Thursday Morning Quick Hits



Madonna apparently has a patent on having long hair, liking fashion and marrying a Brit.

If John Mayer leaves you dozens of voice mail messages where he’s
singing bad rap songs to you
, he has your number mixed up with Kanye

Newly de-coked Kate Moss makes the cover of Vanity Fair this month. "We
wanted to shoot her one more time, you know, before she gets too fat".

50 Cent
says Bush loves black people, will also release album of duets with Burt Bacharach.

Michael Jackson

   teams up with R. Kelly. Birds of a feather, blah blah blah…

star, age 16, regularly travels an hour to see 23-year-old
to have his hair done; No word on what kind of gel they use.

Tyra Banks goes undercover as a 350lb fat woman and learns what it’s like to be Star Jones for a day.

Money can’t buy you class…



Normally such a headline would be about Paris Hilton but this time it’s Stavros Niarchos III in the spoiled brat attention whoring spotlight. According to the New York Post, Stavros offered a homeless man outside of Burger King $100 to dump a soda on himself to impress his peers. I’ll give you a $100 Stavros if you let me give you a swift kick in the head. Come on over. Sounds like Paris has met her match. Fo’reals this time.[NY post article]

Boobs can only do so much!




, on her experience with therapy: "I respect knowledge of the
psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren’t an entertainer."
Hear that noise off in the distance? That’s the sound of Freud
surrendering.[yahoo story]

Now as a woman lacking superior boobies, it’s good to know that while they may be able to lure in innocent victims, get discounts from mechanics, aquire posh seating at restaurants and function as flotation devices in emergency circumstances, they are incapable of saving one’s psyche. Count it…that’s Ms. Simpson 0, Me 1.

I yam what I yam!



Oh, what is this? A house of ill repukes? Ooh, who’d bring me infant to
this den of immoraliky? Don’t touch nothin’. You might get a venerable
They’ve got me Olive Oyl and Swee’Pea!




"Can a washed up, has-been, old school aerobics instructor make a come back against the hot new fad of strip-aerobics?

Let’s Get Physical.[cynical smirk link] 

Wednesday Morning Quick Hits!




Gael Garcia Bernal
and Diego Luna, are forming their own film production company. Y tu mama, also.

Lil’ Kim
writing song lyrics while in prison. New album to include such classics as "Mah Prison Biatch" and "Lovin’ Wit A Broomhandle".

Jamie Lee Curtis
to stop making crappy movies, concentrate on crappy Hollywood parenting.

Highly sought MC Hammer library to go up for sale.  Now, U Too Can Touch This.

Comedy Central
picks up Futurama for $28.8M, or about the cost of a cheese pizza in the year 3000.

Alec Baldwin claims Kim Basinger turned daughter against him. Basinger argues that if he wanted kids to like him, he never would have made ‘The Shadow’.

Dolly Parton and Elton John to form a quartet and sing at the CMA awards. So there’s Elton John and Dolly Parton… who’s the 4th?