To Whom It May Concern:
Over the course of the past few days, we have received numerous reports, most of which stem from a passage in this news story, indicating that Paris Hilton has herpes. We would like to officially go on record as saying that these rumors are completely and absolutely false.
As our reputation seems to be soiled hourly by members of the press, it seems just cruel to further tarnish our name with sensational hearsay such as this. We aren’t as bad as everyone thinks, and we wish you would all stop making up these lies about us. So, to set the record straight once and for all: WE DO NOT HAVE PARIS HILTON. That’s just disgusting.
Police in Bothell, Washington are "searching for an armed robbery suspect who was described by victims as looking like actor Tom Cruise." The suspect, who is reportedly "handsome and friendly" held up a video store at gunpoint and is still on the loose.
While police assume it’s just a Tom Cruise look alike, let’s examine the facts. Tom wasn’t at the Oscars, in fact the last time he was spotted in public was in Tahiti a few weeks ago. In the meantime, Cruise has had a crappy week with ex-wife Nicole’s engagement and girlfriend Katie Holmes’s new-found friendship with ex Chris Klein. And he’s not just losing control over the women in his life, he’s also losing his power in Hollywood (see Razzies, Poll). Could all this pressure be driving Tom to a life of crime? Or is this just another thing people do when they’re totally, madly in love?
We’re all still mourning the loss of our beloved Edgar Stiles on 24. The man. The myth. The legend.
Spoiler Alert, by the way (if you haven’t seen it yet).
The folks over at TVGasm haven’t recovered either. It turns out they go way back with Edgar… or "Nugget", as they called him.
I don’t think Iâ€™m a lone in having years of good memories with and
about Nugget. I’d like to invite each of you to share your special
memories old or new of time you had with Edgar. I think when these
stories come together, we will all have a better understanding of who
Edgar Stiles was, and his family will see how much joy he brought to
Please leave your memories below.
So go ahead. Click here to say your goodbyes. I’ll provide you the link, but you have to provide your own tissues.
Maybe you recognize him from Mr. Show, or perhaps Tenacious D. Or even the movie Anchorman. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve noticed a man in a suit on a show called Best Week Ever. One way or another, I’m guessing you know Paul F. Tompkins.
Check out this great Onion A.V. Club interview, where Paul talks about everything from the Aspen Comedy Festival to alternative comedy to BWE. Unfortunately, the one question that I wanted answered that wasn’t asked: how many suits does he own? Maybe next interview.
I hope I’m not the only one watching Bravo’s new reality show Top Chef. Combining elements of pretty much every other reality show in history (probably best described as Project Runway meets The Apprentice by way of The Real World), Top Chef is a must-watch. Here’s a great clip from last night’s episode, where Irishman Ken gets a little too mouthy with the master chef – and his sauce:
It’s being reported that inexplicable stud Adam Levine recently dumped hot rebound girl Jessica Simpson via text message. Ouch, that’s GOT to hurt. According to tabloids, Levine’s message was only four words: "Really Busy. Need Space."
Ah yes, a text message break-up classic. Just goes to show you that even a universally desired mega-star like Jessica Simpson isn’t immune to the flighty whims of a man with so little time and so many people to do.
We’ve discovered a few other break-up text messages Adam considered sending:
- Thx 4 the @ss…FU…LOL
- 3way w/ Ash?
- Srsly, U R gettin annoying.
- I M Gay.
- Maroon 5 Rulez. Nick Lachey droolz.
- 2 Many Daddy Issues. C U L8r.
- Paris, It’s Adam. Hurts when I pee.
In this case, DWI stands for ‘Driving While Idiotic." From togawp.com:
A well-lubricated Tara Reid was seen outside of Dennis Rodman‘s Newport Beach house on Wednesday morning, paying off a local resident after slamming into their car.
According to our eyewitness, Ms. Reid’s "pupils were clearly dialated, fow what reason I don’t know." After exiting their respective vehicles, Tara told the owner of the other vehicle that she "didn’t want to deal with insurance," and promptly handed the gentleman $700 dollars to "forget it ever happened."
Alex mentioned this yesterday, but I just had to add three things. 1) Tara Reid and Dennis Rodman??? This woman has officially nailed the entire C-List. Congratulations. You get a crate of Redbull and Parliaments for your hard week. 2) I never want to see the words "well lubricated" and "Tara Reid" in the same sentence ever again. Please? And 3) Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that this isn’t Tara’s first "here’s a few hundred bucks, keep your mouth shut" transaction the morning after a long night of partying? Call it a hunch.
These days everyone loves the American version of The Office so much they’re forgetting the original version came from across the pond. So to even the score, the Brits have taken an American TV creation and made it their own.
Check out the British Apprentice. The show, which takes place in London, has the same premise as the original and the same six figure salary grand prize. But instead of The Donald, they’ve got Sir Alan Sugar– a British entrepreneur with a net worth of 800 million pounds and a business selling "set top boxes and personal video recorders." Any guesses as what will replace Trump’s trademarked "You’re Fired"? How about "My good boy, you’ve been cordially asked to leave."