"Cha cha cha! It’s fiesta time in Laguna Beach! This week’s episode was all about gettin’ drunk on what I imagined was Cinco De Mayo (why else would white kids throw a fiesta?), and while there was all sorts of good drama (like OMG! Kristin totally hooked up with Jessica’s crush!), the real story was watching Roz get drunk and dance around her house like a latter day Tom Cruise in Risky Business, except fully-clothed. We also learned other intriguing things about this sidekick’s personality: her shyness with boys, her love of piÃ±atas, and of course, her deep, undying fear of WAVES. So grab some nachos and a big sombrero. In the immortal words of Lionel Richie in his seminal anthem, All Night Long, "we’re going to party, karamu, fiesta, forever!" Everyone Loves a Spicy Latina Party! "
Everybody’s favorite spoiled brats through a feisty fiesta.[TVgasm Link]
EA to release Superman game in time for next movie. Expected to suck as fast as a speeding bullet.
Ozzy Osbourne, realizing he’s become a parody of himself, releases CD full of cover tunes including Joe Walsh and Mott the Hoople. Can’t be held responsible since there’s no Caucasian equivalent of "keeping it real".
Tyra Banks comes face-to-face with Tyra Banxxx for the first time, it is obviously not the first time Tyra Banxxx has come face-to-face with someone.
Aftermath of DC Stones concert leaves MCI Center looking like cover of Goat’s Head Soup; fans left black and blue and with sticky fingers.
Doctor Who quit because BBC overworked him. Twelve episodes a year apparently too much for Time Lord. In other news, cast of "Lost" still begging ABC for a shower.
Justin Timberlake being recruited to play Sex Pistols’ Johnny Rotten in biopic; producers seeking River Phoenix to play Sid Vicious…
Charlotte Church has shoes stolen off her feet. Crowd decides to follow the gourd instead.
Further demonstrating why it is a nation to be admired, Canada bans Martha Stewart.
Eminem files law suit over ring tones. Will the real Slim Shady please answer your phone
Governor Schwarzenegger triples amount people can win if assaulted by paparazzi. Papa Smurf still free to do as he pleases.
Country singer who specializes in drinkin’ and cheatin’ songs is inspired to quit drinkin’ after learnin’ girlfriend is pregnant. Drinkin’ resumes after learnin’ girlfriend was cheatin’ and the baby ain’t his. The songs write themselves
Jason Alexander first heard about his newest show’s cancellation while thumbing through USA Today. Continues to comfort himself by crying softly into pillow made of Seinfeld residual checks.
At a recent Crash Test, Aziz Ansari challenged his roommate Zach to see who could come up with the sh* ttiest mixtape.
Each contestant was to choose five songs. Their other roommate, Merlin, would act as judge.
The loser would have to walk around the city blasting all ten songs from a boombox.
Aziz lost the contest.
I can’t believe LFO made it on that tape. Actually wait. Yes I can.
Watch the video here.
That means Katie Holmes had sex with somebody! I wonder who the father is????
Photo: (above) Tom shaking Katie, asking where babies come from
Click here for story
The Angry Alien bunnies recreate another classic.[Watch Now]
Link thanks to:
Milk and Cookies
Celebrities dance up a storm at a Katrina benefit party. Never has a hurricane been so much fun…That Katrina is so hot right now. Katrina.[Getty Picture set]
Just Jared provides us with a quick preview of this season’s Project Runway victims and I have decided to place my bets for who I think will be the final three contestants…based soley on their headshots ( I figure my superficiality is quite fiting to the show’s theme). Why these three, you ask? Here’s the break down: Two of them are rather adorable and the other one looks sort of like jesus and I’ve learned not to mess with people who look like the buddy christ…they mean business.[Just Jared Post]
Gawker has today’s ‘this s**t is bananas’ size scoop on Hollywood’s once Barbie and Ken couple. Quite frankly I don’t consider this all that interesting, unless Miss. Ashlee… sick of being in her sister’s shadow, realizes she has a once in a lifetime opportunity to make the front page again with more of a hoe-up than a hoe down. Ashlee, take a page from Paris Hilton’s memoirs and step up the evil a notch or two. If not for yourself, do it for the peoples![Gawker post]
Gerard Depardieu uses the ever popular Sean Penn technique to discourage photographer.Sacre bleu-arity ensues.
Dave Matthews Band, Foo Fighters and Switchfoot
want you to break CD Copy Protections. Want to know a better way to spend your time? Sit down and think about why on earth you would want to listen to
a Dave Matthews Band or Switchfoot cd.
Man arrested for falsely lighting emergency beacon. "Oh, wicked, bad, naughty evil Zoot!", said man.
Today is the day the music died. Martha Stewart in good ol’ gangsta fashion has decided to launch record label.
Anthony Hopkins to play the role of Ernest Hemingway. Overheard pondering, "vowels in or vowels out?"