H&M cancels Kate Moss ad campaign

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Fashion giant Hennes and Mauritz has canceled an advertising
campaign using British supermodel Kate Moss following allegations she
took illegal drugs, the Swedish-based company said on Tuesday.


The company had previously said it would still use Moss in the campaign
after meeting her to discuss the publication of photos in the Daily
Mirror which the British tabloid said showed her snorting cocaine.

Moss has previously denied taking hard drugs. On Tuesday  her spokeswoman was not immediately available for comment.

I wish to apologize on behalf of Kate. She’s so used to designer products that she didn’t think of  H&M’s feelings. Next time she tries hard drugs she’ll go with a cheaper alternative, one to appeal to the masses instead of the fashionably elite crowd. When one is used to rolling up hundreds to snort one’s habit it’s hard to switch right over to dollar bills. It takes time to adjust. Crack should be more H&M’s speed. Right?[Reuters Article]

Tuesday Morning Quick Hits

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Tom Sizemore is trying to get networks to pick up a reality show starring
Tom Sizemore. Networks won’t touch it, probably concerned about the
speaking part for "Little Tommy".

Star Jones donates her Emmy gown to help Katrina victims.  Will be used as tarp for the Superdome.

Oprah ends war with Hermes, still locked in a stalemate with Zoidburg on the Western front.

Lil’ Kim checks into prison for perjury, prepares to truly find out if ‘she get licked once, she can get licked twice.’

Jerry Springer

  musical back on track in London. They were waiting for the pole-dancing conjoined gay twins to join the cast.

God already allows one awards show to promote the "homosexual agenda",
but clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond
the Tonys.

Halle Berry swears off men…but not making bad movies.

Survivor winner Richard Hatch pleads not guilty to tax evasion.   Trying to outwit, outlast, outplay IRS….

*1 joke pulled double posted on fark. we are geeks.

The Hooters Employee Handbook

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"Only approved Orange Hooters Girl Shorts are to be worn, sized to fit,
and should NOT BE SO TIGHT THAT THE BUTTOCKS SHOW."
[ Continue reading @ the smoking gun]

Things I’ve learned from reading this handbook include the following:

1) Smiling is super important (because Hooters patrons really care about your inner beauty).
2) Socks also are super important (because nobody likes a stinker).
3) Tongue rings are bad (because they aren’t selling sex, they are selling b00bies…?)
4) bras are good (I think it should be on an individual basis…but I’ll let this one slide).
5)men work at hookers(?)

I didn’t know that last one. See, you learn something new every day. Now if I can just find myself boobies, I can hand in my application and get my smiling on.

Afternoon Quick Hits

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Renee says Kenny didn’t want kids. "This is an incredibly sad time. I
just hope everyone can respect the privacy that I know Renee has asked
for, plus, I don’t have a penis."

Tori Spelling is soon to be free from her failed marriage. In somewhat unrelated news,  Prince Charles  is thinking of trading in for a younger horse…

Lara Flynn Boyle now regrets being such an advocate against plastic surgery, because she’d really enjoy a bigger set of breasts. Did someone tell her that eating food also tends to help make one’s body develop properly?

Nude Loch Ness swimmers give up; realize it’s a bad idea to wiggle the worm at Nessie.

Hiltons have nothing

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Fashion legend Valentino, proves yet again to have exquisite taste. When asked about whether or not he would design the wedding dress for Paris Hilton he responded "No, I don’t like her. She is marrying the son of a
friend of mine. They have billions. She is vulgar, and she is not even
pretty."
He then took a quick jab at her whole family stating that "The Hiltons, they have nothing."

Hmm. Valentino is a very…very smart man. A very smart man with great insight… A very smart man that may not have a hotel to stay in when visiting North America and will most likely not be in Paris any time soon. [NYpost article]

Monday Morning Quick Hits

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Kate Moss‘ coke habit led to lesbian romps with British actresses;
now why couldn’t the tabloids have video of THAT? Until I see proof, I
refuse to believe that supermodels live lives of drugs, sex, and rock
& roll.

Next James Bond movie: "He’s 28: no Q, no gadgets." What’s next? No alcohol or women either?  Is this a Mormon bond? This is going to be the worst. bond. movie. ever.

Vince Neil
forgets to take his "Keith Richards immortality pill" and breaks a leg on stage. No really… he broke his leg.

Tyra Banks 
takes bra off on TV to prove they’re real…and perfect.

Cletus expects January rap album release "to sell 1 million copies
within the first month", pigs to fly through frozen hell (second story).

World’s first face transplant
will occur in the next few weeks.  John Travolta and Nicholas Cage unavailable for comment.

Cynthia Lennon continues to kick John’s balls in, this time in book form.

Aye matey, today be national talk like a pirate day.

92-year old man hits major jackpot at a casino for the second time, plans to get a trophy wife and a year’s supply of Depends.