Uh…ex-squeeze us? Since when does the world not want to see Ben Affleck toweling off after a shower scene? We spent our adolescence watching Ben Affleck rub down Jennifer Lopez on a yacht, and now we’re supposed to want less semi-nude Affleck? The Argo director joked about his nakedness on the Daily Show, imitating producers who asked that less Affleck flesh be on display in the film: “‘I don’t have any notes, except…do you want to tell him or should I? You know the shower scene? Maybe…trim that a little bit.” Agreed Jon Stewart, “At the time I was thinking, ‘Ah…it’s a little gratuitous.’” How dare you, Hollywood! You do not spend the early 2000s convincing teen girls that Ben Affleck is the hottest man alive, only to switch up the narrative a decade or so later. We demand you stick to your story!
Wanna have sex like a rock star? Umm, no you don’t. At least not like these rock stars, movie stars and other stars in the Hollywood galaxy. Many celebs have described their night moves to us in great detail, and the results were less “sexy,” and more “cringe-y.” Olivia Wilde is that latest famous face to have offended our not-so-delicate sensibilities. After telling an audience on Monday that her “vagina died” after the wind-down of her marriage and subsequent divorce, Wilde gave the crowd a happy ending by informing them that she and SNL‘s Jason Sudeikis “have sex like Kenyan marathon runners.” OK, we’re not really offended, but that line definitely gives your brain the bad touch and makes us want to grab our non-existent pearls just a tiny bit. Yet a part of us loves it anyway! Head on down to the gallery below and check out more celebrities who have hit our TMI button with tales of their sexual exploits. Enjoy!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Of course, the gossips are abuzz with stories about Robert Pattinson being photographed “deep in conversation” with a mysterious blond woman at Electric Room in Dream Hotel in NYC on Saturday night. (Weird side note: This is the same bar where Lindsay and Dina Lohan went last night before their big blowout.) Actually, it’s a source for photo agency Splash News that says, “Robert only had eyes for the girl.” Sources talking to Us Weekly, meanwhile, seemed to think he was just talking to her and was totally just hanging out with a group of friends, including Tom Sturridge, Sienna Miller and Michelle Trachtenberg. (Some fans have suggested that the woman is Sienna’s sister, Savannah.) We’ve never been to Electric Room, but we imagine that like any other bar on a Saturday night, you have to lean in very close to anyone to be heard. And once we start thinking about that, we are reminded of our own Kate Spencer’s reaction the last time Rob was said to be getting intimately close to a lady at a bar. Here’s part of her “soapbox” rant from last December:
“Not all that vajiggle jaggle.” And with that Christopher Walken becomes the last part of American culture to be taken over by Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The Seven Psychopaths actor joins Colin Farrell and Sam Rockwell for an in-character reading for the show’s dialogue for Screen Junkies. “These are words,” Walken states. It’s not a question. Of course it’s not. He’d have to be a fool to be completely unfamiliar with Alana and her family, considering how all pervasive they are now. They’ve pretty much invaded every aspect of entertainment, like…
We don’t know what’s more harrowing: the content of the phone call Lindsay Lohan placed from her limo fight with mother Dina Lohan last night, or the fact that her father Michael Lohan would turn around and give the audio from said call to TMZ. Both are depressing, but considering the content of Lindsay’s tirade, we’re going to go with the latter. “Dad, she’s on cocaine. She’s like touching her neck, and s—,” Lindsay says of Dina over the phone. “She’s threatening everyone in the car.” Lilo also reveals that she gave her mother $40,000 to “keep her house.” “Give me my 40 grand back!” Lohan cries. You can listen to the full audio here, but honestly just imagine the saddest thing you’ve ever heard and you’re pretty much there. “You tricked me,” Lindsay weeps during the call. See? We were not joking.
But as baffling as the call itself might seems to everyone else in the universe, what’s more perplexing is that Lindsay and Dina have apparently made up. Or at least made up to the point that they’re willing to hug each other outside Dina’s Long Island home, according to photos snapped of the pair today. We genuinely don’t know what to feel about this whole situation. Oh, except total and complete sadness. Of course.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
Well, this is certainly a dilly of a pickle. TMZ reports that Justin Bieber is just latest celebrity to fall prey to “Swatting,” a clever prank in which an idiot or idiots wastes the police force’s time and resources to annoy a celebrity for no reason. LOL, right! A 911 call was placed last night claiming that “someone was waving a gun” near Bieber’s home. The police dispatched officers as well as helicopters to Justin’s block, only to find out that the call was bogus. Haha, who doesn’t love squandering hundreds if not thousands of tax payers’ dollars pissing off Justin Bieber? Way to go, anonymous morons!
Of course, the Biebs isn’t the only famous person who has fallen victim to swatting; Miley Cyrus and Ashton Kutcher have both dealt with similar calls in the last couple months. According to authorities, the calls are typically placed from a phone app, which we guess is better than being placed from a phone in Justin Bieber’s attic. Maybe we’re being drama queens here, but we honestly feel bad for the cops who have to deal with swatting on a regular basis. What are they supposed to do? Not respond an alleged gun-wielding lunatic outside Justin Bieber’s house? That’s probably the first thing they learn on Day 1 at the L.A. Police Academy! It’s in their blood!
[Photo: Getty Images]
On last night’s The New Normal, the story revolved around a pretend wedding for elementary-schoolers Shania and Wilbur, who, after three and half weeks of courtship, felt it was time to put a ring on it. Bryan used this opportunity to live out his dreams of a wedding with David, making it a fabulous event that included lamb sliders and a dress made of leaves. Of course, no wedding is complete without a tearjerking speech. Instead, Rocky, played by NeNe Leakes, read the words of Shania’s favorite poet, Nicki Minaj.
“You always told me forget the haters, just get my money, just get my weight up,” quoted NeNe, from Nicki’s 2010 song “Right Thru Me.” You can watch the whole moving recitation in the video above. When the show aired, the Real Housewife tweeted “I live 4 Nikki chile.” Now we can only hope for a cameo of NeNe in the next Nicki Minaj video.
NeNe’s transition from reality star to actress has been quite the seamless one, and on The New Normal, we see her shine bright like the hilarious — and highly quotable — star she was born to be. In case you aren’t onboard with us yet, here are four reasons to watch NeNe as Rocky on The New Normal: Read more…
Today on Very VH1…It’s Wednesday, which means we’ll be dissecting all the latest tabloid stories with our Way/No Way game, deciding which ones we think are true and which ones are total BS (hint: almost all of them). Also, the Lohans act like Lohans, drunk-fighting until 911 is called, and Robert Pattinson is once again causing a stir for doing the unthinkable — talking to a member of the opposite sex in a bar. Yes, Very VH1 is jam-packed with topics and we can’t wait to hear YOUR thoughts, today — live! — at 2PM est. Watch us below and click on the tab in the upper righthand corner to join in the chat.
As we’ve fallen madly in love with Rebel Wilson over recent months — in a totally platonic, not stalkerish way, we swear — it’s been quite exciting to watch the rest of the world join us. The latest member of our Rebel fan club is Universal, which bought a yet-untitled comedy feature that the Pitch Perfect star will write, produce and star in, according to The Hollywood Reporter. We’re not sure how it will work into her schedule if ABC also picks up Wilson’s TV pilot, Super Fun Night, but we are sure that that one bouncer is definitely going to deny that once upon a time, he refused to let Rebel into her friend’s birthday party. Also, we really hope this movie involves singing and/or mermaid dancing.
All this Rebel love has prompted us to take a peek into the Internet to see what Rebel’s early career in Australia looked like. One of our favorite of the clips we found is actually this appearance on the Australian improv show Thank God You’re Here: Read more…
We’ve lost another ’80s sitcom legend. Alex Karras, 1960s football legend-turned-Webster-star, died at age 77 of kidney failure this morning in his Los Angeles home. The former Detroit Lions defensive tackle was one of the first big (literally) football players to parlay his size and charisma into a successful acting career. While still playing for the Lions, he played himself in the 1968 movie Paper Lions, and after being retired from the team, he ventured into TV, working for Monday Night Football from 1974-76. That’s when he also found a new set of fans for playing Mongo in Mel Brooks‘ Blazing Saddles.