No Icecream, No TV, No Fun: Why Madonna Sucks, Chapter 10.

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018

Remember that mom (perhaps it’s even your mom) that totally sucked and wouldn’t let her kids have sugar, watch movies without a G rating and imposed silly curfews like "when the street lights go on, I want you home immediately!"? Well, it looks like America has ourselves another ultra-conservative mommy machine. Only this time, her children will be able to call her a hypocrite as soon as they decide to look up what Mommy’s past was like in their local Barnes and Nobels. Good luck hiding that sex book of yours Madonna. If I went to school with your children, I would pack that sex book along side my lunch box to taunt your kids. I’d also tell them that the Kabbalah man doesn’t exist too. [Madonna is a mean mommy article]

The Master, the movie.

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Fanboyblitz

"Originally planned as a full-length film, The Master was intended to give gamers the movie they deserved.  It was inspired in part as a parody of Nintendo’s 1989 movie, The Wizard.  Nintendo’s movie was regarded by some as "family fun" and a cheap marketing gimmick by others.  In the summer of 2002, production of The Master began."

 This one is for the leetest geeks ever. Lame? naturally. Hilarious? Absolutely.[Watch Now]

[Torrent Download]

Link thanks to:
BoingBoing

Newsbabe BUSTED

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20051014nbctoday_1

"In a deliciously ironic twist of fate, shortly before airing a segment
aimed at embarrassing the Bush administration by suggesting that it had
staged a video conversation between the president and soldiers in Iraq,
the Today show was caught staging . . . a video stunt.
..

Just as the segment came on the
air, two men waded in front of Kosinki . . . and the water barely
covered their shoe tops! That’s right, Kosinski’s canoe was in no more
than four to six inches of water!"

I saw this when it originally aired and
just had to find it online and post it. I love it when the media gets
busted playing the game it spends so much time criticizing.[News Busters Link]


Alternate (longer) video link
.

  

Monday Morning Quick Hits

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Kermit

Microsoft hopes to win women over with new Xbox, may focus on winning men over next time.

Aaron Sorkin to helm a fictional TV show about what goes on backstage
at a fictional SNL-like variety show. No word yet whether the suckage
will be real or fictional.

Kermit the Frog turns 50, says the secret to his longevity is staying moist.

Please don’t pick Hugh Grant… please don’t pick Hugh Grant  Daniel Craig. YAY! Just remember, it could have been so much worse.

Ricky Martin tells how his fame left him bored.  Apparently unaware that it had the same effect on everyone else.

Fats Domino returns to New Orleans. Residents are glad he didn’t bring Muddy Waters with him.

The most evil, the most diabolical invention ever created by man since
the atomic bomb. A clock that sings the ‘Meow Mix’ song every hour on
the hour
. Buy it now for your enemies!

And thus, God spoke: "Let there be age-defying protein pancakes." He
looked upon them, poured sugar-free Log Cabin syrup upon them, and saw
that it was good.

Hurricane Wilma expected to slam into land next week, leaving behind only bedrock, pebbles, and rubble.

Coffee before Baby

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Epeir7

Yes, everyone is dying to see baby pictures, but Britney shows us what is most important part of her morning routine…and I have to say I agree with her completely. Coffee. Yes, coffee comes before baby.

Pay attention ladies to Britney’s plan of attack on pesky baby fat. Observe: The super-sized coffee+whip-cream+cigarettes diet.  The only surefire way to lose baby weight in Hollywood. Watch how in only a month’s time she will drop down four dress sizes. It’s like magic. Don’t call her selfish because she’s not doing this for Britney, she’s doing it for the peoples.  [ONTD pictures]

Hickory Hank’s Glitz & Gab: BWE, 1924-style

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Hickory_hank_3_7Good afternoon dames and gents.  Hickory Hank here to fill you in on whats buzzing in the biz.  Let’s get a wiggle on. 

Looks like Jude Law gave Sienna Miller the old icy mitt.  Seems Jude wasn’t too keen about Ms. Miller having a soiree with the next 007 himself, Daniel Craig.  Word on the street is that Sienna isn’t taking the breakup well.  Seems like Law gave her a bum’s rush out the door.  Guess his favorite color is… burnt Sienna

In happier news, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore tied the knot.  That dame might be over the hill but she’s got a pair of gams that won’t quit.  â€œDude, where’s my car?” is something Kutcher could be hearing from Moore in the next five years… as she approaches senility!   

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting.  Some people say it’s thanks to the chemistry, but if you ask me it sounds more like… science fiction!

Congrats to Jessica Biel on being voted the World’s Sexiest Woman.  I’m not feeding you a line, Beil is the bee’s knees.  She makes Eva Longoria look like a bug-eyed Betty.   I wouldn’t mind it if she took ol’ Hickory Hank to… seventh heaven!

Dennis Rodman’s new tell-all book “I Should Be Dead By Now” is out.  He claims that ex-flame Carmen Electra attempted to shove spaghetti in his can.  Rodman’s probably just chewing gum but who knows what Electra is like in the sack?  She seems like a bearcat and a half.  If she wants spaghetti… I’m scrambling to find the sauce

Fox has cancelled The Simple Life.  Woof! Woof! My heart is breaking for Paris & Nicole.  Jeepers creepers, these two have been ridden more than the Cyclone at Coney… and for half the price! 

Well that’s all for now folks.  I have to go see a man about a dog.  Tune back next time for the next “Glitz ‘n Gab!” 

    

Nelson De La Rosa

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Nelson_de_la_rosa

I love midgets…err small persons…tiny people, whatever. I especially love it when they bust a groove. Check out the World’s Smallest Man cut a rug.[ Link]