The Daily Danza


Enjoy it while you can, because this may be one of the last Daily Danzas ever. Yes, last week Tony mentioned in his opening monologue that ABC’s network execs had a meeting about the future of the show and "it didn’t go well." But take heed, there’s still hope yet. Sign the Save Tony Danza petition and make your voice heard. And if you need some inspiration before you sign, listen to BWE’s original song, Don’t Cancel Tony (music and lyrics by Jason Hartley). Together we can make a difference.

Laguna Beach Used Car Sale



It doesn’t matter if they don’t work, if they’re overpriced or if they smell like teenager, these cars are one of kind. Right now, Ebay is having a sale on not one but two broken down cars once owned by the stars of Laguna Beach! For just $11,000 you can own a 1994 white Jeep that you saw practically explode in smoke on the show, courtesy of teen sensation Kristin Cavellari. While it still may be ‘dunzo’, it’s now equipped with a bikini rack and video game console–perfect for any Laguna Beach teen who has lots of bathing suits and no where to go.

And if you’ve got a little more cash to spare, consider LB superstar Lo’s Volkswagon Jetta. At just $15,000, this white car comes with leather interior and a backseat that holds secrets that only the cast of Laguna Beach and their camera crew know.

Tell your daddy you want both cars or better yet tell him he doesn’t love you ever since he divorced your mommy and you may be the first person on your block to "own a piece of TV history."

Kevin’s Big Job


Britney_kevin_2Something big happened this weekend. Something huge. Something shocking. No, I’m not talking about George Mason pulling off a big upset in the NCAA tournament and advancing to the Final 4. Hardly. No, I’m talking about something even more unlikely–

Kevin Federline had a job.

Yes, you read that correctly. This weekend, K-Fed wore the pants in the family and played the role of breadwinner by appearing at Vision nightclub in Atlanta. At 11 p.m. he was placed on display in the "V.I.P. circle" so onlookers who paid $1,500 for a table could… well, look at him, I guess.

Sure, standing "on display" doesn’t sound like "hard work" to us, but c’mon– we’re talking Mr. Britney Spears here. It’s a step in the right direction. Maybe someday he’ll do something that’s actually considered laborous, but in the meantime, let’s take what we can get.

Check out more pictures from Kevin’s big night on the job by clicking below.

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  • According to Christopher Anderson’s Barbra: The Way She Is Barbra Streisand was intimate with Warren Beatty, Ryan O’Neal, Steve McQueen, Kris Kristofferson, Don Johnson, Jon Voight, Elliott Gould, Andre Agassi, Richard Gere, Omar Sharif, Liam Neeson, Peter Jennings, Tommy Smothers, and Peter Weller. Strangely, her husband, James Brolin, is not on the list.
  • Kevin Smith doesn’t care for Reese Witherspoon: "I did vote for her for Walk the Line because she was so good," Smith said. "I forgot how much I hated that c—!" Kind of like how Smith’s fans have forgotten why they liked him.
  • Anthony Hopkins‘ Hannibal Lecter was named the ultimate movie bad guy in a new magazine poll. Billy  Zabka was totally robbed. 
  • Isaac Hayes is angry that people think that the real reason he left South Park was that he had a stroke. He prefers the "I’m a slave to Scientology" explanation.
  • Jennifer Lopez has put herself on a strict spinach diet because she wants to become pregnant. Sounds like somebody needs the birds and bees talk.
  • David Bowie and Sting are supposedly planning to open a branch of the burlesque club Forty Deuce in Manhattan. Oh sure, when it’s those guys it’s a "burlesque" club.

Experiencing Misery and Suffering? You Could Be a Star!


If you’ve suffered any of the following tragedies, ABC would love to exploit your loss in exchange for TV Ratings:

  • Lost a child to drunk driving
  • Mom or Dad diagnosed with skin cancer
  • Hate crime victim
  • Child with Muscular Dystrophy

Just think – this really good-looking host/wannabe actor will show up to your home and your anguish and woe will be captured forever by a camera team, then broadcast into the homes of millions of bored couch potatoes in order that they might feel heartened that they too haven’t been afflicted with the myriad problems that you have! 

Is that EXTREME enough for you!?!

The Future of Reality TV


Scare_me_1Just when you thought every simple idea for a television show has already been taken– thanks, FOX– a bunch of drunk college kids have stepped up and taken it to the next level.

This is Scare Me, a show based on the simple premise that scaring people is funny. You know what– it actually is.

Watch it now. It’s like Punk’d meets Jackass meets your drunk idiot friends in college who don’t care about what other people think of them. Seriously, if this doesn’t secure these kids a network deal soon I’ll be shocked. Or scared. One of the two.

SIZZLER: Lindsay and Leo Sitting in a Tree?



According to the British rag, Life and Style Extra:  "[Lindsay Lohan and Leo DiCaprio] hooked up at a New Year’s Eve party hosted by Lindsay in Miami. They have being seeing each other ever since – despite the 12 year age gap – and friends say they are helping each other get over their recent break-ups." According to my calculations, that same night Lindsay also reunited with former flame Wilmer Valderrama and had an asthma attack.

Wow-great party! But it still doesn’t beat New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly and a bottle of Korbel.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN ERA: From Spike Lee to Larry the Cable Guy


Here are the top 7 (I just couldn’t leave out Larry the Cable Guy) movies you elected to spend your hard-earned money on this past weekend.

1.  Spike Lee stops whining for a moment in order to cobble together a movie profitable enough to allow him to continue his incessant whining for a few more years – $29 million

2.  "Wait a minute, I thought this was supposed to be a superhero movie, not some kind of Michael Moore hippie-liberal-commie-propaganda!?!?" – $12.3 million

3.  Malcom in the middle of the bargain bin, right next to the other bajillion stupid horror movies just like this one – $11.2 million

4.  Who keeps watching this crap?  Shouldn’t this be on video yet? – $10.8 million

5.  Seriously, just stop.  This is too depressing to go on – $9.1 million

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