Paris Victimized Again

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Parishiltoncell

It’s been reported that Paris Hilton’s tapes, computers and photographs have been stolen. The immensely private actress has long been a victim of theft and exploitation.

One can only hope that brave Hilton has the ability to turn this tragedy into something positive. (thanks Jossip)

Truckers Say No to Coke

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Coke

According to CNN, truckers are not too happy about a new commercial for Full Throttle:

Truckers want Coca-Cola to slam the brakes on a planned Super Bowl ad for its Full Throttle energy drink…. Trade publication Advertising Age says the ad also shows the Full Throttle truck tailgating and forcing a smaller vehicle — adorned with the rival Red Bull logo — off the main road Graves’ statement said the ad "will reinforce and help perpetuate a negative stereotype that the trucking industry and our professional drivers have fought long and hard to overcome."

You’d think that truckers would be behind this new product, considering how much Coke has done for them over the years.

Today In Celebrity Conception

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Scarykelly

Twenty-two  years ago today, Ozzy Osbourne took a break from urinating on historic monuments and biting the heads off of helpless animals to do what he does best: get down and dirty with his wife Sharon. The result? Daughter Kelly, born October 27, 1984.

Maybe it was the thought of a little groundhog emerging from a hole that turned the Ozzman on. Or maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger’s rippling muscles in The Terminator, the number one movie that weekend. Or maybe… just maybe… the Prince of Darkness had a soft spot for Billy Ocean’s hit single "Caribbean Queen" and just couldn’t contain himself when it came on the radio.

Well, whatever the case may be, Mr. & Mrs. Osbourne got the ball rolling on giving baby Jack a little sister today. The worlds of reality TV and really bad pop music should take a moment to say ‘thanks.’

This Day Last Year

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Biggoodbye1

  • Star Trek stayed on the air, saving the earth from destruction from the Klingons.
  • Word was that Kate Moss and Pete Doherty were breaking up. Luckily that wasn’t true, and they are now healthy and happy with a little one on the way. Pete says they’re going to name the baby Data, after this guy who helped them with their relationship.
  • It was reported that not only were Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake getting married, but that she was going to wear a traditional Native American dress. A month later, she was married by a priest named Father Picard.
  • We found out that Martha Stewart would host her own version of The Apprentice, which would go on to be the biggest hit of all time, introducing the world to her new catch phrase, “Make it so.”
  • Finally, it was announced that Star Trek: Enterprise would be canceled, ending Star Trek’s 18 year run on television. There were also reports that a Klingon ship along with three versions of the Enterprise from different eras appeared in the sky. It was presumed that they had come from the future to rescue the earth. If true, this might have some effect on the outcomes listed in this post.

Journalistic Liberties

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50centorangeplaylist2

An imtimate profile of 50 cent, in the British rag Female First, reveals a kinship with Oliver Twist.

Says the platinum selling rapper about his gritty upbringing, "Every time I saw my mum it was like Christmas, you know…It was always just me and my mum."

Kudos to the publication for exposing the real side of little Curtis Jackson. 

Jodie Sweetin’s Dark Crystal

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Ap_jodiesweetin

Our favorite recovering meth-addict and Full House child star was on Good Morning America to discuss her struggles with addiction.

Here are the Cliff Notes: She started using because she was bored, was leading requisite "double-life," Bob Sagat and the Olsen Twins were at her intervention, has been clean since march, is divorcing her police officer husband rendering her officially ON THE MARKET.

Watch out Jodie, you’ve got a lot of admirers.

CORN FLAKES: Your Essential Inessentials

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Braffmoore

  • Zach Braff has proposed to girlfriend Mandy Moore. Sources say that the couple will be married to the life-changing music of The Shins.  Also, someone seems to be taking the show Entourage just a little too seriously…
  • Disgraced non-fiction fiction writer James Frey has been dropped by his agent.  Next up for the great Frey-bang of 2006 – his parents plan to publicly renounce him as their child.
  • "Man" who says he has "proof" that he had "gay sex" with Clay Aiken will tell his "story" to Howard Stern.  Aiken will probably be too busy having hot heterosexual sex with lots and lots of women to even notice. 
  • Kate Moss blew out of Britain on Thursday, only 48 hours after being questioned by police over allegations that she used cocaine.  As she was boarding the plane, she reportedly turned and shouted, "Mwaaaah, you’ll never catch me, coppers!"
  • After being criticized for his insensitive treatment of gay contestants, American Idol judge Simon Cowell is now under fire from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance, who are irate with his treatment of overweight people.  Next up: Simon dismisses a contestant for being "too black".