8 Minute Abs-olutely Fabulous!

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From the Press Gazette:

Men’s Health magazine has put one of its own writers on the cover after readers complained that its six-packed cover stars presented an unrealistic goal for ordinary blokes.

I get the "exercise" thing, but does this also mean I have to start watching The L Word, shopping at French Connection and making catty comments during Academy Awards red carpet shows?

Ok, I admit it.  I’m bitter.

Beetlemania!!!

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According to the Wall Street Journal,  Good & Plenty candies, Dannon Boysenberry yogurt and Tropicana Ruby Red Grapefruit juice all contain crushed female beetles as an unlisted ingredient.

A moment of silence for those poor beetle women.

Hard News From CNN: Sex Tapes Good for Your Career

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From CNN:

In a Hollywood museum specializing in erotica, there lies a grainy tape of a woman having sex with a man on a couch. The museum says it’s widely believed, though denied by her estate, that the woman is Marilyn Monroe, circa 1948. Fast-forward some 60 years, past Rob Lowe and Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton. The latest celebrity sex tape contains 14 minutes of seriously hard-core action between actor Colin Farrell and a former Playboy Playmate, punctuated by dialogue like: "Where’s the zoom on this?" But like his predecessors in the genre, Farrell’s career is not likely to be harmed at all. In fact, it could even get bigger. It seems what we expect from our celebrities is radically different from what we expect from, say, our politicians. Or ourselves. "The public is very forgiving," says Kate White, editor-in-chief of Cosmpolitan. "And very intrigued. It’s not like, ‘Oh no Colin, not you!’"

Thank goodness we can rely on CNN for such penetrating analysis of this important issue.

Sizzler: F-U Bono!

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Ted Leo of Ted Leo & The Pharmacists fame is good at saying what’s on his mind. I mean, go listen to Shake The Sheets, the whole thing is a big F-U to our president (Mr. Leo isn’t a fan, naturally.) Well, today on his website, Ted turns his attention to a new enemy: Bono.

This is gonna be bad karma for me, so I’ll probably delete it soon, but I have to vent to somebody… So, I’m a fan of everything before "Rattle & Hum," and I’m a BIG fan of "The Unforgettable Fire." But I’m sitting here on the train watching "The New Order Story," from the DVD box set Santa brought me for Christmas, and there are a few moments of commentary from Señor Vox that I’ll refrain from chategorizing, lest I "lose my s***." But anyway, in one of them, he says "Ahh — the legendary voice! Ian Curtis!" Would have been embarrassing enough in an "obviuosness grasping at hipness" kind of way, but he has to go that one step further, HE ALWAYS HAS TO GO THAT ONE STEP FURTHER!!, and he starts singing "Love Will Tear us Apart"… WRONG. He sings:
Love, love will tear us apart…
Somedaaaay

Someday?
F*** you, Bono.

You hear that Bono, Ted Leo don’t like you! Fat chance he’ll let U2 open up for him on his next tour. Sorry buddy.

Sizzler: Jake Gyllenhaal and Sophia Bush?

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Egotastic has pics of the Brokeback Mountain star Jake Gyllenhaal chatting it up with One Tree Hill actress Sophia Bush at the local dog park.

Insert appropriate doggy-style jokes in the comments section. Extra points for including Chad Michael Murray.