Pete Holmes had this to say about his favorite video of the year.

    "I have to give it up for R. Kelly’s unintentionally hilarious ‘Trapped in the Closet,’ specifically the part where a pie-eating midget poops his little-person purple pantaloons. My favorite thing is that ‘midget’ is an offensive and outdated term, but R. Kelly uses it freely, presumably because it rhymes with ‘Bridget,’ the midget’s not-so-little secret lover. I guess it’s because nothing rhymes with ‘Little Person,’ except maybe Elle McPherson or ‘Brittle Person.’

    Read the rest of Pete’s take on R. Kelly, as well as pieces by Sarah Silverman and Lisa Lampanelli here.

    And here’s Part I of Comedians on 2005. What a year. What a year.

    What’s Wrong With Mariah?

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    Mariah_1

    Ohmygod, is Mariah okay? I mean, she has somebody holding a cup up and putting a straw in her mouth, surely something’s wrong. Maybe she’s severely injured. Maybe she’s paralyzed. Maybe she’s… oh wait.

    The singer — famous for her outrageous demands — stunned fans by being too lazy to lift the cup herself. A brunette assistant had to perform the task at
    regular intervals while the singer signed copies of her album The
    Emancipation of Mimi.

    Okay, nevermind. Everything’s fine. Mariah’s juuuuust fine. Nothing wrong with her at all. Carry on.

    The Superficial