Monday Morning Quick Hits



Yoko Ono apologizes to Paul McCartney for calling him a bad songwriter,
still doesn’t take responsibility for breaking up the Beatles.

Times Square theater accidentally shows beginning of film with graphic
instead of Chicken Little; offers angry parents coupons for
free movies and fires Tyler Durden and here you thought that even a hummingbird couldn’t catch Tyler at work.

Hong Kong man sentenced to three months prison by the Ministry for the
Control of Bad Movies after sharing online "Daredevil" and "Miss

and her boyfriend, Jared Leto, set to make movie about the murder
of John Lennon
. Tentative titles include "You’ll want your $9.50 back"
and "A straight to DVD production".

Johnny Rotten wants to perform to the people of Iraq despite fearing they could stone him to death. If we could only be so lucky.

order to make a better work place, company bans people being grumpy.
Doc, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Happy, and Bashful praise the decision.

A Bruised And Subpoenaed Paris Hilton



"This time, however, you can blame over-ardent fans, says Hilton
consultant Elliot Mintz. "She’s very slender and can bruise easily,"
Mintz explains. "And that’s what happens when too many people are
coming at her and bodyguards are trying to move her around." Mintz said
Paris was in Las Vegas recently when she got mobbed. "You can say it
was frenzied fan overreaction," he said — and the bruises are
"absolutely, positively not" caused by her muscular new lover, Stavros

…and just when you thought the life of Paris was taking a vacation from the press….BAM!… Subpoenaed Paris Hilton. subpoenas are the new pink.[A Sociliate Life Scoop]

Nicole Richie: Has O.C. Fever



"Nicole Richie could be moving to The O.C. The fourth series of The Simple Life has been dropped and Nic is eager to get her face back on TV. Now the starlet is best friends with O.C
star Mischa Barton, the actress is pushing for executives to cast
Nicole as the new girl in town. "FOX loves Nicole," the insider says.
The O.C. also airs on FOX, Nicole could easily be added to that cast. Nicole is a huge fan of The O.C. and she loves Mischa. She’d love to join that show."

Playing an drug loving anorexic evil fembot should come naturally for Ms. Richie. So I applaud and encourage FOX’s decision. In fact, I think the show needs its very own "Brenda". Now if they could just get a Peach Pit to the O.C., the show’s ratings could finally take off. Perez Hilton (who may never leave California) has the scoop.[Perez Post]




"Even with Channel 102′s two-month summer hiatus, the creators of
"Shutterbugs" were just too busy to complete a "real" third episode, so
they combined some recycled footage with a fake movie trailer and an
apology instead. They lost their position at #1… but just barely.
Aziz Ansari and Rob Huebel smoked 9 out of 10 opponents
without even making a show. It looks like that old saying is true: don’t underestimate the ‘Bugs."

[Screenhead post]
[Direct Channel 102 link]

It’s berry berry hard being a grown up. Berry Berry hard…

Friday Morning Quick Hits



Oliver Stone begins shooting movie about 9/11 in NYC. He plans on using the tagline "Never forget… it’s in theaters this summer!"

forms a record label, Tom now knee-deep in hookers and blow.

Nicole Richie
says she would try heroin again. Probably because it’s much easier to find a vein now.

Vegetarian Pamela Anderson demands a ‘Vegetarian’ (i.e. leather free) Mercedes Benz G55 AMG. She also demanded air bags to be taken out as a standard feature as she prefers her own.

Stevie Wonder wants more Grammies for his trophy case. Friends hand him a couple old bowling trophies with crescent rolls taped to the end, hoping to shut him up

Grizzlies attack Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Bear-trainer Jennifer Aniston calls it a huuuuge coincidence.

Ashlee Simpson is just another drunk fembot.



So it seems Ms. Ashlee Simpson can’t handle her northern liquor all too well. After hitting up a few bars downtown Toronto, she decides, like any drunken idiot, to visit a local McDonald’s for some late night grub. Turns out a customer decided to use their cell phone camera to capture her drunken stupidity and instead of posting it on the internet like any normal individual they decided to send it in to a local Toronto news station. On the bright side, at least she didn’t try to do a jig to piss off our delightful neighbors. [Watch now]

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