Here’s Toni J with her roundup of the best TV from last weekend:
While you were enjoying your day off, we were enjoying our day on:
- John Legend is "playing the sex angle up a little bit." JFK would approve.
- Lindsay Lohan snubbed Kimberly Stewart at a recent party. Jimmy Carter mediated, and all is well.
- Keira Knightley hates her boobs, just like Mary Todd Lincoln.
- Simon Cowell is a total liar, but Gerald Ford pardoned him.
- Brokeback Mountain won four BAFTAs (British Academy Film Awards) last night. George W. Bush said now he totally has to see it.
- Madonna pats herself on the back for doing something Eleanor Roosevelt could do with one hand tied behind her back.
Originally designed to promote his first film, Zach Braff now uses his Garden State blog to break off engagements. Check out his utter denial of reported engagement to Mandy Moore and his utter adoration for a guy named Joshua Radin.
Some kind soul over at the Gorillamask forum posted a list of some great Comedy Central Presents, featuring some of our favorite comedians.
I recommend watching Greg Giraldo, Zach Galifianakis, Brian Regan and Stella. And Dave Attell. And Patrice O’Neal. Ah, who am I kidding, they’re all good. Click here to watch them all. Who’s your favorite?
The kids of MTV’s Fat Camp are the talk of the town or at least of this blog. For those of you who haven’t yet caught the special, imagine Laguna Beach sprinkled with the Biggest Loser and sauteed in Wet Hot American Summer to create meal of high-calorie fun.
While there’s mysteriously no Fat Camp details on the MTV’s homepage, we’re providing a temporary outpost for all things Camp Pocono Trails. With our readers’ help we hunted down the amazing Myspace pages of Chelsea, Matt and (ladies’ choice) Petey. Note the Smirnoff bottles, the pop songs and the bikini clad models they splash all over their profiles. Judging from their pages, they’re ready to rock n’ roll as MTV stars, so lets help make them famous.
- Kevin Federline says he’s ready for the backlash his forthcoming rap album will inevitably cause. Meanwhile, critics, bloggers and comedians across the country are still getting all lubed up.
- Cameron Diaz was almost maimed by a bird that flew threw the windshield of her limo. Those paparazzi sure are getting creative!
- According to his brother, R. Kelly can add "wife-beating bisexual" to his already impressive resume of "sex-addicted pedophile scatalogical weirdo".
- Page Six says that rap mogul Damon Dash taught a frightening lesson to some neighborhood bullies that stole his son’s cell phone. In other news, Suge Knight gunned down a fourth-grader for cutting in front of his son in the lunch line.
- The Olsen Twins are going from BoHo to "BoHoly shit, what are you doing?"
In honor of President’s Day, Trees Lounge posted a bunch of president-themed songs. Everything from Eric B & Rakim‘s "Eric B is Mr. President" to Bright Eyes‘ "When The President Talks to God" to Jay-Z‘s "Dead Presidents." Be patriotic, and download them all.
- Rooney has a new album on its way next month. In the meantime, I Am Fuel, You Are Fire has an old track from before the band signed with Geffen to keep you busy.
- Are you sick of listening to that Clap Your Hands Say Yeah album over and over and over again yet? Well, Skatterbrain has a new CYHSY song for you to overplay: "Me And You Watson."
- Awesome Until Proven Guilty has a handful of Martha & Rufus Wainwright tracks. Download the Martha song that has such an un-printable title that I can’t even begin to type it here.
- Even though I left my first ever Matt Pond PA concert declaring that the "PA" must have stood for "Pretty Average," I still really enjoy his cover of Neutral Milk Hotel’s classic track "In An Aeroplane Over The Sea." You can hear it at My Old Kentucky Blog.
- VH1 requires me to post at least one Joss Stone link a day. Okay, I’m kidding… but I bet this gets me a raise. You can find several Joss Stone tracks here.
In honor of Presidents’ Day, here’s a highly ridiculous little animated short. It’s so money.
Update: Thanks for deleting our account, YouTube. You rock.
While you’re there, why not join our YouTube Group?
Supermodel Kate Moss will star in Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee’s next movie as the female lover of Charlize Theron.
Here’s a guess as to how the pitch meeting for this movie went:
- Executive 1: So everyone loves this new gay movie thing. Who would have thought?!
- Executive 2: Yes we’ve got to get Ang Lee to direct another one
- Executive 1: But you know what would be even better? This may be crazy but– what if this time the gay people were two really hot girls?
- Executive 2: That’s so crazy it just might work.
Donald Trumpsays that Martha Stewart should "take responsibility" for the failure of The Apprentice. Well, as the old saying goes, when you point the finger, you have three fingers pointing back at you. With that in mind I decided to look back at Donald Trump’s history of accepting responsibility for his failures. Let’s see how he did:
- "Trump Blames Martha Stewart for Ratings Slide"
- "Donald Trump blames Joey for Apprentice‘s slip in ratings."
- When Trump didn’t hire both Randall Pinkett and Rebecca Jarvis on The Apprentice, he blamed it on Pinkett.