• The first episode of The Sopranos is "amazing, instantly re-addictive" "shocking" and "as good as TV ever gets." I can’t wait until Sunday! (First time I’ve thought that in a while.) 
  • NBC Universal is paying more than $15 million to HBO for the cable rights to Six Feet Under. And then NBC Universal died alone in its kitchen after choking on a sandwich.
  • Kim Cattrall has signed on to Elton John‘s TV show which centers on a gay British rock star and his manager (Cattrall), a role originally written for a man. So now instead of a ladies’ man playing the field, the manager will be known as a tramp.
  • Michael Jackson was ordered to close his Neverland Valley Ranch and was fined $169,000 for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance. I’m starting to think there might be something wrong with Jackson.
  • David and Victoria Beckham have settled their libel suit against the British tabloid News of the World over allegations their marriage was a sham. In the tabloid’s defense, they meant to write "shame." (Because they’ve got a crush on David.)
  • David Lee Roth of spent "four hours yesterday telling his bosses where they could stick their ideas" because they want him to copy Howard Stern. There’s no better way to separate yourself from Stern than dissing your bosses.



Bowie1 FIND: David Bowie Comics. Some lucky collector dug up this rare comic that features David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust as a cartoon. Still just as cool as the original. (found objects)

BLOOPER REEL: Presidential bloopers video. Watching powerful people make fools of themselves never gets old! (SmitHappens)

MISTAKE: The cubicle. It was reported today that the inventor of the cubicle regretted the day he ever conceived of the soul-sucking set-up. A lot of good that does us now.  (CNN)

EMPLOYER: Michael Jackson. It’s a day off for 69 employees at Neverland Ranch who won’t go into to work until Jackson pays worker’s comp. Maybe the Llamma can run the Ferris Wheel in the meantime. (smoking gun)

PETA SPOKESPERSON: Morissey. He received the Linda McCartney Memorial Award from the animal activist organization for his classic Smiths album Meat is Murder. Maybe they never heard Suedehead.(peta)

LYRIC: "Why don’t you swallow my gift". That gem courtesy of Russell Crowe and his 30 Odd Foot of Grunts. We’d love to swallow your gift, Russell, but shouldn’t we unwrap it first? (Perez Hilton)

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT: Joy Behar bringing up Chloe Sevigny’s oral sex scene in Brown Bunny as a testament to her acting. Very subtle.(BWE)

While You Were Learning to Have a Sense of Humor


  • Pinkpantherposter2
    MGM has greenlit a follow-up to Steve Martin’s mediocre Pink Panther film.  Because the only thing America loves more than sequels and remakes are sequels TO remakes!
  • Joan Rivers is apparently looking for love on Match.com.  Ugh, I don’t think there is enough time left in Dr. Phil’s life to counsel someone through the horror of a date with her. 
  • Lindsay Lohan to be the new face of Louis VuittonKate Moss to (once again) be the new face of ChanelBuried deep in my hands to be the new place for my face.
  • Scott Stapp manages to avoid charges in his recent arrest for public intoxication.  Funny how no one gives a sh*t when something good finally happens to the poor douche. 
  • As we reported yesterday, Sharon Stone is offering to "kiss just about anyone" in order to bring peace to the Middle East.  Looks like she’s already got one taker
  • Mischa Barton dumps the Cisco Kid for a new cowboy.

A Public Statement Re: Paris Hilton and Herpes


To Whom It May Concern:

Over the course of the past few days, we have received numerous reports, most of which stem from a passage in this news story, indicating that Paris Hilton has herpes.  We would like to officially go on record as saying that these rumors are completely and absolutely false.

As our reputation seems to be soiled hourly by members of the press, it seems just cruel to further tarnish our name with sensational hearsay such as this.  We aren’t as bad as everyone thinks, and we wish you would all stop making up these lies about us.  So, to set the record straight once and for all: WE DO NOT HAVE PARIS HILTON.  That’s just disgusting.


Tom Cruise On The Lam!


Cruise_3 Police in Bothell, Washington are "searching for an armed robbery suspect who was described by victims as looking like actor Tom Cruise." The suspect, who is reportedly "handsome and friendly" held up a video store at gunpoint and is still on the loose.

While police assume it’s just a Tom Cruise look alike, let’s examine the facts. Tom wasn’t at the Oscars, in fact the last time he was spotted in public was in Tahiti a few weeks ago. In the meantime, Cruise has had a crappy week with ex-wife Nicole’s engagement and girlfriend Katie Holmes’s new-found friendship with ex Chris Klein. And he’s not just losing control over the women in his life, he’s also losing his power in Hollywood (see Razzies, Poll). Could all this pressure be driving Tom to a life of crime? Or is this just another thing people do when they’re totally, madly in love?

Going Out In Stiles


EdgarmemorialWe’re all still mourning the loss of our beloved Edgar Stiles on 24. The man. The myth. The legend.

Spoiler Alert, by the way (if you haven’t seen it yet).

The folks over at TVGasm haven’t recovered either. It turns out they go way back with Edgar… or "Nugget", as they called him.

I don’t think I’m a lone in having years of good memories with and
about Nugget. I’d like to invite each of you to share your special
memories old or new of time you had with Edgar. I think when these
stories come together, we will all have a better understanding of who
Edgar Stiles was, and his family will see how much joy he brought to
the world.

Please leave your memories below.

So go ahead. Click here to say your goodbyes. I’ll provide you the link, but you have to provide your own tissues.

Paul F. Tompkins: The Onion Interview



Maybe you recognize him from Mr. Show, or perhaps Tenacious D. Or even the movie Anchorman. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve noticed a man in a suit on a show called Best Week Ever. One way or another, I’m guessing you know Paul F. Tompkins.

Check out this great Onion A.V. Club interview, where Paul talks about everything from the Aspen Comedy Festival to alternative comedy to BWE. Unfortunately, the one question that I wanted answered that wasn’t asked: how many suits does he own? Maybe next interview.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Nobody Puts Their Finger In the Sauce


I hope I’m not the only one watching Bravo’s new reality show Top Chef.  Combining elements of pretty much every other reality show in history (probably best described as Project Runway meets The Apprentice by way of The Real World), Top Chef is a must-watch.  Here’s a great clip from last night’s episode, where Irishman Ken gets a little too mouthy with the master chef – and his sauce:

While You Were Shopping for Oscar Knock-off Dresses



  • Paris Hilton’s new album debuting in June includes a cover of Rod Stewart’s "Do You Think I’m Sexy?" In this updated version, however the question isn’t rhetorical.
  • Pete Doherty scrawls "I Love Kate 4 Eva" on a car window while leaving his trial for drug possession… (sigh) to be young and in love.
  • Dame Judi Dench wore a $15,000 bra by Victoria’s Secret to the Oscars. Just thought you should know.
  • Eva Longoria brings blinged out camera to boyfriend Tony Parker’s game to support him. Not to get attention.
  • Nick Lachey to star in the first CW sitcom after his sucessful guest starring role on WB’s Twins. Strangely, Ruben Studdard’s guest starring role on UPN’s One on One hasn’t helped his carrer at all.