a big show

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Sumo

Would you tell a guy who looks like this that he’s not having the Best Week Ever. I wouldn’t.

Well, check out BWE tonight. We have a guy from the World Sumo Challenge going one-on-one against our own heavyweight– Paul Scheer.

To find out more about Onipaa Paaaina and the World Sumo Challenge, click here!

WorldSumoChallenge.com

Steve Guttenberg’s MOVIE REVIEWS!

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Steve3_1 Hey guys!  Good ole’ Gute (pronounced Goot) here.  Just wrapped production of “Mojave Phonebooth.”  This is really the one that’s going to get my career back in the fast lane,  Dom DeLuise’s son is in it!  Look out for it in 2006! 

Its Friday, you know what that means: NEW MOVIES!

STAY

This one looks like it got more twists than Chubby Checker!  A taut, psychological thriller from the director of Monster’s Ball, starring Ewan McGreggor.  Ewan reminds me of a young, well… me.  British, sexy, and one of his biggest roles has been acting alongside robots.  I got two words for you Ewan: Short Circuit!  Remember Johhny Five?  I would have given my life for that robot.  His heart may have been made out of a toaster oven but he was the most loyal friend a man could have.  And not too bad of wing man either!  Reminds me of this time that Tawny Kitaen, me, Johhny Five, and….wait just a second! I almost forgot this was censored!      

NORTH COUNTRY

Oscar is already buzzing around Charlize Theron’s newest movie.  Charlize is never afraid to take risks.  She went straight to the A-list following her amazing transformation in Monster.  I feel like a good parallel to this is was when I did Cocoon.  I was a young Hollywood heartthrob at the time and  I was on fire after Police Academy 2: Citizens on Patrol.  And what did I decide to do next?  Play it safe and reprise my role as Mahoney yet again?  Guaranteed box office gold?  No way! I starred in a movie with Wilford Grimley and Don Ameche and aliens.  But don’t worry, eventually I came back and reprised the rold of Mahoney. Twice.

DREAMER

This is the perfect way to warm your heart right when the weather is getting colder.  A little girl and her horse, nothing more, nothing less.  Throw in everyone’s favorite precocious child actor Dakota Fanning and you got a hit!  Kurt Russell plays her dad.  Kurt and I used to be box office rivals in the mid to late Guties (That’s what I call the Eighties).  I think I had a little more range than Russell.  Three Men and a Baby vs. Overboard in a streetfight.  Me, Danson, and Selleck win easy.  We won’t even use Selleck’s moustache.  Oh, and I got the whole kid’s movie thing down too.  I know what kids love: dogs and dolphins, specifically dogs that befriend dolphins and ride on their backs.  Sound familiar? Of course it does. Does Zeus and Roxanne ring a bell? No? It doesn’t? Really? Hmmm.    

DOOM
They finally turned the revolutionary first person shooter into a movie. Not for the faint of heart, expect a testosterone pumping, blood and guts gore fest.  If you’re looking for something equally as thrilling and a little more family friendly, check out the made for TV Tower of Terror. We may not be trying to close a portal to hell but we’re providing a cute story behind the ride in MGM Studios in Orlando. Kirsten Dunst was in it! Hey Kirsten, if you’re reading this, I haven’t been able to reach you in awhile. I still have the same number. Give me a call if you have some time. I know you’re really busy promoting Elizabethtownand getting ready for another Spiderman but you still have some time for ol’ Gute, right? Well anyway just give me a call back.

That’s all the time we have this week folks! But be sure to check back here for Gute’s Movie Reviews!  Now where’s that paycheck you promised me?

Friday Afternoon Quick Hits

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Dennis_rodman_1

Donald Trump whines that Martha Stewart’s Apprentice ratings are hurting his, apparently forgetting he is the exec. producer for both shows.

Today’s case of "Is that a metaphor or not ?" brought to you by ABC News : David Letterman and Madonna "go horse riding".

Dennis Rodman
once rushed from a craps table in Vegas to New York after Madonna placed urgent call telling him she’s ovulating; who said chivalry is dead?

Rod Stewart announces to the world he’ll take a year off when his baby is born; world encourages him to have plenty more children.

Best Friends Forever

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Esqbkg 

….especially if that friendship will help sell upcoming albums, movies, and television shows. ONTD gives us the latest Paris and Nicole gossip.[ONTD Link]

Friday Morning Quick Hits

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1020barbie

Tonight Show bandleader Kevin Eubanks thanks LA Firefighters for saving
his home
. Firefighters in turn ask Eubanks to save them from Jay Leno.

Miss America 
pageant still looking for home. Organizers would like to inform you in advance that "your lap" isn’t large enough. Pfft. Men.

Heavily-armed clowns rob donut store in Everett. Police looking for two
suspects described as having white faces, red noses and wide grins, may
be driving a teeny-tiny little car.

Upcoming ‘very special episode’ of Extreme Home Makeover to include a
$500k home for a convicted armed robber
. Ty: "You had me crying at ‘two
DUI convictions”.

Michael Jackson moving to Bahrain after successfully mastering Arabic
phrases inlcuding "Hello", "I am well, and you?" and "How much for the
little boy?"

Just because you’re dead in your car in a mall parking lot doesn’t give you the right to park there for as long as you want.

Google‘s quarterly profit sends shares up 10%. Al Gore waiting for royalties.

Mattel set to revamp Barbie’s Ken in effort to make him cool and hip to
young girls.
Ken crosses his fingers for "Extreme Makeover: Genitalia
Edition".

Thursday Afternoon Quick Hits

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Michaeljackson67pict

Sensing a backslide into irrelevance, Jon Bon Jovi tosses verbal  jab at Madonna’s mothering skills. Considers insulting her  acting skills as well, but thwarted by the enormous glass house
he lives in.

Burt Bacharach writes anti-war song. To be covered by  upcoming American Idol contestants in a medley with "Wishin and Hopin", "Raindrops Keep Falling" and "Say a Little Prayer".

Michael Jackson called for jury duty. Expected to giggle like a schoolgirl when asked if he can be fair and impartial.

You can argue all day long about legalizing marijuana, but if your throw a pot plant over a fence where it lands on a passing cop you basically deserve whatever you get.

A&E Gets Sex-Change-tastical!

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Alexis_arquette_carloalegri


"The brother of Courtney Cox’s husband David Arquette, actor Alexis Arquette, is to become a woman in two months. He will be filmed as he goes through therapy sessions before having
hormone injections and then the operation. His brother David and sister
Patricia will also appear in the recording. He has already received the
go-ahead from psychiatrists to proceed with the operation."

A&E you say? I thought this was more up FOX’s alley. Regardless, I will watch and be delighted that television has given birth to a new all time low of bad reality tv programming. What will they think of next? [softpedia article]

Roses have thorns

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Rose

This is by far my favourite Rose. I just wish it wouldn’t do things like date Marylin Manson or you know go and get arrested at a Tmobile party.[CityRag Scoop]