Wednesday Quick Hits – Ladies Only

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Eva Mendes has vowed never to wear fur again. Alright, that’s a start. Now step two: Get Eva Mendes to vow never to wear clothes again.

Jennifer Aniston has been named GQ’s Man of the Year. And it finally makes sense why Brad dumped her.

On The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra blamed the media for her 14-year-long feud with Naomi Campbell. Naomi Campbell then blamed Tyra for being such a bitch. Tyra shot back "I don’t think so, girlfriend!" Then they got into a big old cat fight on stage that only ended when they started making out. Well, that’s how it played out in my mind.

Mariah Carey has allegedly asked toymakers to produce 300 "miniature Mariah" dolls. She plans on handing them out to all 300 people who actually saw Glitter.

Chelsea Clinton has been hanging out with Tara Reid. In a related story, Bill Clinton still hasn’t returned his copy of "American Beauty."

And finally, a San Bernadino woman still plans to marry the man who shot her in the groin and then held her hostage for six days. Because love is blind. And really, really stupid.

Paul Scheer is Trapped in the Closet

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For everyone out there making DVD commentaries, I have one word for you, “STOP!”

There is absolutely no way anyone can top the pure insanity of R. Kelly candidly watching and talking about his Hip-Hop Opera “Trapped in the Closet” on his newly released compilation DVD. Seriously, this is why DVD commentaries were invented. [keep reading]

If you love Trapped in the Closet as much as we do, you have to read Paul’s take on the R. Kelly masterpiece. Because watching R. Kelly watch Trapped in the Closet is "like God watching a video of the 1st 12 days of Earth."

I couldn’t have said it any better myself.

Also, check out Paul’s site for brand new video updates. Rock on.

Laguna Beach Finale– Recap!

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Did you miss the Laguna Beach finale last night? Of course you didn’t. Well, just in case you know somebody who did miss it, send them over to TVGasm for the recap.

Full Laguna recap here. When you’re done wiping the tears from your face, let’s talk about LC’s upcoming show The Hills. Can’t. Wait. For. That.

Elisha Cuthbert: The Queen of All Media

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If you would have told me when I was 15 that in ten years there’d be an actress who:

Would start writing a hockey blog for NHL.com

Would appear in a Weezer video as the original lead singer of the band before Rivers took over (Perfect Situation)

And who would star in my favorite TV show about terrorism, AND in my favorite movie about a porn star moving next door to a normal guy, AND who was ridiculously gorgeous– do you have any idea what I’d say to you? Probably, "what’s a blog?" But after that I’d fall in love.

Elisha Cuthbert– Finally, Canadians have made up for Bryan Adams.

Video Links: True Love and Boyz II Men

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It was just another day for Zachary Kahn… until he met the mouse of his dreams.

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And what were you doing in the early 90′s? This guy was in Boyz II Men. He thinks.

Click the pictures to watch the movies. Enjoy. I think they’re both 2 Legit 2 Quit.

Tuesday Quick Hits

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Paris Hilton was attacked by her pet monkey. I’m not going to make a joke, I just want you to read that sentence over and over and over again.

Not niiiiiiiiiiice. The Kazkh government is threatening to take Sasha Baron Cohen, a.k.a. Borat to court for making fun of thier country. Once they establish a system of government and improve transport he’ll be in so much trouble.

Ozzy is terrified that he’s going to catch the bird flu. From this point out he’s limiting his bat-biting incidents to once-a-week as a cautionary measure.

When you see names like Jerry Rice, Robert Wagner, Lisa Rinna, and Drew Lachey next to one another it can only mean one thing: time for another crappy reality show!

Yes, a woman has put a Daniel Radcliffe/ Harry Potter countdown clock online so you can count down the seconds until he turns 18. Because, you know, most teenage boys hold out until they’re 18. Right?

A beverage company has unveiled salmon-flavored soda. This is a classic case of supply and demand: They supply it, you demand they stop.

And finally, the BIG NEWS of the day! Jude and Sienna are… ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

The Worst Album Covers EVER

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Some of these images are downright vulgar. Some of them show a complete lack of artistic skill and execution. A greater portion fail because they neglect to serve their purpose: to represent and sell the music inside.

Panterametalmagic Cheriparalyze Feldmancoreyloveleft Weezermaladroit_1 Jackycircoencantadodajacky Rollingstonesdirtywork

Check out the full list from those hipsters over at Pitchfork here. I have to warn you though: some of these covers are downright vulgar and not appropriate for work. Actually, they’re not appropriate for anything. You’ve been warned.

So, what are you thoughts? Are any missing? Where’s the Lindsay Lohan "Speak" cover? There are questions that need to be answered.