While You Were Throwing Stuff At Paris


  • Bruce_willis_2
    Bruce Willis
    wants more kids. He’s thinking of following in his ex-wife’s footsteps and just marrying one.
  • Character Actor Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez has passed away. His friends and family will miss him miss him.
  • Judge Judy is celebrating her tenth year on the air. At least somebody is celebrating it.
  • Rapper Cam’Ron is going undercover on the internet to catch pedophiles. Little does Cam’Ron know, for most of us he’s ‘undercover’ all the time.
  • First there was a gay cowboy movie, next up: Gay Muslims. Hmm. Judging by how well the they took to a recent cartoon, I can’t imagine any problems stemming from this. None whatsoever.

The King Biscuit Flour Hour Starring Paris Hilton



Hollywood Rag
has the story that Paris Hilton was "flour bombed" after her catwalk appearance at London Fashion Week last night. The protestors were from PETA. "There is nothing remotely fashionable about the torture and death of animals killed for fur," PETA Europe’s Yvonne Taylor told the BBC. She could have added, "I’m so jealous of Paris. I wish I were on the catwalk."

Test Your Player Skills



If you haven’t  heard of OK cupid, a dating site where you create tests to find your one true/one night love, you’re probably still single. Sucka.  The co-creator of spark.com (now defunct site circa 2000) has developed this free service, that allows users to quiz their crushes on grammar, personality or just about anything else that’s crucial in finding your soul mate. We rec commend you take the Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test or the Zombie Scenario Survivor Test before you even think of calling us.

It’s Time For A Brand New Bond Girl


A press conference will be held in Prague today to announce who’s going to take on the role of the next "Bond Girl." Actresses like Charlize Theron and Thandie Newton have already passed on the project, so it’s really anybody’s guess as to who it’s going to be. I’d like to offer a couple of suggestions, before it’s too late.James_bond

1) Katie Holmes – Now that she’s escaped Tom’s clutches, Katie’s the perfect choice. She has a new lease on life, she’s ready to let loose, and you know that anything the evil Bond-Villian throws at her won’t be nearly as scary as the stuff she’s seen at the Scientology Center these past 10 months. Now, granted she’s very pregnant, however if you’ve ever seen a James Bond movie you know that that probably won’t deter him from nailing her. Kinky pregnant fetish sex? Sounds like a job for Bond. James Bond.

2) Sienna Miller – We know this: she’s a feisty one. The girl’s a fighter (when confronted with the paparazzi or British nannies), and she doesn’t take any crap from anybody… except Jude Law. 

Read more…

The TomKat 100% Guarantee



Tom Cruise
and Katie Holmes have issued a statement that recent reports that they have broken up are "absolutely 100 percent false." That impressive level of certainty got me thinking about other things that were guaranteed 100 percent…

  • OJ Simpson: "absolutely 100 percent not guilty"
  • Robert Blake‘s son on Larry King: My father is "100 percent not guilty."
  • L.A. Laker Kareem Rush about Kobe: "I’m going to stand by him and say that it’s 100 percent not true."
  • P Diddy and J. Lo have split up: According to a representative, "It’s hilarious, but 100 percent not true." (Oct 12, 2000)
  • Saddam Hussein: Won 100 percent of votes in a referendum for a new term in 2002.

I’m 100-percent convinced now.

Who Would Make a Better Vice President?


Dick_cheney_1    Federline_1

This weekend Dick Cheney shot his 78-year old buddy in the heart while hunting quail in a densely wooded area. Meanwhile, it’s been reported that K-fed was also shooting guns with friends this weekend, but he chose to hunt in a residential, densely populated area. Amazingly he didn’t hurt a soul. And while Cheney dressed in his usual upper-crust uniform of khakis and a hunting cap, Federline et al. got in touch with their inner-soldier in fatigues and beanies. So who would make a better Vice President? After this weekend, K-Fed’s got the edge.

…Of The Day


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE STATEMENT REGARDING TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES AND LIFE & STYLE MAGAZINE Los Angeles, CA (February 14, 2006) – In reference to a forthcoming cover story in the tabloid magazine Life & Style about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, it should be known that the story is 100% false. Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes are still engaged and are moving forward with their wedding plans, as well as planning for the arrival of their child. Despite the malicious fallacies put forth by Life & Style magazine, the couple is looking forward to a long and happy life together as a family.

BROKEN HEART (TIE): Hunter Shot by Cheney has Minor Heart Attack (CNN) & Tomkat is Over!?!? (BWE)

REASON TO GET WASTED TONIGHT: Bode Miller Disqualified (Chicago Tribune)

Chinese Democracy to drop March 6? (Product Shop NYC)

WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN LAME VALENTINE’S DAY: Check out these poor souls (PostSecret)