Quick Hits

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Enriqueiglesias

It’s time to remember Pope John II in miniseries formJon Voight and some German dude star.  Two popes?  What is this Avignon? (yes, that’s the most intelligent joke you’re ever going to see here. don’t get used to it.)

Evidently hip hop has an “image” problem. That’s crazy. In other news, DMX is sentenced to 7 days in jail.   

Enrique Iglesias lashes back at rumors that he has a small penis.  Maybe he’s not the Hero that he claims to be.

Tara Reid might be dating Paris Latsis.  I’m guessing this is a bogus story because the source describes Reid as a “stunning actress.”

Shalom Muthaf****!

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Batmitvah

And here’s the new #1 thing I never thought I’d see in my lifetime: 50 Cent at a bat mitzvah.

Listen, my Bar Mitzvah was pretty cool. I had a DJ, dancers, games, prizes, and an open bar that I was too young to take advantage of. But this one totally trumps mine. 50 Cent, Aerosmith, Tom Petty… come on. That’s not fair.

Check out WWTDD for more pics. And don’t kvetch.

Christina Wedding Pics

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Christinaaguilerawedding03

Just Jared has more Christina Aguilera wedding photos than you can shake a stick at. Of course, I’m not sure why you would shake a stick at them… but hey, you can give it a shot. I won’t judge.

I like the new pretty, classy Christina. If she would have tied the knot during her dirrrty days she probably would have jumped into the cake naked and rubbed icing all over her body. On second thought…

Billy Joel’s WIFE needs to SHUT THE F UP!

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Billy_joel_wife

Ohhh, so there IS a downside to marrying a woman 1/2 your age.

Check out this craigslist post from a guy who supposedly had to listen to the Piano Man’s 26-year-old wife babble on and on and on during a recent appearance.

I can picture this guy sitting there, fuming, and silently wishing that only the good die younger.

Quick Hits

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Julia_roberts

Don’t worry people: Julia Roberts is still the highest paid actress in Hollywood.  And in other Roberts family news, Eric wants to know if he can borrow a couple of bucks.   

Gary Glitter may be shot by firing squad.  Naaaaaa Na Na Hey!! Na na na na na na.

“Pop Star” Anastacia would like to duet with Steven Tyler and Sting.  Meanwhile, Tyler and Sting would like to duet with Anastacia,…………..in her pants!      

Pierce Brosnan hates himself.  Experts trace this back to the “drive by fruiting” incident in Mrs. Doubtfire. 

Nick and Jessica never signed a pre-nup.  You can’t say Kanye didn’t warn you girl.    

Britney and Kevin have transformed their bedroom into a nativity with their kid playing baby Jesus.  And even more unbelievable: Kevin as a wise man.

Emma Watson is not even close

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Emmawatson4495ku

Listen perverts- even though the new Harry Potter movie is a little darker, and even though it deals with some adult themes, there’s something you have to keep in mind: young Hermoine is still off limits. You can use that tissue now to dry your tears.

Well, thankfully the people over at Yeeeah! were nice enough to create a Countdown to Legal Age meter for Emma Watson. So click here, and count down the seconds until April 15, 2008.

I told you– not even close. But hey, you can look on the bright side: at least you have 2 1/2 years to come up with a decent pickup line. Best of luck.

Global Warming is bad

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Ferrell_as_bush

Check out these clips from the Earth to America special and be reminded that global warming is bad and comedy is good. Especially comedy where Will Ferrell talks to us about global warming as President Bush.

Larry David explains how he went from narcissist to activist.

Bill Maher complains about people who don’t complain about global warming.

Robin Williams reminds us that there’s at least one thing worse than global warming (besides Patch Adams)

And The Blue Man Group freak us out about global warming.

Links provided by MilkandCookies.

Create Your Own Caption

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Teri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan share a goodbye kiss

Terinicolette_kiss

"And then in typical Housewives fashion, Marcia Cross and Eva Longoria desperately tried to one-up Teri and Nicolette by 69-ing ’til the sun came up."

Now you go.

(pic from A Socialite’s Life)

leaving with a laugh

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Lastlaugh_m5_logo

Comedy Central has announced the lineup for this year’s Last Laugh. You can read all about here at the CCInsider blog.

And, if you have any interest in watching two of the funniest videos on the internet right now, you might want to click here. These are from last year’s Last Laugh, so there’s a chance you’ve probably seen them before. They’re worth watching again.

Go here and watch Andy Dick’s Speechalist and Denis Leary paying up. Trust me.